Crush

Writer: David Fury Director: Daniel Attias

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Michelle Trachtenberg as Dawn Summers, James Marsters as Spike, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles. Main guest stars : Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers, Amber Benson as Tara, Charlie Weber as Ben, Mercedes McNab as Harmony, Juliet Landau as Drusilla. Original broadcast date : February 13, 2001 My one-line description: Humiliated by three women in one night… That’s even worse than William the Bloody. At the Bronze, Buffy watches as her friends enjoy the dance floor. Suddenly, Spike joins her, commenting that the prices at the bar are higher since the renovations (remember the mess the troll made?). Buffy, nonplussed, coldly suggests he take his business elsewhere. Not getting the hint, he sits down, and she asks him why he’s pretending they’re buddies. He argues he just wanted to give her some company, but she just glares at him. He tries to convince her that she should cut him some slack, since he helped her fight Glory. The gang comes back to the table, and Spike angrily leaves. Xander offers to buy drinks for the entire group, but notices that the change he left on the table is gone. He spots Spike at the bar buying something, and gets up while Buffy notices Ben the intern and goes to talk to him… Spike barely pays any attention to Xander as the human takes back his change, busy as he is staring at Buffy talking to another guy. A train pulls in at the Sunnydale station, and a porter waits by the door for the passengers to climb out. When nothing happens, he climbs inside to investigate, and discovers rows of drained bodies… As he turns to leave, he himself is held back and attacked by an invisible hand. Buffy returns home to find Joyce and Dawn watching TV while Giles reads a book. She reports she had a good time, even though Spike was there – a fact which interests Dawn very much. As she leads Giles to the door, he asks how Dawn is doing, and she replies that they’ve been going easy on her. He advises that the best thing may be to act as normal as possible… So Buffy turns around and yells at Dawn for taking her blue cashmere sweater. In his crypt, Spike is caressing the aforementioned sweater… Harmony shows up and tries to get him to go to bed with her. He’s not interested, until she suggests they play a game… Cut to Harmony, stake in hand, wearing Buffy’s blue sweater and pretending to be the Slayer. Spike jumps out of the shadows and tackles her. On campus the next day, Buffy reads the papers and finds out about the six murdered people found at the train station. Discussing it with Tara and Willow, she figures it must be a vampire, because of the neck traumas reported. Dawn visits Spike in his crypt, and he asks if Buffy knows where she is. Dawn answers no, but she wants to stay – she explains that Spike is the only one who treats her like a person, and that she feels safe with him. This makes Spike cough on his bourbon, and he demands that she take that back; she tries to mend her mistake by saying that he’s tough, that even Buffy thinks so. Suddenly interested, Spike asks what else Buffy says about him… Buffy comes home to find out from Joyce that her sister hasn’t come back from school yet; she sets off to find her. At the crypt, Spike is telling Dawn a scary story when Buffy bursts in. She grabs Dawn, who explains that Spike was telling her a story. Buffy agrees to stay long enough to hear the story that Spike is telling her sister, but a chastised Spike changes the story so it has a happy ending. Dawn thinks it’s lame, but this time Buffy does drag her outside. She lashes out at Dawn, reminding her how dangerous Spike is, even though she knows Dawn has a crush on him… Dawn interrupts her, saying that she doesn’t have a shot at Spike, since he’s in love with Buffy. Buffy looks quite taken aback at this revelation… Checking the murder scene on the train with Xander, Buffy asks for advice regarding Spike’s crush on her. Xander brushes it off as entertaining, and then asks Buffy how she knows about that. Buffy reveals that Dawn has a crush on Spike, and Xander is a bit hurt in his male ego – he thought the teen had a crush on him. The two give up the search, having found no clues. As they leave, the camera zooms in on a luggage rack, where we see a makeshift bed and a very familiar porcelain doll… Buffy goes back home to find Joyce making small talk with Dawn and… Spike. This annoys Buffy more than a little, but the vampire informs her that he found a lead on the train vampires, and that he’s ready to lead her to them. At night, Spike and Buffy sit in his car, observing a warehouse… He opens the glove compartment and retrieves flask, which he offers to the Slayer. “Ew,” she says. “It’s not blood, it’s bourbon,” he replies. “Eeeeeww,” she says again, slower. And again they wait… Two vampires show up, and Buffy and Spike storm the place. The vampires flee, and Buffy notices that the vampires have been here a while – they’ve nested. So they couldn’t have been the ones who attacked the train. Buffy berates Spike for wasting her time, and then asks what’s going on – is this his idea of a date? He tries to declare his love for her, but she refuses to let him talk and leaves, thoroughly disgusted. Spike goes back to his crypt to find a familiar face waiting for him – Drusilla… After sharing some gossip about Angel and Darla back together in L.A., Drusilla tells Spike she wants them all to be a family again. Spike argues that he likes Sunnydale, but Drusilla claims he’s still a killer, even with the chip. He reminds her that the pain is awful, but she says it’s all in his head – the electricity is a lie. Harmony yells at Spike for bringing in a Drusilla look-alike for sex, but he tells her it’s the real Drusilla. Harmony makes a scene, until he throws her out. At Buffy’s home, Joyce, Buffy and Willow are discussing Spike’s obsession. Joyce advises Buffy to go see him and break it off completely; Willow offers to accompany her, but the Slayer asks her to perform another small task for her… Spike and Drusilla arrive at the Bronze, where they dance a bit before heading up to the balcony for a snack… Said snack being a young couple, whose necks Drusilla snaps before tossing the girl to Spike. After hesitating for a moment, he vamps out and drinks. Buffy goes to Spike’s crypt and finds it empty. She moves down into the tunnel, where she finds the mannequin, along with some pictures and drawings of her. Freaked out, she climbs back upstairs, to find herself face-to-face with Spike… and Drusilla, who shocks her unconscious with a taser. Dru asks Spike to tie Buffy up, and hands him the taser… but he shocks her unconscious too. Buffy wakes up tied up, and spots Drusilla also tied up a few feet from her. Spike explains that he wants to prove his love to Buffy by staking Dru; Buffy argues that it would only prove that he’s sick and miserable. Spike growls that if Buffy doesn’t admit that there’s something between them, he’ll untie Drusilla and let her kill the Slayer. “The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious,” Buffy replies defiantly. Spike, now furious, wonders what is wrong with women. As she rants on about Drusilla leaving him and his feeling for Buffy being wrong, Harmony enters and tries to shoot him with a crossbow. As she reloads the bow, Spike attacks her, and Drusilla takes the opportunity to break out of her bonds and attack Buffy. The Slayer fares pretty well, until Spike knocks down both Harmony and Drusilla and comes to unlock her chains. Drusilla and Harmony both get up and leave, throwing final barbs at Spike as they go. Buffy turns to Spike, looks at him… and punches him hard. As she leaves, he runs after her; she wants to know which part of her hitting him he didn’t understand, and shouts that she wants him out of town and out of her life. As she enters her house, he tells her that she can’t shut him out that easily. But as he tries to also go in, he bounces back… and Buffy closes the door in his face. Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac -

