4 Reasons Why Dollhouse is Doomed

With the news that production has halted on the Dollhouse set , and the other news that Fox execs might not be too thrilled about how the show is going , I figured I might as well go ahead and post the blog entry that I've been waiting to do since the day the show was announced.

EVERYBODY PANIC.

WOMEN and CHILDREN FIRST.

DOLLHOUSE is DOOMED. Here's 4 reasons why….

(More after the bump)

4. It Stars Eliza Dushku

No offense to Eliza, but she hasn't really been in too many successful shows and/or movies. Tru Calling? The New Guy? Soul Survivors? I mean, seriously…..WRONG TURN? The mutant West Virginians? ANYONE? ANYONE?

I'm yelling again, I'm sorry.

3. Re-Shooting The Pilot

No matter what Joss says, even if it was his idea, remaking the pilot looked bad. It makes you automatically assume that the executives didn't get it, didn't like it, or didn't think it would generate an audience. More than likely all three are correct. This is the type of behind-the-scenes stuff that ends up getting the critics crying "bad!" before they even see your series or movie. Things like this and having french guys fuck up your script. Or if you have a douchebag actor who thinks his shit doesn't stink….

2. It's on FOX.

Really, one could assume this is all Whedon's fault. Why he keeps going back to FOX is beyond me. Maybe he's just comfortable with how they run things. Maybe they're the only ones who like his ideas (I highly doubt that). Maybe he's just into torture and ridicule. Maybe he just likes getting his shows canceled. I don't know. But I do know that because it's on FOX, if the show is more than likely brilliant, it will be gone in 3 months tops.

1. Try explaining the premise in one sentence. I dare ya!

I guess you could say, "Eliza Dushku is a different character every week." But that just makes it sound like a Quantum Leap rip-off. No, you really can't describe the story in a single sentence, and two sentences is pushing it. Usually when that happens you either have a complicated dud on your hands, or you have a made-for-sci-fi channel movie. Either way, the results tend to be not that good.

From this picture we can assess the following about the series: These people are pretty. Some like to wear business suits, the others like to take pictures barefoot. Now you understand Dollhouse probably as much as FOX does. Congratulations.