Five by Five

We only have the quotes for this one.

Quotes

Key: A = Angel, C = Cordelia, W = Wesley, F = Faith, D = Darla, LM = Lindsey MacDonald

A: Name Marquez? Marquez: :: Nods:: A: Good. I hate saving the wrong guy.

A: Can I take off this blindfold yet? D: No. A: Can I take off something else?

D: Happy Birthday, Angelus. A: She’s a gypsy. D: I looked everywhere. A: What would I do without you? D: Wither and die. But she’s not just for you. I get to watch.

A: Next time they come after you, I’m not going to be there. And your friends aren’t going to be there either – not after being cut up and incinerated.

C: I knew it when you brought him in last night. Someone with that much body art is gonna have a different definition of civic duty. W: After we saved his life? C: When was the last time *you* wrote a thank you card?

C: Wesley, you don’t change a guy like that. In fact, generally speaking, you don’t change a guy. What you see is what you get. Scratch the surface, and whaddya find? More surface. C: What’s Angel gonna do, drag a bunch of them in here to shove a soul down this guy’s throat? W: He may be a ruffian. But he’s already got a soul, and therefore, somewhere deep down inside, an urge to do what’s right. :: Door Opens :: Marquez: No way, I’m gone. A: :: Drags him back :: Slams Door:: Shut up and sit down. C: I guess you’re right Wesley. He’s just like the Dalai Lama.

A: You’re gonna have to face your demons some time. M: What if I don’t want to face my demons? A: Then you’ll have to face mine.

Girl: Excuse me! F: Okay. You’re excused. G: That’s my boyfriend. F: Really? Does he have your name on him? Cuz I don’t see it anywhere.

LM: While the arguments that the District Attorney here has presented here are somewhat entertaining, this case hinges on testimony of witnesses they’ve been unable to produce.

LM: I request a dismissal of all charges against my client, whose reputation has been irreparably damaged by these proceedings. He’s a law-abiding and upstanding. . . citizen. A: Your client really is. Except for that pesky drug dealing and murder stuff.

LM: I hate failure when there’s no one else to blame it on.

Lila: I’ll make the contact. Lee: I don’t think so. It’s my deal; I’ll make the contact. Lila: Let me think about it–No. Lee: Why not? Lila: It’s your people skills. You don’t have any. Lee: You bitch.

C: Unfortunately, we don’t really do divorce cases. No, it’s not about the money. Oh! It’s about *that* much money! How soon can we meet?

C: How’d it go? W: We won. C: Gang Guy testified? A: Stood up and told the truth. C: What did I tell you? W: That he never would.

C: You can always tell when he’s happy. His scowl? Slightly less scowl-y.

F: Who is we? And why do they know about me when I don’t know jack about you? Lila: Green is my favorite color. I look good in diamonds. And I love riding in limousines.

A: Not everyone screams. D: What? A: When you kill ’em. Some just stand there, frozen. While others. . . . D: What are you doing? Are we playing a game? A: The children – they usually scream. D: Yes. They sound just like little pigs. Have you brought me some?

A: Funny. You’d think with all the people I’ve maimed and killed, I wouldn’t be able to remember Every - Single - One.

LM: To make a long story less long, I think for services rendered, we can get you off. F: You don’t know how many men have promised me that.

Lee: It might behoove you to know a little bit more about your intended, so before we discuss remuneration . . . F: Huh? Lee: Payment.

Lee: I wanna make sure you understand this firm is in no way connected to anything you do. It’s my ass on the line here. I don’t want you to make me look bad. F: ::SLAM:: How do you look now? Lila: She shows initiative. LM: Jesse, I think you’d better make it three for dinner instead of four.

C: It’s not the kind of case I’d normally go after, but we’ve got to consider the bottom line. A: What kind of demons are we dealing with? C: Well, it’s not exactly a “demon thing.” W: What kind of “thing” is it? C: It’s a . . . kind of. . . husband-and-wife break-up thing. W: A divorce case? A: You’re kidding. C: What’s wrong with a divorce case? A: It’s not what we do. C: According to the husband, the wife’s a real witch. W: Seems a bit on the seedy side. C: This is not seedy. He’s in government.

C: Oh, and we should pick up the tab for lunch. Nothing says success less than splitting the bill. A: I didn’t bring any money with me. C: Okay, Elvis, when you’re a big star, you can get away without carrying cash.

C: And while we’re on the subject, I think one of us should apply for a small business loan. Just to get us through the rough spots. I mean, what’s a 30-year loan to you?

F: That was so cool! This is gonna be fun. W: Oh my god, Faith. A: I thought she was in a coma. C: Pretty lively coma.

A: Giles said she left Sunnydale about a week ago. Described her mental state as borderline psychotic. C: That explains her outfit.

W: This isn’t right. C: When a whacked out Slayer tries to kill your boss, it’s very wrong.

W: I meant Giles. Why didn’t he give me the heads up? I was Faith’s Watcher. When she came out of her coma, Giles should have contacted me immediately. C: Maybe he was busy trying to keep her from, I don’t know, killing everybody?

A: Make yourselves scarce. I don’t want to give her any free targets. W: You’ve been targeted by a psychotic. I’m certainly not going to run and hide. C: I like the plan where I’m scarce. W: We’ve got to band together. Strength in numbers. C: Two’s a number.

W: It seems you’re taking this personally. A: She tried to shoot my own personal back, so yeah.

W: She’s not a demon. She’s a sick, sick girl. If there’s even a chance she can be reasoned with . . . A: There was. Last year, I had a shot at saving her. I was pulling her back from the brink when some British guy kidnaped her and made damn sure she’d never trust another living soul. C: Angel, it’s not Wesley’s fault that “some British guy” ruined your. . . oh wait. That was you. Go on. W: You don’t need to.

F: Hey, baby. Come give us a hug. A: I was hoping you’d stop by. Always good to see old friends.

F: You didn’t shoot to kill! We’re gonna have to up the stakes. Get you in the game a little. A: What’s the game, exactly, Faith? Boredom? Revenge? F: Dude, I’m getting *paid*. They hate you almost as much as I do.

A: It ever occur to you this might be more fun for me? F: Ya think? Cuz, what if you kill me? Experience that one true moment of pleasure. Oops! I’d get off on that. Go ahead. Do me. Let’s take that hell ride together.

Lawyer: We have to close Gruber now. Before the soft offer becomes hard and the stock goes . . . A: Through the ceiling! Lawyer: In the toilet! A: Right.

A: Where’s Faith? LM: Should I know what you’re talking about? A: Your new employee. LM: It’s a big firm. Tell you what I can do, I can give you the number to personnel, though. I’m sure they’d be glad to handle your problem. A: You’d remember this one – pretty, dark hair, kills things.

A: Too bad the body burned up before it hit the ground. I mighta needed a good lawyer. LM: I’m sorry. We only handle a certain class of clientele. A: I’m sure I’ve killed enough people to qualify.

LM: You know, just when I think I’ve got you figured out, you show up in a suit.

W: A woman fitting Faith’s description was involved–however, not arrested. C: She charm her way out? W: No. Apparently, she managed to break a policeman’s jaw with his own handcuffs before she disappeared into the night. C: Oh. For Faith, that is charm.

C: Phantom Dennis, let us in. It’s alright. It’s only Wesley. W: Dennis your ghost, I presume? C: Yes. He’s jealous. (To Dennis) Don’t worry, hell will freeze over before I have sex with him. W: Thank goodness for small favors.

C: I’m gonna pack a bag. W: Cordelia, please. Just a few things. We’re not going on safari.

W: It’s not too late. F: For cappuccino? ’Cuz, just keeps me up.

F: All these little cuts and bruises just bring out the mother in me.

F: Don’t poop out on me, dammit! Otherwise this is all just gonna be over too fast. You’ll be dead, and I’ll be . . . bored.

F: Now, we’ve only done one of the five basic torture groups. We’ve done blunt, but that still leaves sharp, cold, hot, and loud. Have a preference?

F: Oh, that’s great. It’s always better with audience participation. May I take your order please? W: I was your Watcher Faith. I know the real you. And even if you kill me, there’s just one thing I want you to remember. F: What’s that, love? W: You. . . are a piece of shi-

C: Here, another guy ran into something he referred to as The Bitch from Hell, who sent him home with paramedics.

F: I feel it’s kind of my duty to tell you that if you’d been a better Watcher, I would have been a more positive role model.

F: Face it, Wesley, you really were a jerk. Always walking around like you had some great big stake rammed up your English Channel.

F: Admit it, Wesley, didn’t you always kind of have the hots for me?

F: How do I know you’re really in this? I mean, if I kill him, would that help? Or just be really funny?

A: By the way, you never told me how much I’m worth dusted, just out of curiosity. F: $15,000 plus expenses. A: You’re kidding. F: Hey, I’m young. I’m gonna work my way up. A: You feel young, do you, Faith? You’re looking pretty worn out to me.

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