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4 Reasons Why Dollhouse is Doomed

Written by Matt, on 11-09-2008 09:29

With the news that production has halted on the Dollhouse set , and the other news that Fox execs might not be too thrilled about how the show is going , I figured I might as well go ahead and post the blog entry that I've been waiting to do since the day the show was announced.

EVERYBODY PANIC.

WOMEN and CHILDREN FIRST.

DOLLHOUSE is DOOMED. Here's 4 reasons why....

(More after the bump)

4. It Stars Eliza Dushku

No offense to Eliza, but she hasn't really been in too many successful shows and/or movies. Tru Calling? The New Guy? Soul Survivors? I mean, seriously.....WRONG TURN? The mutant West Virginians? ANYONE? ANYONE?

I'm yelling again, I'm sorry.

It's a bad sign when your agent's phone number goes to a Hardee's in Minnesota.

3. Re-Shooting The Pilot

No matter what Joss says, even if it was his idea, remaking the pilot looked bad. It makes you automatically assume that the executives didn't get it, didn't like it, or didn't think it would generate an audience. More than likely all three are correct. This is the type of behind-the-scenes stuff that ends up getting the critics crying "bad!" before they even see your series or movie. Things like this and having french guys fuck up your script. Or if you have a douchebag actor who thinks his shit doesn't stink....

You smell that? Smells like what I imagine rainbows smell like.

2. It's on FOX.

Really, one could assume this is all Whedon's fault. Why he keeps going back to FOX is beyond me. Maybe he's just comfortable with how they run things. Maybe they're the only ones who like his ideas (I highly doubt that). Maybe he's just into torture and ridicule. Maybe he just likes getting his shows canceled. I don't know. But I do know that because it's on FOX, if the show is more than likely brilliant, it will be gone in 3 months tops.

Shit. I have a cancel button after me again! Must...out...run....it.

1. Try explaining the premise in one sentence. I dare ya!

I guess you could say, "Eliza Dushku is a different character every week." But that just makes it sound like a Quantum Leap rip-off. No, you really can't describe the story in a single sentence, and two sentences is pushing it. Usually when that happens you either have a complicated dud on your hands, or you have a made-for-sci-fi channel movie. Either way, the results tend to be not that good.

From this picture we can assess the following about the series: These people are pretty. Some like to wear business suits, the others like to take pictures barefoot. Now you understand Dollhouse probably as much as FOX does. Congratulations.

Users' Comments (4)

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Posted by Floop695, on 30-11-2008 11:44, IP 120.16.9.151, Registered

1. Trivia Chess

Trivia time:
What do the rather popular movies True Lies, Bring it On and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back have in common? Give up? Eliza Dushku. Sure, some may argue that these weren't the most intellectual of films.. but figures speak louder than words and those movies brought in some serious dough.

Check.

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Posted by SierraLynn, on 28-09-2008 11:41, IP 76.184.95.38, Registered

2. Nobody ever gets it.

One sentence summary...go!
"Eliza and others are programmable amnesiacs for hire, and shenanigans ensue." Yep, that works for me.
Sadly, I feel that most of the GREAT shows that are put out there are just too intelligent for most of the viewers. They want easy entertainment, no thinking involved. Whedon writes intelligent and thought provoking works, even with his penchant for killing off a loved character.
If Dollhouse is doomed, it's because people (aka FOX), are too dimwitted to understand it.
I have hopes, but I'm prepared for the worst.

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Posted by Browncoat22, on 26-09-2008 07:08, IP 90.213.15.208, Registered

3. Punning frenzy

When Buffy finished I remember reading in the Buffy magazine about Firefly and thought, "It's never gonna work, why sci-fi? everyone does sci-i", but I forgot no one does anything like Joss Whedon. And I was forced to eat my words, and wash (sorry for the pun)them down with mudder's milk. I am still keeping the faith (sorry again)that Dollhouse will be as much of a wonderful surprise as Firefly was. Whether it lasts or not, Joss Whedon will always have my support when it comes to anything. "You gotta trust him, he's earned it"

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Posted by Author By Night, on 25-09-2008 18:25, IP 69.251.84.68, Registered

4. Re: #2

Remember those Charlie Brown cartoons, when Lucy would have Charlie Brown try and kick the football, only as soon as he went to, she'd snatch it from him?

That's what Joss and Fox reminds me of. ^_^

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