Lie to Me

Written and Directed by: Joss Whedon

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles, and David Boreanaz as Angel.

Guest stars : Robia LaMorte as Jenny Calendar, James Marsters as Spike, Jason Behr as Billy Fordham, and Juliet Landau as Druscilla.

Original broadcast date: Nov. 3, 1997

Sunnydale playground at night. It is deserted apart from one small boy who is waiting for his mother ­ she is late. Druscilla appears, and offers to walk him home, but he declines. She asks what his mother will do when she finds his body, but Angel intervenes and tells the boy to run home! Dru seems pleased to see him, but he asks her to take Spike and leave. She leans in close as she replies. Buffy is patrolling a rooftop that overlooks the park, and from where the Slayer is standing it looks like the two vamps are kissing.

At school the next day, Jenny invites Giles on a date the following evening. Their destination is a secret, and Giles is intrigued. As Buffy seems down, and things have been quiet, he tells her to take tonight off.

In class, Willow and Buffy pass notes about Angel and Dru. Buffy doesn¹t know who she was, or if she¹s a vamp. Xander tries to cheer her up after the lesson by suggesting a night out at the Bronze. Just then a boy from Buffy¹s old school, Hemmery High, introduces himself. Buffy is thrilled to see him! She had a major crush on Billy Fordham when she was younger, and is happy when he tells her that he has transferred to Sunnydale High. To Xander¹s irritation, she invites him to join them at the Bronze.

At the Bronze, Buffy goes to get a soda while Ford and Xander play pool. She meets Angel at the bar, and asks what he did last night. He lies. He tells her that he stayed in and read a book. Knowing it is not the truth, she leaves with Ford.

Outside the Bronze, Buffy hears someone scream. She tells Ford she forgot her purse, and sends him back inside to get it. He pretends to go back, but follows her, and sees her dust a vamp. Ford tells her that it¹s okay ­ he knows she¹s the Slayer!

Later that night, Buffy talks on the phone to Willow. She says she is pleased that he knows, because now she doesn¹t have to worry about him finding out.

Ford knocks on the door of an old bomb shelter, and is admitted. Inside, a party is underway. A guy dressed in a ridiculous vamp costume asks him if everything is going to plan. He also mentions that he wants to be called ŒDiego¹ from now on. He is a major dork! Ford says that in two more days they will all get the chance to die young, and stay prettyŠ

Angel arrives outside Willow¹s window as she is getting ready for bed. She invites him in, and he asks her to check Billy out on the net. He admits to being jealous, but says it is more than that. Something feels wrong. Willow finds out that Ford hasn¹t registered at Sunnydale High ­ he lied! Angel asks her not to tell Buffy until they know what¹s going on.

At school the next day, Buffy and Ford invite Willow to join them. She gets really jumpy, and excuses herself, but Buffy puts it down to too much coffee. Giles gives Buffy the number of Jenny¹s beeper incase he¹s needed, and is shocked when he finds out that Ford knows about her.

Buffy and Ford spot two vampires as they walk through the school grounds that evening. The Slayer knocks the female one to the ground, and Ford holds it there with a cross while she chases the other. He tells the vamp she can go if she answers a question. Buffy stakes the second vamp, and returns to find Billy alone. He tells her he dusted the female vamp himself.

Angel, Willow and Xander arrive at the Sunset Club ­ the abandoned bomb shelter Ford was at last night. It¹s the only address that Willow¹s been able to trace. They say they are friends of Ford, and are let in. The people inside are a cult that worships vampires. A girl named Chantarelle argues with Angel about vampires. She believes that they are Œhigher beings¹ who are simply misunderstood.

Buffy enters the library with Jenny and Giles. She has called them back from their date because of the two vamps she saw on campus. What did they want? Giles is quite please to have been beeped, as Jenny had taken him to a monster truck rally! Buffy finds a photo of Dru in one of Giles¹s books, and asks who it is. He tells her that she used to be Spike¹s girlfriend, but was killed by a mob in Prague. He is horrified to learn that she is actually alive and in town! As he heads toward his office, a vampire runs out with a book it has stolen. It knocks him down and escapes. Buffy recognizes the vamp as the one Ford said he killedŠ

The vampire takes the stolen book to Spike, who is very pleased. Ford turns up, and offers him a deal. If Spike will make him a vampire, Billy will deliver the Slayer!

