The House Always Wins

Airdate: October 20th, 2002

Special Guest Star: Andy Hallett Guest Starring: Clayton Rohner

Written by: David Fury Directed by: Marita Grabiak

Teaser

From a rooftop, Angel is watching Connor battling a vampire, talking to himself about Connor’s moves. Above them, in the higher planes, Cordy knows that Connor can take care of himself, Angel should be concentration on getting her out of there, Angel almost seems to hear that. In the alley, Connor loses the vampire, Angel drops a piece of masonry in front of the fleeing vamp, distracting it long enough for Connor to stake. When Connor looks up there’s no one there, he walks away. Angel’s still on the roof, just out of sight, and knows that Fred and Gunn have been following him. They’re concerned about him, wondering here he’s been skulking off to these past few nights. Gunn says Angel ought to talk to Connor, if that’s what he wants. At Angel’s hesitation, Fred wonders what he does want, he seems distracted: maybe he’s not as ready as he thought he was to move on without Connor and Cordy. Gunn says to him may act like he’s got a clear agenda, but they don’t know where they’re going. Angel finally says that it’s time they go on a retreat, a spiritual retreat of sorts. They’re going to Vegas.

ACT I

The gang (Angel, Gunn and Fred) arrive in Las Vegas, driving down the strip at night. Angel says that he feels they need to decompress and he hasn’t had a vacation in a while, not counting his recent “ocean cruise.” Fred wants to make sure he sees Lorne so he can have his future read. Angel wants to do a couple of things too, Vegas has changed since he was there with Bugsy Siegel. The place Lorne is singing is the Tropicana, except the Tropicana is a high profile Casino, so that can’t be right. But right there in front of the casino is a giant billboard with Lorne’s very green and horned face on it.

Inside, it’s a lavish and extravagant musical number with Lornettes (scantly clad dancers in green makeup and oversized horns), an orchestra, the works. The audience thinks that the green is all part of the act. He finishes his act and butters up the crowd. His next number is “Lady Marmalade” and has members of the audience sing with him, including Vivian, a woman who just enrolled in a culinary school. He zooms right over the A.I. crew, ignoring them. He wraps up his act.

Backstage, Angel and the gang are waiting with fans as Lorne comes out o sign a few autographs before heading for his dressing room, once again ignoring the A.I. crew. Lorne’s bodyguard wonders who they were, Lorne says they were just some old fans. In his suite, Lorne is visited by the casino manager, pampering Lorne with all the “good things he’s done with the show.” Lorne wants to do this later, and gets punched in the stomach by his bodyguard for his troubles. The Manager gets out the stage floor plan and Lorne start pointing out people’s futures, the good ones (A senator, a Pulitzer Prize winner, a great chef) but doesn’t mention Angel. The Manager leaves, satisfied. He locks Lorne in his suite until the second show.

ACT II

Wesley, in his apartment, is on the phone with Lilah, talking about midnight dinner plans when an associate calls him about taking Angel’s cases while he’s out of town, of course he’ll take them. And while Wesley can’t make it to dinner, though he does get phone sex with Lilah out of it.

At the Tropicana, Angel’s concerned that Lorne hasn’t contacted them by now, Gunn thinks all this celebrity thing has gone to his head, made him forget about the little people. A Lornette comes in and gives Vivian, the future chef, a chip to play in a special promotional game where she could win a million dollar, she jumps at the chance and goes in the back game room. Before the Lornette leaves, Angel gives her a message to give to Lorne. She makes no promises. He walks among the slots, and watches various people, absorbed in their games, almost entranced by them. In the higher plane, Cordy picks up that something’s wrong too, so why can’t Angel’s keen sense or perception pick her up?

At the blackjack table, Fred feels weird about Lorne ignoring them, Gunn still thinks he’s on a star trip, and figures, who needs Lorne anyway? Fred says Angel does and that while it was right to send Connor away with Cordelia gone, the loneliness must be unbearable. Gunn thinks with all Angel has had to deal with over the years, he’ll come out of this fine; in the background, Angel is herded away by security. Fred still wonders about Lorne; Gunn says they should go and find out, besides, he’s out of gaming chips.

Outside, Angel is beaten up by security: they don’t take kindly to stalkers. He vamps out and takes care of them easily; the place was so much friendlier when the mob ran it. He then rescues Vivian in the parking lot from being hit by a cab. She’s in a daze, ran out of quarters and needed more; she has to play to win.