“Kind of an inappropriate time for this episode, but anything with Drusilla’s return in it makes me happy.”

Quotes

The Crush Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, A=Anya, D=Dawn, T=Tara, J=Joyce, DR=Drusilla, H=Harmony

B: I’m back by popular demand.

J: I’m relieved that you’re home. Because, to be honest, I wasn’t feeling all that safe with you gone… At first, and then I remembered that Rupert was here, and I felt much, much safer. G: Yes, thank you for that little back-pedal, but I’m forced to agree that I’m barely an adequate substitute for a Slayer in the house.

G: About the best thing you can do now is behave exactly as you always have. Any special treatment at this stage is likely to undermine Dawn’s sense of normality. B: You think so? G: Absolutely. B: Thanks. Dawn! D: What? B: What did I tell you about borrowing my clothing?

H: Oh, I’m gonna stake you! I’m coming after you, you bad, evil vampire, and I’m gonna slay you! I’m sneaking up, and I’m gonna stake you so much, with my slaying powers that I have because I’m the Chosen– eek! Oh, Spike!

T: Also, you can tell it’s not gonna have a happy ending when the main guy’s all bumpy. W: What did you think, Buffy? B: Test isn’t until tomorrow, right? I don’t have an opinion till then. W: But you read it, right? B: Kind of not. I rented the movie. T: Oh, with Charles Laughton? B: I don’t know. Was he one of the singing gargoyles? W: Oh, boy. B: I’m kidding!

B: “Unconfirmed reports of severe trauma to the throats of one or more of the victims.” Survey says… vampire.

S: I’ve got things to do. Bad, evil things.

