Doppelgangland

Writer/Director : Joss Whedon

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, Seth Green as Oz, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles, David Boreanez as Angel.

Main guest stars : Eliza Dushku as Faith, Harry Groener as Mayor Richard Wilkins III, Alexis Denisof as Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Armin Shimerman as Principal Snyder, Jason Hall as Devon, Ethan Erickson as Percy West, Andy Umberger as D¹Hoffryn.

Original broadcast date : February 23, 1999

In a cave, former vengeance demon Anyanka is begging her boss, a demon named D¹Hoffryn, to create a temporal fold in time so she can go back to the alternate reality from “The Wish” and retrieve her amulet. She says she can¹t bear to live as a human ­ she¹s flunking math ­ and wants to go back to being a demon. But D¹Hoffryn refuses and tells her, basically, that she blew it. Angry, Anya vows to find someone else to help her retrieve the amulet.

Outside Sunnydale High, Willow is floating a pencil while Buffy, doing sit-ups, tells her how impressed she is. Willow modestly says that it just takes emotional control. That emotional control goes out the window, though, when the conversation switches to Faith ­ the pencil flies into a tree, saying a lot for how much Willow cares about the rogue Slayer.

Cut to Principal Snyder¹s office, where the little tyrant is informing Willow that she is to tutor Percy West, one of the best basketball players in the school, for History. Later, at the library, Willow tells Buffy about how Snyder almost threatened her into the tutoring. She vents about how the Principal takes her for granted, and just then Giles steps out of his office and asks her to try breaking in the Mayor¹s files again. A subdued Willow quickly accepts.

As Willow gets on the computer action, Faith comes in, wearing training clothes, followed by a panting Wesley. When Giles asks him if he should be the one to take Buffy out to the obstacle field, Wesley protests that he¹s OK, that he just needs a defibrillator. As Buffy goes to change, Faith approaches Willow and asks her what she¹s doing. When Willow informs her of her plan to hack into the Mayor¹s files, an alarmed Faith wishes her good luck and leaves.

The Mayor is giving Faith the tour of her new place ­ fully furnished, PlayStation included ­ when she informs him of Willow¹s snooping. He tells her that they need to get rid of the little hacker, at which Faith cringes a bit; but Wilkins tells her that he¹ll have some vampires take care of it.

At school, Willow has an argument with Oz about a Dingoes gig he didn¹t invite her to. Then, when she goes to see Percy to arrange a tutoring schedule, she finds out that what Principal Snyder really wants is for her to do his homework for him. Angry, she goes outside and, out to prove she can be unpredictable, prepares to eat a banana even if it isn¹t lunchtime. Then Buffy and Xander show up and ask her if she recorded “Biography” for them; when she says she did, Buffy calls her “Old Reliable”, which makes Willow even angrier. She storms off.

Later, Willow stumbles into Anya, who wants her help in performing a spell. Eager to do something unpredictable, Willow accepts, and the two go to an empty classroom. But as they close their eyes and recite the incantation, Willow sees flashes of the fight between Alternate Buffy and the Master, Vampire Xander and Vampire Willow in the other reality. Startled, Willow botches the spell, which causes it to fail. Frightened, she refuses to try the spell again.

In an abandoned warehouse, Vampire Willow gets up from the floor, confusedŠ

This leathery and skanky alternate Willow is in for even more confusion when she walks the streets of a Sunnydale where humans are out at night, happy. She enters the Bronze ­ hoping it isn¹t changed ­ and bumps into Percy. After asking if she¹s trick or treating with that outfit, Percy picks on her, saying that until graduation, he owns her ass. Vampire Willow, not knowing ­ and not caring ­ what he¹s going on about, throws him over a pool table, then picks him up, lifts him off the floor and starts strangling him. Xander arrives and warns Percy off, thinking he¹s saving Willow from an aggression. As he stares at her unusual clothing, she comes on to him, hands going down to new placesŠ and finds out, disappointed, that he¹s human. Just then, Buffy arrives and also stares, almost speechless, at Willow¹s attire. The vampire has also recognized Buffy; she tells her she doesn¹t like her, and then leaves. As Buffy, trying to make things up, goes after her and puts her hand on her shoulder, Vampire Willow turns around, in full vamp face.

Vampire Willow goes out into an alley and gets attacked by two vampires. She fights back and easily incapacitates them. Holding one down, she breaks two of his fingers, enough to have him acknowledge her as his new boss. She then instructs him to gather his vampires for an assault on the Bronze, to make it “just the way it wasŠ”

At the library, Buffy, Xander and Giles are grieving the death of their friend when the real ­ and quite unsuspecting ­ Willow shows up. After ascertaining that she¹s no vampire, the three suffocate her in a huge hug, and finally fill her in on what¹s going on.

At the Bronze, Anya provides some comic relief when she fails, despite her 1120 years of age, to get the bartender to give her a beer without ID.

Just when Angel shows up on stage, asking Oz if he¹s seen Buffy, Vampire Willow and her minions crash in and take over the place. A more-than-alarmed Oz asks Angel to go get Buffy; meanwhile, Vampire Willow makes her intentions clear by draining a first victim, to show the others what will happen if they don¹t cooperate. Oz, still thinking this is the real Willow, tries to talk to her. Anya then clicks on the fact that this is the alternate Willow, and presents the vampire with a plan to get her back to her own, more “fun” reality.

