What's My Line? (Part 1)

Written by: Howard Gordon & Marti Noxon Directed by: David Solomon

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles, and David Boreanaz as Angel.

Guest stars : Seth Green as Oz, James Marsters as Spike, Juliet Landau as Druscilla, Armin Shimerman as Principal Snyder, and Bianca Lawson as Kendra.

Original broadcast date: Nov. 17, 1997.

Sunnydale High School. Willow comes over to join Buffy and Xander, who are completing their Œcareer aptitude¹ tests. Buffy says she wouldn¹t have bothered, only Principal Snyder insisted. She already knows her destiny.

In Spike¹s lair, Druscilla deals tarot cards, while Dalton tries to transcribe the text that was stolen from Giles at the library. He is having trouble with it, and Spike loses patience. It is supposed to reveal the way to return Dru to full strength. She reads in the cards that it¹s written in code, and tells Spike that the key to decipher it is hidden in a mausoleum somewhere in SunnydaleŠ

That night, while on patrol, Buffy comes across Dalton stealing something from a mausoleum. She waits outside for him, but is attacked by another vamp. By the time she has managed to dust him, Dalton has fled.

She goes home to find Angel in her room, and bites his head off because she¹s in a bad mood. Apologizing, Buffy explains about the career week at school. She knows that she has no future, and just wants a normal life. Angel picks up a photo of her ice skating when she was five. She tells him she loved to skate, but hasn¹t done so in years. Angel offers to take her tomorrow night. He knows a rink that¹s closed every TuesdayŠ

At school the next morning, the results of the tests are posted. Cordy has been listed as a personal shopper or motivational speaker, and laughs when she sees what career choice Xander has been given. Willow and Buffy discuss her impending date with Angel. Xander comes over all upset because his test result says Œprison guard¹. When Buffy laughs, he informs her that hers says Œpolice¹. Sulking, she goes off to meet Giles. Willow asks Xander what seminar she is attending, but he tells her that her name wasn¹t listed.

Buffy meets Giles in the library and tells him about the vamps last night. He criticizes her for not trying to discover what they were stealing. She sarcastically says Œsomething old¹, and reminds him that she didn¹t ask for this job. She is going to be the Slayer until she dies ­ she has no choice.

Druscilla and Spike look at the large, gold cross that Dalton has stolen. With it he will able to decipher the text. Dalton tells Spike that the Slayer almost spoiled the plan again, and Spike says he is going to hire the Order of Taraka. Dalton asks if this is overkill, but Spike says it¹s just kill enough!

The school careers fair. Snyder is looking for Buffy, and is annoyed when Wil and Xander can¹t help. Xander goes of to his lecture on being a prison guard, and Willow is approached by two men in suits. They take her to a curtained off area where she is offered canapes. She is told that she has been selected to meet with Mr McCarthy ­ the head recruiter for a leading software company. Only one other student has managed to meet their requirements. It is Oz! The men leave them alone.

Buffy and Giles are walking through the cemetery to the mausoleum. He asks if she¹s considered a career in law-enforcement, and she gets mad. They reach their destination, and Giles discovers that it is a reliquary (a place that is used to house relics of religious significance). It contains the body of Josephus Du Lac, leader of a sect that was excommunicated. He recalls that the book that was stolen was also written by Du Lac. It was said to contain dark magic, but couldn¹t be translated as it was written in code. They realize that whatever the vamps took probably breaks that code.

At Sunnydale bus depot, a leather-clad man disembarks from a bus. He wears steel toed boots, and is missing an eyeŠ

A salesman knocks on the door of the house opposite Buffy¹s. He introduces himself as Norman Pfister with Blush Beautiful Cosmetics. The woman invites him in when he offers free samples, but screams as soon as the door is closed behind him!

A plane lands at Sunnydale airport, and one of the baggage handlers finds a stowaway. The strikingly beautiful Caribbean girl knocks him out with a kick, and sneaks off the plane.

In the library Giles is telling the scoobies about the ŒDu Lac Cross¹. Several were created as decoders, but all were destroyed except the one buried with Josephus. Giles decides that they have to discover what was in the book. It¹s imperative that they know what the vamps are up to. Remembering her date with Angel, Buffy backs out of the research evening. She says that she¹s not much good at research anyway.

Buffy skates gracefully around the ice rink, not noticing the one-eyed man from the bus as he comes in. The bounty hunter attacks her, pulling her from the ice and trying to choke her. Angel runs over and pulls him off, but the man seems too strong for the vampire. He takes Angel by the neck, and lifts him off his feet. Buffy grabs some netting and uses it to swing her legs high. The blades from her skates slit the man¹s throat, and he hits the ice, dead.

Druscilla has three tarot cards in front of her. She takes the one of the cyclops and turns it face down. Left on the table are two cards ­ one of a giant centipede, and one of a panther.

Angel notices the ring that their assailant was wearing, and insists that Buffy needs to get somewhere safe. She is more concerned, however, with the cut on his face. Angel still has his vamp face on, and doesn¹t want her to touch him like that. She says that she hadn¹t even noticed, and the two of them kiss. They don¹t realize that the girl from the plane is watching them now.