Angel goes to see Buffy, and tells her that he and the scoobies have been checking on Ford. She gets angry, and before he can finish she asks about Dru. Angel is reluctant to tell her, because Druscilla was Œthe worst thing¹ he ever did. He tells her that she was an obsession of his, because she was so pure and so chaste. He made her insane by killing everyone she loved, and then made her a vampire when she finally fled to a convent. Having truthfully answered her question, he tells her about Ford.

At school the next morning, Ford asks Buffy if she will go out with him that night. She agrees. Later, she catches up with Willow and Xander, and tells them that Angel has explained.

Back at the Sunset Club, Ford pours a goblet of wine for Chantarelle. He has told the group that they will be made vampires tonight. Buffy walks in, saying she couldn¹t wait until tonight. Ford gets Diego to shut the door behind her. He tells her about the trade he made with Spike, and says that the place has been rigged. The door can only be opened from the outside. She is now stuck there Œtil nightfallŠ

Buffy tries to warn the group that the vampires will simply kill them, but the cult are totally brainwashed and will not listen. The alarm on Ford¹s watch goes off ­ it is sunset!

Spike and Dru lead their gang of vamps from the lairŠ

Ford takes Buffy aside and explains that he¹s dying from a brain tumour. He admits that the rest of the group are just fodder, but doesn¹t care as long as he becomes a vamp! They hear Spike¹s car screech to a halt outside, and Buffy pleads with the others to listen. Ford punches her in the face, and she falls down the stairs.

The vamps burst in and start feeding! Ford tries to hit Buffy with a crowbar, but she smacks him against the wall and he gets knocks out. She grabs Druscilla, and holds a stake to her chest, telling Spike to let everyone go. He does so, and Buffy releases Dru. She runs out and slams the door, trapping the vamps inside. Ford wakes up and asks for his reward. After all, he did deliver.

Buffy returns the next day to find the door broken open. Ford¹s dead body is lying on the floor.

The cemetery at night. Giles watches as Buffy lays roses on Billy¹s grave. He rises as a vamp, and without hesitation she stakes him.

Episode Ratings

Mac - “I like the whole idea of a dying young man wanting to live forever, but the episode in itself was average at best.”

DJ Angelus -

“Vamp Cult.. I liked the message and the humor.”

Quotes

Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, A=Angel, JC=Jenny Calendar, S=Spike, D=Druscilla, F=Billy Fordham

D: My mummy used to sing me to sleep at night. “Run and catch, The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch.” She had the sweetest voice. What will your mummy sing when they find your body?

JC: It’s a secret. G: What kind of secret? JC: The kind that’s secret. You know, where I don’t actually tell you what it is?

G: I think it’s customary that when two people are going out of an evening that they both have an idea of where they’re going.

G: How will I know what to wear? JC: Do you own anything else? G: Well, not as such, no.

G: All right, all right, I put myself in your hands. JC: That sounds like fun.

B: Willow, do we have to be in total share mode?

X: If Angel’s doing something wrong, I want to know. ’Cause it gives me a happy. B: I’m glad someone has a happy.

X: No, you just need cheering up, and I know just the thing. Crazed dance party at the Bronze. B: I don’t know. X: Very calm dance party at the Bronze? Moping at the Bronze. F: I’d suggest a box of oreos dunked in apple juice, but maybe she’s over that phase.

F: Well, I was a manly sixth grader. Couldn’t be bothered with someone that young. B: It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song, “I Touch Myself.” Of course, I had no idea what it was about.

F: But, if you guys already have plans, would I be imposing? X: Nah, only in the literal sense. F: Ok, then.

X: “This is Ford, my bestest friend of all my friends.” Geeze, doesn’t she know any fat guys? W: Oh, *that’s* what that song is about?

W: Buffy, Ford was just telling us about the ninth grade beauty contest, and the, uh, swimsuit contest? B: Oh my god, Ford, stop that. The more people you tell, the more people I have to kill. F: You can’t touch me, Summers. I know all your darkest secrets. X: Care to make a small wager on that?