Noticing the amount of security around Lorne’s suite, Gunn and Fred start suspecting there’s something not quite right with the picture. They see a Lornette coming out of a dressing room and a bit alter, Fred’s dressed and made up like them, with a martini glass on a tray. She gets though security fairly easily and goes in Lorne’s suite alone. Lorne is so happy to see her; he thinks she came to rescue him. Fred tells him they didn’t know he needed rescuing. But he told her, every time she called, he asked about Fluffy, Fluffy being a pop culture reference to a nonexistent dog meaning “I’m being held prisoner, send help!” The Casino/Hotel Manager, Lee DeMarco, is the one holding him prisoner. A former two-bit lounge magician who got his hands on something mystical and now he’s a psycho wand using Lorne to destroy people’s lives. In the “Spin to Win” room, Angel’s forced his way in. DeMarco lets him in, throws a chip at him, Angel randomly tosses it on the board: he’s not here to play games, he’s here about a girl that came here (in the meantime the chip goes on to an empty spot on the gaming table). DeMarco assures him he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Angel starts threatening him when the wheel stops: house wins! That stops Angel and the gaming chips are collected. DeMarco hands everyone some quarters to play at the slots, Angel in a trance-like state thanks him.

ACT III

Fred gives to the guards some cock-and-bull story about Lorne escaping down the toilet, they fall for it. they go in, Lorne comes out in a trench coat and fedora, and Gunn helps them lock the door. They flee, Fred taking off her horns.

In the destinies trading room, DeMarco’s just gotten back Angel’s identity, including the part about him playing a major part in the apocalypse. DeMarco has the brokers get the word out and a call placed to Wolfram & Hart.

Gunn, Fred (still in the dress but without makeup) and Lorne find Angel at the slot machines. Guards are coming and Gunn asks Angel to hold them off and grabs his car keys. Angel switches slot machines while the trio runs. But they reach the wrong exit: they’re on Glitter Gulch, an outdoor mall with Viva Las Vegas blaring in the background. They try to make a discreet exit, Lorne explains how DeMarco was using him to read members of his audience for “valuable destinies”: power, wealth, etc. The ones he picked got chose to play the “Spin to Win” game, their destinies imprinted on the gaming chips and the black magic wheel tricked to never pay off. And the futures are traded on a black market, to anyone wanting to change his/her life. And the people’s whose destinies are taken have no purpose or direction and are unable to ever succeed at anything again. Most stick at the slot machines, some never even leave the casino, like Angel. Gunn realizes that they got to him, but now the guards have spotted them. Lorne takes a nearby microphone and hits a high note: everybody squirms, lights bursts, creating a panic. They’re able to escape in it. they run to the car, but Gunn is pissed off at Lorne on how he sold Angel out: he wants to know why Lorne never said no, was he so bathed in luxury that he couldn’t hear his conscience screaming? Lorne says of course he refused, so DeMarco blew a girl’s brains out right in front of him: that’s what he could except each time he said no. Gunn’s sorry, no more than Lorne though. A bit later they drive back to the Casino main entrance. Gunn is going to find Angel and then they’re going to drive out. Fred, says they can’t leave without Angel’s destiny, Lorne reminds her that when you lose in Vegas, you don’t get it back.

Gunn finds Angel, still at the slots, absorbed in his game. Gunn explains that they hijacked his destiny, and they have to leave, Angel doesn’t want to. But the security guards arrive, with Fred and Lorne: they’re not leaving. They take them away, Ignore Angel who resumes his game.

ACT IV The destinies trading room. DeMarco was so worried about Lorne, and the inconvenience of cancelling the second show. Lorne says he gives up, he’ll be his monkey, but DeMarco will get nothing out of him if he hurts anybody else. DeMarco says Lorne will be the only one hurting, his friends will be dead so quick they won’t feel a thing.

Cordy, on the higher plane is exasperated: what’s the point of being an all-powerful being if she can’t intervene. Her friends are going to die. She sees the purposeless Angel at the slots, and manages to influence the outcome of the game. Angel wins with his last quarter, drawing people around him.

DeMarco has Gunn and Fred take to the desert to be executed and to have Lorne brought to watch when Spencer, his head minion, says they have a winner. The security camera is focused on Angel. DeMarco is baffled, it’s impossible, bur Angel’s won $300 000 and a car. A good haul for someone with no destiny. DeMarco has Angel brought in. He wants answers, and if they’re not the right ones, he’s dead. Angel knows the room, Spencer punches him, DeMarco wants to know how he’s won. Angel says that he put a quarter in the slot and then pulled the lever. He wonders if Angel’s playing games with him, Angel says he has to play to win. DeMarco sees there’s nothing there, he has the winnings given to Angel in quarters and send the others on their ways. Gunn and Fred try to defend themselves, Gunn is punched and Fred has a gun pointed at her head. Angel watches all of this and vamps out. He attacks the guards, Gunn and Fred follow suit. Angel lifts a guard who accidentally shoots Spencer. Lorne grabs a nightstick and heads for the Futures’ Sphere in the centre of the room. DeMarco runs in front of it, maybe they can cut a deal, Lorne doesn’t hear of it and breaks the sphere. The futures return to their rightful owners (incidentally scorching DeMarco), including Vivian at the slots and Angel. Angel still feels there’s something familiar about the room but assures his friends that he’s back. In the lobby he remembers: it was Elvis and Priscilla’s wedding reception in 1967, he was a drunk and surly party crasher and they thought he was in the band.