Back at the library, Buffy recounts the story. She shows Giles the ring, and says that it really freaked Angel out. Giles has a similar reaction, saying that the ring is worn by the Order of Taraka. They are a society of assassins dating back to King Solomon. None of them have earthly desires except to eliminate their target. However many she kills, more will come until she is dead. He agrees with Angel that Buffy needs to hide. Some of the assassins are human, and some of them are not. She probably won¹t know them until they attack!

Norman Pfister watches Buffy¹s house through a pair of binoculars. Beside him lies the body of the woman who let him in. A trail of maggots leads from the body to where Norman sits, and start to crawl up him. They move along his arm, and form a hand, which then becomes flesh.

Buffy is tense and nervous as she walks through the school corridor. Everyone around her seems like a threat! Hearing a locker slam behind her, she turns to see Oz, and pins him against the wall. She quickly realizes her mistake, and lets him go.

In the library that evening, Willow, Xander and Giles are concerned about Buffy. No-one has been able to contact her, and her Mum is out of town. Xander says he’s rung several times. She didn¹t go back homeŠ

Buffy arrives at Angel¹s home. He isn¹t there, but she still feels safe. She lies down on his bed, and goes to sleep.

Angel is at Willy¹s bar trying to get some information. Under the threat of violence Willy tells him that Spike sent the assassins. Before he can say any more, the girl from the plane kicks Angel to the floor. She snaps Willy¹s broom in two, and uses it as a stake! Angel rolls out of the way, but after a fight she manages to lock him in a cage. It is similar to the one at the library, but contains drinks instead. She tells him that she¹s going to kill Buffy next, and points to a nearby window. In a few hours the sun will be up, and there will be nowhere for Angel to hideŠ

As the sun rises, Giles is still in the library. He phones Xander and asks him to get Cordelia to drive him to Buffy¹s house. She has to be found! Willow is asleep at the computer, and Giles gently wakes her. He tells her that the Du Lac book contains a ritual on how to restore a sickly vampire to health.

Dalton hands Spike the completed transcript, and he shows it to Druscilla. She says her cure has been right there in front of them all this time! She turns another tarot card over, and it has a picture of an angelŠ

Xander and Cordy arrive at Buffy¹s home, and break in when they get no reply. Xander goes upstairs, and moments later there¹s a knock on the door. Cordelia opens it. It is Norman Pfister! He offers her free samples, and she invites him in.

Buffy wakes up in Angel¹s bed just as the Caribbean girl attacks. They fight, but seem evenly matched. As they both stand ready in a fighting stance, she asks her opponent¹s name. ŒKendra, the vampire slayer¹ comes the reply!

To be continuedŠ

Episode Ratings

Mac -

“The lead-in to a great episode.”

DJ Angelus -

“Wonderful Cliffhanger to introduce Kendra.”

Quotes

What’s My Line I Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, A=Angel, C=Cordelia, O=Oz, PS=Principal Snyder, S=Spike, D=Druscilla, K=Kendra, Da=Dalton

X: “Are you a people person, or do you prefer keeping your own company?” Well, what if I’m a people person who keeps his own company by default? B: So, mark ‘none of the above.’ X: Well, there are no boxes for ‘none of the above.’ That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head, number- crunching little world. W: I’m sensing bitterness.

W: I’m kind of curious to find out what sort of career I could have . X: What, and suck all the spontanaity out of being young and stupid? I’d rather live in the dark . W: You’re not going to be young forever . X: Yes, but I’ll always be stupid…. Okay, let’s not all rush to disagree.

C: “I aspire to help my fellow man.” Check. As long as he’s not smelly, dirty, or something gross . X: Cordelia Chase, always ready to give a helping hand to the rich and the pretty . C: Which, lucky me, excludes you… twice.

X: Is murder always a crime?

X: You know, with that kind of attitude, you could have had a bright future as an employee at the D.M.V . B: I’m sorry. It’s just, unless hell freezes over, and every vamp in Sunnydale puts in for early retirement, I’d say my future is pretty much a non-issue.

D: Now, will you dance? S: I’ll dance with you, pet. On the Slayer’s grave.

B: Does ‘rest in peace’ have no sanctity to you people? Oh, I forgot. You’re not a people.

A: Buffy. You scared me . B: Now you know what it feels like, Stealth-Guy.

B: You don’t have a nothing face. You have a something face. B: You don’t have to whisper. Mom’s in L.A. till Thursday. Art buying or something . A: Then, why’d you come in through the window? B: …. Habit.

B: We’re having this thing at school . A: Career week? B: How did you know? A: I lurk.

B: You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me.

B: I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids . A: I’ll never be a kid . B: All right, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.

B: My Dorothy Hamill phase. My room in LA was pretty much a shrine. Dorothy dolls, Dorothy posters. I even got the Dorothy haircut. Thereby securing a place for myself in the geek hall of fame.

A: When was the last time you put on your skates? B: About a couple of hundred demons ago.