W: That’s Angel. X: He’s Buffy’s beau. Her special friend. F: He’s not in school, right? He looks older than her. X: You’re not wrong.

B: So, what did you do last night? A: Nothing. B: Nothing at all? You ceased to exist?

F: Whoa! Cold hands. X: You’re not wrong.

X: Ok, once more with tension.

A: He just moved here? X: Yeah. And boy, does he move fast.

W: See, you made him do that thing where he’s gone.

F: So, that was your boyfriend? B: No. Uh, yes. Maybe. Could we lay off the tough questions for a while?

F: What’s going on? B: Um, there was a cat. A cat here… and then there was another cat. And they fought. The cats. And… then they left. F: Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire. B: What? Whating a what?

F: A couple more days, and we’ll get to do the two things every American teen should have the chance to do. Die young, and stay pretty.

W: I’m not supposed to have boys in my room. A: I promise to behave myself. W: Ok. Good.

A: I guess I need help. W: Help? You mean like on homework? No, ’cause you’re old, and you already know stuff. A: I want you to track someone down… on the net. W: Oh! Great, I’m so the net girl.

W: Uh, Angel, if I say something you really don’t want to hear, do you promise not to bite me?

A: Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty. Really honed my brooding skills.

A: Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people, and my gut tells me this is the wrong guy. W: Okay. But if there isn’t anything weird…. Hey, that’s weird.

W: You want me to lie to her? It’s *Buffy*.

B: Ok, Will, ’fess up. W: What?! B: Were you drinking coffee again? ’Cause we’ve talked about this. W: Ha, ha, ha! It makes me jumpy. I… have to go. Away. F: Nice girl. B: There aren’t two of those in the world.

G: Ms. Calendar and I are going… somewhere tonight. And she’s given me the number of her beeper thingie, uh, in case you need me, for, um, study help, uh, suddenly.

X: Yeah, I’m gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one. A: Could you not call me that?

W: Boy, we blend right in. X: In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs.

X: Sure thing, bossy the cow.

W: Ok, but do they really stick out? X: What? W: Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, “wow, that baby is sore”? X: You have way too many thoughts.

X: Are you noticing a theme here? W: As in, “vampires, yay!”? X: That’s the one.

A: You’re a fool. X: You really are a people person. W: Now nobody’s gonna talk to us.

B: Sorry to beep you guys in the middle of… stuff. But it seemed really weird. G: No. You did the right thing. Absolutely. JC: You hated it that much? G: No, I’ve always been interested in… monster trucks. B: You took him to monster trucks? JC: I thought it would be a change. G: It was a change.

G: She was killed by an angry mob in Prague. B: Well, they don’t make angry mobs like they used to, ’cause this girl’s alive.

G: A book. It took one of my books! JC: Well, at least someone in this school is reading.

S: You’ve got a real death wish. It’s almost interesting.

F: I want to be like you. A vampire. S: I’ve known you for two minutes, and I can’t stand you. I don’t really feature you livin’ forever…. Can I eat him now, love?

A: Buffy, may I come in? B: Sure. I thought once you’ve been invited you could always just walk in. A: I can. I was just being polite.

X: Angel was in your bedroom?! W: Ours is a forbidden love.

B: You are playing in some serious traffic here. Do you understand that? You’re going to die. And the only hope you have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now, and my god, could you *have* a dorkier outfit? F: I’ve got to back her up, D. You look like a big ninny.

S: First priority is the Slayer, everything else is fair game, and let’s remember to share, people. Are you sure you’re up for this? D: I want a treat. I need a treat.

B: I’ve got a news flash for you, braintrust.

B: This is not the mothership, people!

B: You let everybody out, or your girlfriend fits in an ashtray.

S: Uh, where’s the doorknob?

F: What happened? S: We’re stuck in the basement. F: Buffy? S: She’s *not* stuck in the basement.

B: It’s just that the more I know, the more confused I get. G: I believe that’s called growing up. B: I’d like to stop then, okay?

B: Does it get easier? G: What do you want me to say? B: Lie to me. G: Yes, it’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats. We always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after. B: Liar.