I, Robot... You, Jane
Written by: Ashley Gable & Thomas A. Swyden Directed by: Stephen Posey
Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles.
Guest stars : Robia LaMorte as Jenny Calendar, Mark Deakins as Moloch the Corruptor, Pierrino Mascarino as Thelonius, Chad Lindberg as Dave, Jamison Ryan as Fritz.
Original broadcast date : April 28, 1997
End of the 15th century. A young Italian approaches a horned demon, who smiles at him, promises him riches, then breaks his neck. Cut to a group of monks, busy performing a spell that will trap the demon Moloch the Corruptor forever. Moloch senses this and tries to stop them, but he is too late. He is sucked in a book, transformed into words that gradually fill its pages.
Sunnydale school library. Buffy opens a crate, takes out a book, and puts it on a pile beside Willow, who is busy scanning the library¹s new arrivals with the help of two students, Fritz and Dave. Meanwhile, the computer science teacher, Ms. Calendar, is criticizing Giles about his fear of modern technology. As Willow absently scans the book Buffy has just put on top of the pile, the characters disappear from the pages. When she looks away, words appear on the screen: “Where am I?”
During the following week, as Willow starts an online romance with a guy called Malcolm, Ms. Calendar finds the ancient book and asks Giles about its blank pages. Giles notices the horned demon on the cover depicted on the cover and suspects trouble.
Worried about Willow getting hurt in her online romance, Buffy asks Dave, the computer geek, to get some info on this Malcolm, but Dave refuses. Instead, he gets Buffy to look for Willow in the girls’ locker room. There, she falls into a trap, set by the other computer geek, Fritz, that very nearly electrocutes her, leaving the soles of her shoes smoldering. This attempt on Buffy¹s life shakes up Dave, who goes to the computer room and tells what we suspect to be Malcolm that he won¹t do his dirty work anymore. But the computer simply talks and writes up a suicide note, while Fritz looms behind, ready to kill Dave.
In the library, Giles is explaining to Buffy and Xander that Willow, by scanning a specific book, has released a demon that was trapped in it since the Middle Ages. This particular demon, Moloch, preys on impressionable minds; and since he was released unto the Internet, he has access to any computer in the world.
Buffy goes back to the computer lab, hoping to find Willow; instead, she finds Dave¹s corpse hanging from the ceiling, the suicide note pinned to it. Sensing danger, she and Xander rush to Willow¹s house, but they¹re too late: Fritz has been there, and has chloroformed and kidnapped Willow. He brings her to a warehouse, where Moloch has had a robotic body built for himself, horns and all. He kills Fritz and prepares to do the same with Willow when she announces she won¹t follow him.
As Xander and Buffy make their way through the warehouse, Giles and Ms. Calendar who happens to have a knack for the occult attempt to repeat via an Internet link the spell that will bind Moloch. The spell works and disconnects Moloch from the net, leaving him with only his robotic body. Infuriated, he attacks Buffy, but Willow further slows his down by courageously pouncing him with a fire extinguisher. She is thrown aside, but Buffy, strategically placing herself underneath a high-voltage box, taunts him, and he takes the bait. He lunches at her, lands his fist in the box, and is jolted until his robotic body flies apart.
On a bench in front of the school, Xander, Willow and Buffy laugh the incident away, citing Xander¹s praying mantis and Buffy¹s vampire boyfriend as examples that they¹ll never have a normal relationship in Sunnydale. Suddenly, they sober up as they contemplate their bleak romantic future
Summary by OttsFiveByFive.
Episode Ratings
Mac - “One of the dumbest and most asinine episodes of all-time.”
DJ Angelus -
“A Willow centeric episode. I was all for it. De,om om the imtermet. I loved it. Listen to the end carfully Joss forshadows how all relationships on the Hellmouth will go.”
Quotes
Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, JC=Jenny Calendar
JC: I know our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!
JC: The idiot box is TV. This is the good box. G: Well, I still prefer a good book.
JC: Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people.
G: That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror.
G: I’ll be back in the middle ages. JC: Did you ever leave?
B: Okay, you have a secret, and that’s *not* allowed. W: Why not? B: ’Cause… there’s a rule.
B: You are a thing of evil for not telling me this right away.
B: So, you’ve been seeing a guy, but you don’t know what he looks like. Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I’m good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?
B: What if you guys get really, really intense, and then you find out he has a hairy back. W: Well no, he doesn’t talk like someone who would have a hairy back.
JC: Will I be excited? F: You’ll die.
X: Oh, I can’t fool you. You see right through my petty charade.
X: You’re going to be missing out. I’m planning to be witty. I’m going to make fun of all of the people who won’t talk to me. W: that’s nice. Have a good time.
B: She certainly looks perky. X: Color in the cheeks, bounce in the step. I don’t like it. It’s not healthy.
X: People meet on the net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show… horrible ax murder. B: Willow, ax murdered by a circus freak!
B: We are totally overreacting. X: But it’s fun, isn’t it?
W: You’re having an expression.
B: He’s boyfriendly?
B: Wow, I had knowledge!
G: Those boys aren’t sparklingly normal as it is.
G: Things involving the computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such, I’d be more in my element.
X: What, I can’t have information sometimes? G: It’s just somewhat unprecedented.
B: My spider sense is tingling. G: Your… spider sense? B: Pop-culture reference. Sorry.
B: Breaking in. Then this is the plan. X: I’m free tonight. G: A moment, please, of quiet relection…
JC: You’re here again? You kids really dig the library, don’t you? B: We’re literary. X: To read makes our speaking English good.
JC: Well, I think you’ll be very happy here, with your musty old books. G: These musty old books have a great deal more to say than any of your fabulous web pages.
G: Well, it’s been so nice talking to you. JC: We were fighting. G: Must do it again sometime. Bye now.
B: Tell me the truth. How’s my hair? X: It’s great. It’s your best hair ever.
G: Does this look familiar to either of you? B: Yeah, sure. It looks like a book. X: I knew that one.
X: You released Moloch?! B: Way to go!
B: He’s gone binary on us.
X: Okay, for those in our studio audience who are me…
B: So much for “delete file.”
B: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing. G: Right, yours was best.
JC: Wrong and wrong, snobby.
B: Here’s a tip : hurry!
JC: The first thing we do is form the circle of Kayless, right? G: Form a circle? But there’s only two of us. That’s really more of a line.
G: “By the power of the circle of Kayless, I command you!” It’s Kayless, with a “K”.
X: Hey, I got to hit someone!
W: Malcolm, remember me, your girlfriend? *clang!* I think it’s time we break up. *clang!* But maybe we can still be friends. *clang!*
G: If it’s to last, then the getting of knowledge should be tangible. It should be, um, smelly.
W: The one boy that’s really liked me, and he’s a demon robot. What does that say about me? B: The one boy I’ve had the hots for since I moved here, turned out to be a vampire. X: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on: giant preying mantis. W: That’s true. X: Yeah, it’s life on the Hellmouth. B: Face it, none of us are ever going to have a healthy, normal relationship. X: We’re doomed. *laughs* *staring depressed looks all around*