|Horse's Ass of the Week: Antonella Barba|
Who is Antonella Barba? She's that no talent singer on this season's American Idol. If you're going to ask me what the hell I'm doing watching American Idol, that's an easy question. You are reading a pop culture site. I write about anything, and I was bored one night and I enjoy watching people make asses of themselves, so there. Leave me alone.
I like it. Balls to you.
Now onto the purpose of this article. Antonella can not sing, yet somehow she is still on the show. Let me elaborate about her singing ability. Picture someone as tone deaf as Ashley Simpson, with no rhythm, no tempo with the music behind her. Picture someone who is trying to pull off Aerosmith and Celine Dion songs, but has the vocal range of a 65 year old smoker. I literally know a 5 year old boy that has a stronger vibrato than this preppy chick.
I had to ask myself, "Well, Matt - how's she still on the show?" Then I realized I was talking to myself in typing form, took my medication and moved on.
It's really quite simple. Guys vote for her because she is easy on the eyes. By easy on the eyes I mean she's a nice piece of ass.
But what about the girls? My conclusion is that Antonella is in the same vein as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and all the other girls in Hollywood. They skate in with their looks, do some slutty publicity whoring, and keep it up so they don't get forgotten. Antonella's already on the fast track with some racy photographs she took awhile ago, apparently infront of some WWII memorial. Ouch. That's some tough publicity whoring. The girl deserves a gold star smacked on her ass from Paris Hilton herself. That would be a tremendous photo-op. Someone set that up.
Why little girls look up to these "ladies" is beyond me. It makes no sense. You could blame the media, or sites like ours for covering stories like that, but really, he who smelt it dealt it. I don't smell anything, so fuck you.
Antonella was saved tonight. America decided to get rid of the less attractive Leslie Hunt, and the equal-to-Antonella-hot, equal-to-Antonella-no-talent, Alaina Alexander. What does this mean? Well, you were all 50% on the night. That's not good enough. Then again, you all voted a southern guy who flailed around like a big dumb goof as your pick last year, so I don't have much faith in you.
Maybe when it comes down to it, Antonella might be the horse's ass of the week, but you who vote for her are just as guilty.
You want a dumb hot chick on your TV? Turn to the next channel. Chances are you'll run into another one right away. Let her go. Do it for little girls. Do it for older sophisticated women. Do it for my lacking faith in humanity.
Don't be a horse's ass.
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