Los Angeles. The gang return to the hotel, no more road trips for them. Angel still wonders how he won, a glitch, lady luck? And he just doesn’t know why he fought when he had no reason or destiny. Lorne says he was fighting for his friends’ future: the people he cares about are his destiny. Angel, Fred and Gunn enter the lobby and Cordy’s there, in her white robes from when she left. She asks them who they are.

Summary by Dannyboy

Quotes

Key: A=Angel C=Cordelia W=Wesley G=Gunn F=Fred L=Lorne Cn=Connor DM=Lee DeMarco

Vamp: “Nothing human can move that fast. What are you?” Cn: “Don’t know yet. But I know what you are… and what to do with you.”

C: “Of course he can do it. He’s his father’s son. Same dark good looks, same Lost-Boy sweetness. And the broodiness, boy, he’s got that down stone cold!”

C: “Remember me? The one stuck in Misty-Magic Land for, like, _eternity_?”

A: “I know you’re there. Watching me.” C: “Oh my god, Angel! You can hear me? I *so* love you! You don’t know what it’s been like…!” F: “We weren’t spying…” C: “Oh, for crap’s sake!”

G: “Frankly, man, when your head’s someplace else, we are into some serious floundering. I mean, you act like a guy with a clear agenda, always on the move. But _we_ don’t know where we’re going.” A: “Come on.” G: “For instance.”

G: “Now _this_ is my kind of spiritual retreat.” A: “I just thought we could all use a little get-away to decompress. I know I haven’t had a vacation in a while. Not counting my recent ocean cruise.”

F: “You mean after Lorne reads you, to get you back on your path? A: “Yeah, whatever.”

A: “Used to be dunes over there.” G: “Oh man, it has been a while! They tore down the Dunes 10 years ago.” A: “Not the casino, I mean actual sand dunes.”

G: “No one seems to be bothered by the fact that he’s a demon.” F: “They must think it’s all makeup, like The Blue Man Group! You don’t think The Blue Man Group…” A: “Only two of ’em.”

F: “Here he comes. He’s gonna plotz when he sees us!” G: “Oh, un-uh! He better not stick that damned mic in my face!” F: “Oh come on, Charles. It’s all in fun. Besides, you have a nice voice.” G: “Yeah, you do it if you want, but I’m not in the mood to…” A: “He’s gone.” G: “Huh? What?” F: “He just went right by!” G: “…oh…well, good.”

L: “Well, you’re just a Tickle-Me Cutie! What’s your name, Peach Pie?”

F: “That was just… *Wow*! Wasn’t it? I mean: the laser lights, those Lornette girls, and, hello! 30-piece orchestra!” G: “Yeah, but I still don’t know why he dissed us during the sing-along. It’s just nice to be asked, is all!”

G: “Hold up! You knew the Rat Pack?” A: “*Know* ’em?… No. I met ’em. Once. Twice. For drinks. Maybe it was three times… Hey, you know I did have a life before you guys came along.”

F: “Lorne! Lorne it’s us!” L: *to the crowd* “Hey, love ya!” F: “We love you t–! Wait, that was him being superficial, wasn’t it?”

Bruiser1: “Who’re your friends?” L: “What friends? Ah, they’re just some old fans of mine.”

DM: “I think _now_ is a good time. Or should we pink-slip another girl from your act?”

W: “Sorry to disappoint, Lilah, but I am _not_ waiting at the door with a scowl and burnt pot-roast.”

W: “Well, if your lot can have the world destroyed by midnight we could still….”

W: “Yes, we’ll bloody well take Angel’s clients if he’s out of town. “

W: “Take them off. (Why are you still here?) No, not after your meeting. Now. Pretend you’ve dropped your pencil. Very good. Now….”

G: “If it’ll make my honey feel better, put her mind at ease, my fun can wait.” F: “It’s because you’re out of chips, isn’t it? G “Yeah.”

Guard: “We don’t cotton to stalkers around here, freak. Don’t even think about coming back to this casino, because we’re going to remember your… *Angel vamps out* …face?” A: “Let me give you a few more things to remember me by.”

A: “This place was so much friendlier when the Mob ran it.”

G: “Damn! Heads of state don’t get this much security. Something’s starting to feel a lot not-right about this.” F: “That’s what I’ve been saying. Only with better grammar.”