X: When you look at me, do you think prison guard? B: Um, crossing guard, maybe…

X: Laugh now, missy. They assigned you to the booth for law enforcement professionals . B: As in police? X: As in polyester, doughnuts and brutality . B: Ohh! W: But… doughnuts! B: Uhhh! Well, I’ll just jump off that bridge when I come to it.

G: I’ve been indexing the Watcher diaries covering the last couple of centuries. You’d be amazed how numbingly pompous and long-winded some of these Watchers were . B: Color me stunned.

B: Well, there you go. I don’t have to be the Slayer. I could be dead . G: That wasn’t terribly funny. You notice I didn’t laugh . B: That wouldn’t be much of a change. Either way, I’m bored, constricted, I never get to shop, and my hair and fingernails still continue to grow.

S: Trouble? She’s the gnat in my ear. The gristle in my teeth. She’s the bloody thorn in my bloody side!

Da: The order of Tanaka. I mean, isn’t that overkill? S: No, I think it’s just enough kill.

X: Willow, what are you doing here? Fly, be free, little bird, you defy category.

X: Principal Snyder, great career day, sir, really. In fact, I’m so inspired by your leadership, I’m thinking Principal school. I want to walk in your shoes. Not your actual shoes, of course, because you’re a tiny person. Not tiny in the small sense, of course. Okay, I’m done now.

PS: Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event . X: Well, I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I’m in the position to be that honest with you. PS: Fascinating.

X: Well, love to stay and chat, but I got an appointment with the warden on standard riot procedure.

Guy: We’ve been tracking you for some time . W: Is that a good thing?

O: Canape?

G: You’re behaving remarkably immaturely . B: You know why? I am immature. I’m a teen. I have yet to mature.

B: You act like I picked this gig. Remember, I’m the picked.

B: Giles, it’s one thing to be a Watcher and a librarian. They go together, like a chicken and… another chicken… or two chickens or something.

B: What am I supposed to do, carve stakes for a nursery? G: Point taken.

B: Note to self: religion, freaky.

G: Oh dear, oh dear . B: I hate it when you say that.

B: Excommunicated *and* sent to Sunnydale. That’s a guy big with the sinning.

B: I’m guessing it wasn’t a “Taste of the Vatican” cookbook.

W: So, Giles is sure that the vampire who stole his book is connected to the one you slayed last night? Or is it slew? G: Both are correct.

G: Here’s an article which describes an invention of his, which he called the Du Lac cross . X: So why go to all the trouble of inventing something, and then giving it a weak name like that? I mean, I’d nave gone with the Cross-o-matic, or the amazing Mr. Cross.

B: So you’re saying these vampires went to all this hassle for a basic decoder ring? G: Actually, yes, I suppose I am.

W: Goody! Research party! X: Will, you need a life in the worst way.

B: I promise I’ll be back bright and early tomorrow and ready to slay.

B: Well, you have to admit I kinda lack in the book area. I mean, you guys are the brains. I’d only be here for moral support anyway . X: That’s untrue, Buff, you truly contribute. You go for snacks!

X: But Ho-Ho’s are a vital part of my cognitive process!

B: The Hellmouth presents “Dead Guys on Ice.”

A: You know what the ring means? B: I just killed a Super Bowl champ?

A: You shouldn’t have to touch me when I’m like this . B: Oh. I didn’t even notice.

B: Angel was power-freaked by that ring . G: I’m afraid he was not overreacting. This ring is worn only by members of the Order of Tanaka. It’s a society of deadly assassins dating back to King Solomon . X: And didn’t they beat the Elks this year in the Sunnydale adult bowling league championships? G: Their credo is to sow discord and kill the unwary . X: Bowling is a vicious game. G: That’s enough, Xander!

B: These assassins - why are they after me? W: ’Cause you’re the scourge of the underworld? B: I haven’t been that scourge-y lately.

B: Try it! O: Try what? B: I’m sorry . O: I’m still not clear what I’m supposed to try . B: Nothing. God, I’m sorry . O: That’s a tense person.

G: Maybe Buffy unplugged the phone . X: No, it’s a statistical impossibility for a sixteen- year-old girl to unplug her phone.

G: Perhaps my words of caution were a little too alarming? X: Ya think?!

Willie: I’m staying away from that whole scene. I’m living right, Angel . A: Sure you are, Willie. And I’m taking up sunbathing.

A: You know, I’m a little rusty when it comes to killing humans. It could take a while. W: Don’t warn the tadpoles! G: Don’t warn the tadpoles? W: I… I have frog fear.

C: What am I, mass transportation? X: That’s what a lot of the guys say, but it’s just locker- room talk, I wouldn’t pay it any mind . C: Oh, great, so now I’m your taxi and your punching bag . X: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way.

X: Come on, Cordelia, you want to be a member of the Scooby gang, you got to be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then . C: Oh, right, ’cause I lie awake at night hoping you tweakos will be my best friends. And that my first husband will be a balding, demented homeless man.

C: In case you haven’t noticed, you’re the lameness, and she’s the super chick or whatever . X: At least I’m the lameness who cares.

B: Thanks for the wake-up, but I’ll stick with my clock-radio.

B: Come on, don’t make me do the chick-fight thing . K: Cheeck-fight?