S: They’re just trying to keep you safe, I expect. D: I feel safe with you. S: [chokes] Take that back!

D: And the lady just invited you in? S: Well, I had hubby by the throat, didn’t I? Promised her he’d live if she did the invite. D: And did you… let him live? S: What do you think? D: Oh. S: Too much for you? D: No, keep going. S: And I kill ’em, right quick. The whole lot. But… there’s someone missing. There’s supposed to be this little girl… So I get real quiet, and I hear this tiny noise coming from the coal bin. This little sigh. So I listened harder… it’s very, very quiet… [door slams open] S: Oh, bloody hell.

B: Yeah, let’s hear the story Spike is telling my little sister. S: Right. Yeah. So, uh, I knew the girl was in the coal bin. And I rip it open, very violently, and haul her out of there. And then I gave her to a good family, in a nice home, where they’re never, ever mean to her and didn’t lock her in a coal bin.

B: Why doesn’t that register with you? Crypt plus vampire equals bad.

B: Hanging out with Spike is not cool, Dawn, okay? It is dangerous, and… icky.

B: You cannot have a crush on something that is dead and evil and a vampire.

D: Spike’s completely in love with you. B: Huh?

X: So, tell me again what we’re looking for? B: Clues. X: Okay. Could you give me a clue about what kind of clues?

B: She thinks that… she said that… Spike’s in love with me. X: [laughs] B: I’m not joking. X: Oh, I hope not. It’s funnier if it’s true.

X: How did she come to this extremely entertaining conclusion?

B: I think she has a crush on him. X: What? B: I mean, I always knew that he had this… weird fixation with me… X: I’m the one she has a crush on. Me! It’s always been me. Big, funny Xander! Oh, what, she just suddenly decides I’m not the cool one anymore? Why is that okay?

S: I got a bit of info you might be keen on knowing. B: Sorry, all out of cash. Why don’t you hit on Giles– hit UP Giles.

S: Come on, what are you waiting for? Grab your coat and your pointy sticks.

B: Eww. S: It’s not blood, it’s bourbon. B: Eww.

S: Well, that was sad. I’m embarrassed for our kind.

B: These vamps have been here for a while. They’ve nested. S: So, you’re saying they’re a couple of poofters?

B: The late night stake-out, the bogus suspects, the flask… is this a date? S: A… please! A date! You are completely off your bird! I mean– do you want it to be?

S: You can’t deny it– there’s something between us. B: Loathing. Disgust. S: Heat. Desire.

B: You’re like a serial killer in jail. S: Women marry ’em all the time!

B: You don’t know what feelings are. S: I damn well do! I lie awake every night. B: You sleep during the day! S: Yeah, bu– You are missing the point.

S: Sounds fun. DR: It is. Like lollipops at the circus.

S: Poor Spike’s become a cautionary tale for vampires, right? “You better be good, kiddies, or else they might wire you up some day.”

H: Now you’ve gone and picked up some cheap Queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Droodzilla.

H: No threesomes unless it’s boy, boy, girl. Or Charlize Theron.

H: After breaking my sweet Boo-Boo’s heart! DR:: [mouths to Spike] Boo-Boo?

S: I think it’d be best now if you hit the road. H: Why? Because she’s back? S: No. Because I am.

J: Honey, did you, somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Send him signals? B: Well, I do beat him up a lot. For Spike, that’s like third base.

W: Buffy, you have to talk to him again. B: What? No! No, no, no. I have to avoid him again.

J: Better to nip this in the bud before… B: The bud nips me?

W: If you want, Buffy, I can go with. Back you up with some scowlin’.

B: Maybe this whole thing’s just been blown way out of proportion and he’s already gone back to wanting me dead. W: Her’s hoping.

DR: You’ve taken my chair. and the music hasn’t stopped.

DR: We love quite well… if not wisely.

S: I’m gonna kill Drusilla for you. B: That doesn’t prove anything… except that you’re a sick, miserable vampire that I should have dusted a long time ago. And, hey! Already there.

S: Don’t mock this. B: Go mock yourself.

S: What the hell does it take?! Why do you bitches torture me?! B: Which question do you want me to answer first?

H: I gave you the best bunch of months of my life!

DR: That’s right, little girl. Teach our naughty boy a lesson. S: Oh, so now you’re all ganging up.

B: What part of punching you in the face did you not understand? Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers