Couplet

Starring: David Boreanaz as Angel, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia, Amy Acker as Fred, Alexis Denisof as Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, J. August Richards as Gunn

Guest starring: Andy Hallet as Lorne, Mark Lutz as Groo (“Groosalugg”)

Original air date: February 18, 2002

Written by: Tim Minear & Jeffrey Bell Directed by: Tim Minear

Angel and Lorne are upstairs watching Connor. They’re talking about the Groosalug. Angel’s clearly miffed that Groo showed up and he’s not at all happy that Cordy took Groo back to her place. Lorne notices that Cordy’s perfume is all over Angel’s jacket and Angel tries to tell Lorne that a spell happened, that there’s nothing between himself and Cordy, and that he’s better off being alone. After Lorne leaves Angel smells Cordy’s perfume on his jacket.

Meanwhile, in Cordy’s apartment Groo explained how he was deposed. Cordy asks Groo if he misses being royal, but Groo tells her that there was never anyone else but her. He welcomed being deposed so that he could return to her. They kiss, but when Cordy pulls back she sees a black, scaly, horned demon-looking thing.

The next morning, before anyone else comes in, Wes asks to talk with Angel. Wes is concerned about his existence and Angel thinks he is evil. Wes realizes that he and Angel aren’t talking about the same “him.” Wes is concerned about Connor’s existence, even though it was foretold in the Nyazian Prophecies. Wes wants to know what role Connor is to play in the future because Angel’s enemies will be trying to figure that out, too. Angel suggests storming Wolfram & Hart to retrieve the prophecies, but Wes thinks he may be able to use other pieces of scholarship to understand the prophecies. Wes has already been looking into it, but he wanted Angel to know.

Cordy shows up for work with Groo in tow. Angel’s not the least bit happy that Groo is playing with the weapons from Angel’s cabinet. Cordy explains her most recent vision that was a total mood-killer. She also tells Wes and Angel that she and Groo didn’t have sex the night before because Cordy could lose her visionity. Cordy’s concerned that sex in this world could lead to the transfer of visions from her to Groo, just as it would have in Pylea. Angel clearly likes the idea of Cordy and Groo not having sex. Instead Angel suggests jogging to relieve the tension, but Wes thinks a mystical prophylactic might work.

About this time Gunn and Fred are having breakfast at a diner. Gunn tells Fred that, until their kiss the night before, he was sure that Fred would be dating Wes. Fred assures Gunn that she and Wes are just friends, but she is worried about what people in the office will think. Just as they are about to kiss over the breakfast table, their beepers go off. It’s Wes with information on the Sineed demon that Cordy saw in her vision. The demon is here to feed. Wes directs Angel to start in the sewers at the hotel while everyone else will start in the sewers near a park. They’ll work towards each other to find the Sineed demon. Groo has seen demons similar to the Sineed and says that they’re easy to track but difficult to kill. Wes tells Groo to go with Angel. Angel is definitely not happy about the plan.

While Angel and Groo track the demon in the sewers, Groo asks Angel why Cordy is unhappy. About this time they hear a loud roar and find some demon blood on the gound. They track the Sineed to a water treatment facility where the demon attacks. Angel and Groo fight back until the Sineed crashes through a door flooding the room with sunlight. Angel has to cower in the shadows so Groo follows the demon out to the sunshine where he slays it. The Sineed disappears into a puddle of goo. Wes, Fred, Cordy, and Gunn arrive just in time to see Groo slay the Sineed, and Groo is rewarded by a hug from Cordy and grateful applause from witnesses in the park.

Back at the Hyperion Groo shows everyone how he slayed the demon. Angel watches Groo while interviewing a potential client, Ms. Frakes. He’s clearly distracted. The client thinks that her missing fiancé was lured away by a witch. Angel agrees to check out the ‘other woman.’ Ms. Frakes suggests that they tail Jerry, her fiancé. Wes asks Gunn to go out and follow Jerry and, much to Wes’s dismay, Fred goes with Gunn.

Wes and Angel go to a used book store that has a copy of a text that Wes is looking for. While there Wes and Angel discuss the Cordy-Groo situation. Angel thinks that Cordy’s being all noble so that she won’t lose her visions, but also thinks that Cordy and Groo should just kam-shuck so she can be happy. Wes is worried about the whole “office romance” thing and what might happen if Cordy and Groo have an argument. As far as Angel is concerned, as long as one member of the team is getting messages from the Powers That Be they can fulfill their mission. Wes asks Angel if he is suggesting that Groo could replace Cordy, but that’s not what’s on Angel’s mind. Angel thinks that Groo could just replace *him.* Angel sees Groo as a man who can do everything that he can including some things that Angel can’t, like going out into the sunlight. Wes reassures Angel that it’s Angel’s mission that unites the team.

At the Hyperion Cordy is giving Groo a make-over. Groo wants to know if this “whole new me” is someone that Cordy will be able to love. Cordy tells Groo that she can’t give herself to Groo - she wants to, but she is unwilling to give up her visions.

Meanwhile, Gunn and Fred have tailed Jerry to a humongous tree. In Gunn’s truck they set up some video surveillance and, while they’re waiting for the other woman to show up, they get some serious canoodling done. Unfortunately while they aren’t looking, Jerry disappears.

Wes and Angel return to the hotel, still discussing Groo. Wes thinks having another warrior on the team would be good but also reminds Angel that he and Groo are two different people. Sort of. As Wes and Angel enter the lobby they see the new and improved Groo. In fact, the new and improved Groo looks a lot like Angel - same hair and Angel’s clothes, right down to the leather jacket. This does not make Angel a happy camper.

Angel goes to talk to Cordy about it but, before he can do any real complaining, Cordy asks him for a personal favor. It’s a job that she can only trust Angel with. Cordy wants Angel’s help so that she can have sex with Groo. Cordy found a source for a paranormal prophylactic and Cordy asks Angel to go with Groo to a demon brothel to pick up a potion so that she and Groo can “kam-shuck like bunnies.” Groo thanks Angel for his help and gives Angel a hug. Angel is getting even more uncomfortable about this.

Back at the tree Gunn and Fred review their video tape to find out what might have happened to Jerry. They watch the tape and see Jerry being bound by some tendrils and then sucked down below the roots of the tree. Fred says, “that can’t be good” right before some tendrils wrap around her and Gunn and suck them down below the roots of the tree.

At the brothel Angel goes to Anita’s office to pick up the potion. In Anita’s office they find a man chained to the wall. Groo’s a little upset and tries to unchain the guy. Angel stops Groo by saying “I think he’s happy there.” Angel pays Anita and gets some last-minute instructions from her. About this time Angel’s cell phone starts ringing. It’s Gunn. He’s under Plumber Park where he found Jerry with a huge tree-like demon with an ISP. Apparently the sentient tree taps into the internet and surfs the “lonely hearts” sites looking for victims, lures them to the tree, sucks them below the roots of the tree, and drains the life out of them. Gunn has called to get some help. Much to Angel’s consternation, Gunn wants *Groo* to come to the rescue.

Angel and Groo hit the sewers to kill the tree demon. Groo is very gung-ho and runs into the roots swinging a sword. Before he can do any real damage the tree shoves one of it’s roots into Groo’s chest and starts to suck the life out of him. Angel arrives in the root chamber and is a little peeved that his shirt has been ruined by the root buried in Groo’s chest. Fred explains that the roots aren’t wood, but chopping at the tree probably won’t do any good because she doesn’t think the tree has any vital organs. Fred thinks the tree uses people like batteries. Gunn says the tree demon’s been getting stronger since feeding on Jerry and starting to feed on Groo. Angel gets an idea and starts to taunt the tree demon. Angel starts to rant and rave: he’s tired of hearing how great Groo is and Angel thinks that he’s smarter, quicker, and stronger than Groo anyway. The tree finally gives up on Groo, takes the root out of Groo’s chest and buries it in Angel’s chest. Bad move. Being a vamp Angel, doesn’t actually have any life force for the tree demon and actually winds up sucking life from the tree. The roots surrounding Gunn and Fred shrivel, Gunn grabs Groo’s/Angel’s sword and plunges it into the face of the tree demon. Groo’s pretty beat up, but he’ll live

Later at the hotel in his office Wes tells Gunn and Fred that their client was very happy that they were able to save her fiancés life. Gunn and Fred turn to leave but Wes asks Gunn to stay for a moment. Gunn obviously looks uncomfortable but he stays. Wes tells Gunn that he should have informed Wes about Gunn’s relationship with Fred. Gunn doesn’t think his relationship with Fred is any of Wes’s business, and Wes sort of agrees. Wes is concerned that Fred could get hurt. Gunn asks if Wes is Fred’s brother and Wes responds, “apparently.” Wes reassures Gunn by telling him that Fred chose but that it’s important to Wes that Fred’s taken care of. Gunn tells Wes that she will be.

In the lobby Cordy is playing nurse again and rips open Groo’s shirt to get at his wound. Angel’s bummed - his shirt is now officially, completely, totally ruined. Groo tries to confess that he screwed up the rescue mission but, before Groo can spill the beans, Angel tells Cordy that Groo was very brave and saved everyone. Groo sets the story straight - he was reckless but Angel kept a clear head and defeated the tree demon. Cordy is really impressed that Groo would give away the credit, completely ignoring the fact that Angel just gave away the credit too. Cordy and Groo make for an exit but Angel stops them. Angel gives Cordy a truly huge amount of money and tells her to take Groo someplace nice for a couple of weeks. Cordy’s a little baffled but agrees.

Lorne, who has apparently been watching Connor, leaves Angel alone in his suite with his son. Angel brings Connor down to the office where Wes is working late. Wes thought he was alone and Angel smiles at Connor as he replies, “yeah, so did I.” Angel leaves Wes alone. Wes looks shell-shocked as he gazes down at some of his translation work and the phrase, “The father will kill the son.”

Summary by Kirsten.

Quotes

Key: A=Angel C=Cordelia G=Gunn W=Wesley F=Fred Gr=Groosalug L=Lorne

A: “I remember him being taller.” L: “A trick of the light. They don’t actually get smaller until they’re very, very old.”

A: “Did he seem, ah, I don’t know, short?” L: “Oh, absolutely. Clearly the guy shrank - all over, probably. Why, he’s nothing but a muscle-y midget. I’m sure once Cordelia gets him home, she’ll just pop him into a smallish drawer, and that will be that.”

A: “She took him home. Well, that’s good. At least we won’t have to put him up here. The place was starting to turn into a hotel.”

A: “There’s nothing between Cordelia and me.” L: “Sure there is. And it got arms like steel cables and a deeply ironic sense of timing.”

Gr: “Endless committees were formed. Committees splintered into factions, the factions into coalitions, the coalitions turned into subcommittees, until finally the more radical element, spurred by a charismatic leader, did the dance of revolution.”

W: “He shouldn’t exist.” A: “His birth was foretold. How many people can say that?”

A: “Can you, uh, ask him not to handle my weapons?”

C: “I couldn’t go through with it.” A: “You couldn’t?” C: “No. Not after seeing that disgusting, spiny thing!” A: “_Spiny_?” C: “Right up in my face! That’s what the visions are like now. No pain, less artsy, sometimes floaty, though not lately, and very often stinky.”

W: “You should have called one of us.” C: “Oh, please! Like I’m gonna bother you guys in the middle of the night because I want sex and can’t have it.”

W: “Oh. Why can’t you have sex?” C: “I could lose my ‘visionity.’” W: “If you wanna play it that way.” C: “*Vision*-ity! The visions.”

C: “I mean, there’s gotta be other things we can do to relieve the tension!” A: “Jogging could be the thing.” W: “Perhaps some form of paranormal prophylactic…” A: “Because, you know, jogging…” C: “I guess we could probably ‘com’ without actually ‘shucking.’” A: “Well, I don’t know. That could be a slippery slope that once you’re on, that you could… slide.”

F: “I’m sorry. I’m being ridiculous, I know. It’s just - I don’t have a lot of experience in this area. I spent the last five years in a cave.” G: “Yeah, I know what that’s like.” F: “How could you?” G: “Because now everything’s so bright my eyes hurt.”

A: “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, me and him. You know, I’m more of a loner. Plus, he’s so - bulky. He could really slow me down!”

Gr: “I shall present this beast’s head to my princess as a token.” A: “Right. ’cause she’ll love that.”

Gr: “It is wounded. It bleeds.” A: “Better than bread crumbs. Let’s go.”

W: Angel… you’re the reason we’ve all come together. It’s your mission which animates us. We each contribute, it’s true, but you… you’re unique. You’re like one of these rare volumes. One of a kind.” Proprietor: “I’ve got three of them.”

C: “Oh, wait. It’s not like your strength is in your hair, or anything like that, right?” Gr: “No. I… believe it is in my muscles.”

F: “Do you really think he’s possessed or under some kind of spell?” G: “Well, it’s hard to say. There’s all different kinds of magic. You’ve got demon-y love spells, mojo sex chants, voodoo bootie rituals…” F: “Voodoo bootie rituals?”

W: “While I do believe having another warrior for good may be an asset in the coming days, Truth is, you and the Groosalug are two totally different… people…” Gr: “Ah, hello.” W: “…who look exactly alike.” A: “He’s wearing my clothes.”

C: “You’ve done so much for me already and… Well, this is just one more thing for the list, I guess.” A: “There is no list. You know that. Just… just tell me what I can do.” C: “I need you to help me have sex… with Groo.”

A: “You want me to get this for you.” C: “I went to my ATM, got cash. Nearly cleaned me out, but I think it’s worth it.” A: “So you and Groo can…” C: “…com-shuck like bunnies. You betcha.”

A: “Brothel.” C: “*You’d* be safe there. No woman’s gonna tempt you, right?” A: “Right.”

F: “There is nothing.” G: “More like a whole lot of nothing. How are we gonna explain this? ‘Sorry, Wes. We lost the dude because we were macking on the job.’” F: “We didn’t lose him so much as… Okay. We lost him.”

Anita: “Oh, I love your outfits.” A: “Well, I really wouldn’t call them ‘outfits.’” Anita: “But you are together.” Gr: “Yes! Two champions here together.” A: “Not ‘together’ together. Just ‘get the potion’ together.” Gr: “So I may com-shuck my princess.” A: “Just to reiterate, *not*… the princess…”

Gr: “Angel, your coat is singing.”

G: “Some root-crazy, tree-like demony thing….” F: “With what looks like a DSL connection.”

A: “That’s my shirt!”

A: “Everyone makes such a big deal about the Groosalug. He’s such a champion. He’s so rugged. He’s so emotionally available. Look at him in the daylight. But you know what? I’m smarter, and I’m stronger, and I pick out my own clothes!”

A: “Well, it’s okay. You know, no one is using my heart at the moment anyway.” Tree Demon: “Kill you.” A: “Sorry. Already dead.”

Tree Demon: “Vampire!” A: “Yeah. Did I mention that?”

W: “Still… She could get hurt. I trust that won’t happen?” G: “What are you, her brother?” W: “Apparently.”

Gr: “No. I was reckless! I put everyone in grave peril. *Angel* is the true champion. He saved us all.” C: “Did you hear that?” A: “Yeah, but….” C: “How many guys would just give away the credit like that? That is just *so* noble. The potion!”

W: “I thought I was alone.” A: “Yeah. [looks at Connor in his arms] So did I.” Please credit Hellmouth Central with these quotes when using them for any publication.