Bruiser2: “Oh, I get it. It’s a little pre-show diddle for the green guy, right? F: “What? …Diddle? …I’m what…?” Bruiser2: “Oh, don’t be nervous. The demon doesn’t bite. …Not with his mouth, anyway!”

L: “Oh, I’m sorry, Peach Pie. I thought that you just might have been…” F: “Your diddle-buddy?” L: “My whattle-what?”

L: “Every time you called me I kept asking about Fluffy!” F: “Oh. I thought you were just using some show-business catch-phrase I wasn’t hip enough to get. Who’s Fluffy?” L: “Fluffy! Fluffy the dog! The dog you don’t have! The universally-recognized code for ‘I’m being held prisoner, send help!’?” F: “Oh, o.k. I’m hip now.”

F: “Oh my god! It was horrible! He attacked me with these… um… laser beams that, that shot out of his horns! And he escaped! He’s *gone*!” Bruiser2: “There’s no other way out.” F: “Right! No! Cuz! Cuz he went though some kind of demon metamorphosis thing, and he spit out his entire skeleton, like, like *bleeeegh*! Like that! And… and then he just slithered away! Down the drain! In the sink! In the bathroom! *Hurry*!” Bruiser2: “Security One, we have a Code Green! Repeat: Code Green!”

[Seen on destiny wall ticker]: “…DEAL WITH DISNEY TO RUN NEW ABC SERIES…”

Aide: “Among other things, he’s positioned to be a major player in the apocalypse.” DM: “_Was_, you mean? Have our brokers get the word out on this, and, uh, you might want to put a call in to that weirdo law firm in L.A.”

G: “Angel! Where have you been?” A: “Here. I was there before, but now I’m here.”

L: “The house always wins, and everybody loses. Their futures, their destinies. They get offered up to an extremely black global market, and sold to anyone willing to spend big money to change his or her life.” F: “Futures trading.” L: “Can’t get any more literal than that, Crumbcake.”

L: “Some never even get out of the casino! They just sit there shoveling coins into slot machines that never pay off, like zombies or…” G: “Angel.”

F: “What now?” G: “Now we do that fighting-for-our-lives thing we do.”

F: “That was brilliant, Lorne. I may never hear my upper registers again, but nice work.”

G: “I want to know, Lorne: Why didn’t you just say ‘No’ to that piece of sh…” L: “I did! The first time he asked me to, of course I refused! So he blew a girl’s brains out right in front of me. And he said that’s what I could expect every time I said ‘No’.” G: “I’m sorry.” L: “No more than I am, Slick.”

F: “But what about his destiny? Angel’s? We can’t leave without getting it back.” L: “Yeah, well. This is Vegas, Sunshine. Generally, you lose here, you don’t get it back.”

G: “Angel! You know who I am, right?” A: “Gunn.” G: “That’s right, and I’m your friend.” A: “I know. I’m not _stupid_!”

A: “I got two cherries. If I get another one I get my quarter back.”

G: “There’s been a casino heist, only you’re the heist-ee. They jacked your destiny!”

L: “Yeah, yeah, O.K., Lee. White flag’s up. You got me. Grind your organ, I’ll be your monkey. But you get _nothing_ from me if you hurt anyone else. I swear it.” DM: “Lorne, sweetie, you worry too much! I promise, you will be the only one hurting. Your friends will be dead so quick they won’t feel a thing.”

C: “Oh, that’s just great! I mean, what’s the point of being an All-Seeing, Powerful Whatchamwhoozit if I’m not allowed to intervene?”

C: “Think, Bubblehead!”

A: “I know this room.”

DM: “What am I _paying_ you people for? *Shoot* them!”

DM: “We can still come to terms, right, kid? It wasn’t all bad here, I mean, not all the time! What’s it gonna take? Bigger suite? Fewer shows? You got it! Whaddya say?” L: “Duck.”

A: “This room, there’s _something_ familiar.”

G: “Angel?” A: “You’re my friend, I know. I’m not stupid.”

A: “Oh, now I remember that room! Elvis and Pricilla’s wedding reception, 1967! Yes! All right, it’s not like I was, you know, really invited. They just put me near the dais. I think somebody thought I was in the band. Probably because I was all drunk and surly. They had these little fried peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches….”

L: “Maybe Lady Luck was smiling down on you.”

A: “I don’t get why or how I was able to fight when I had no reason to. No destiny.” L: “Oh, well, even without a flight plan, Bucko, you’re still a stealth bomber. You were fighting for your friends’ futures. The people you love are a part of your destiny. Nobody can take that away, not even you. Now, listen: I’ve got a lot more insightful bon mots like that, but I’ve been stuck in a car for 5 hours and I gotta pee.”

A: “Cordelia?” C: “Who are you people?”

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