At the library, Angel barges in and breaks the news of Willow¹s death to BuffyŠ only to notice that Willow is right there behind him, quite alive. Giles, Buffy, Xander and Angel leave for the Bronze to stop whatever¹s going on there, while Willow goes back to the library to pick up something she forgot. There, she¹s ambushed by the alternate ­ and definitely paler - Willow.

Vampire Willow tells her equal number about her plan to get back to her reality, but then reconsiders, toying with the idea of instead making the real Willow into her true bloodsucking twin. Disgusted and freaked out, Willow breaks free and manages to shoot her Doppelganger with the dart gun. Calling Willow a bitch, the vampire crumples to the floor. After Xander and Angel drag Vampire Willow into the library cage, the real Willow dons her evil twin¹s attire in order to try and save people at the Bronze.

At the library, Vampire Willow wakes up in Willow¹s “fuzzy” clothes, which does nothing to improve her mood. Luckily, Cordelia arrives at the library, looking for Wesley, and finds her locked in the library cage. She obligingly goes get Giles¹ keys, but before she opens the door, she decides to take the opportunity to lecture Willow about stealing boyfriends.

At the Bronze, Willow prepares to pose as her evil twin, while her friends wait outside. They agree that the signal for them to intervene is her screaming. Once inside, despite her bad attempt at being Evil Willow, she does manage to send a few vampires outside, where they are dusted by Buffy and friends.

At the library, sick and and tired of hearing Cordelia talk, Vampire Willow apologizes for whatever the real Willow¹s done, and Cordelia lets her out. As soon as she¹s free, she reverts to vamp face and chases Cordelia through the school, cornering her in the women¹s washroom. Wesley arrives and wards Vampire Willow off with a cross and some holy water.

At the Bronze, Anya realizes that this is in fact the real Willow faking her evil twin, and convinces the vampire minions of that fact. Willow argues that a human couldn¹t do this: she screams. Buffy and Angel come crashing inside, dusting vampires as they go. Willow and Oz try to escape by the stage, but Vampire Willow, now really ticked, intervenes, throws Oz out of the way, and tackles Willow, choking her. Buffy comes to the rescue, but Willow stops her short of staking her evil twin.

At the abandoned factory, Giles, Buffy, Xander, the two Willows and a reluctant Anya prepare to do the spell that will send the alternate Willow back to her universe. Sweet as always, the real Willow hugs her twin, who takes this opportunity to play naughty and tease her one last time. Willow draws back pretty quickly (“Hands! Hands!).

Vampire Willow reappears in her reality in the middle of the fight at the Master¹s factory. Just as she prepares to rejoice, Oz pushes her up against a broken piece of wooden fence ­ again ­ and the vampire manages to mouth a four-letter-word before she turns to dust.

The next day, Buffy asks Willow if she¹d like to go out, but Willow declines the offer, saying she has too much work. The Percy comes along, and nervously gives her two papers on both Presidents Roosevelt, a bibliography and, for good measure, an apple. Then, he almost runs off, scared to death. Buffy asks Willow once again if she wants to go out, and the redhead nods, still astonished, saying “Nine OK?”

Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac -

“Probably the funniest episode of all-time. Aly shows her acting chops and doesn’t disappoint.”

DJ Angelus -

“VampWillow shows us the skankier side of sears.”

Quotes

Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, C=Cordelia, O=Oz, A=Angel, J=Joyce, PS=Principal Snyder, WP=Wesley, F=Faith, M=Mayor Wilkins, An=Anya, AW=Alternative Willow, PW=Percy West, Al=Alphonse the vamp

An: For a thousand years I wielded the powers of the Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. And now I’m stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child. And I’m flunking Math.

An: Do you have any idea how boring 12th graders are?

B: He even has that test to see if you’re crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or if you ever wanted to be a florist. W: Ooh, I used to want… Wait, florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that.

W: It’s all about emotional control. Plus, obviously, magic.

W: Hey, you want to go to the Espresso Pump and get sugared up on mochas?

W: How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren’t you sort of naturally buff, Buff? Ha. Buff Buff!

B: I just - well, I want to do… W: Better than Faith? B: So very shallow. W: Competition is natural and healthy. Plus, you’ll definitely ace her on the psych tests. Just don’t mark the box that says, “I sometimes like to kill people.” B: I know Faith’s not going to be on the cover of “Sanity Fair”, but… she had it rough.

B: I know how you hate talking about Faith. W: No, it’s okay. B: No, really, we should just… W: No, it doesn’t bother me. I mean it. B: Uh, Will? W: Oh. //thwung!// B: Emotional control? W: I’m working on it.

PS: As far as I’m concerned this is a marriage made in heaven. Willow Rosenberg, despite her unsavory associations, represents the pinnacle of academic achievement at Sunnydale High. Percy West represents a devastating fast break, and 50% from behind the 3-point line. W: I’m not sure I understand the marriage part. PS: You’ve got the brains, he’s got the fast break. It’s a perfect match. W: Match? You want us to breed? PS: I want you to tutor him.

PS: I know you want to help your school out here. Ask me how I know. W: How do you…? PS: I just know.

B: So he threatened you? With what? W: Well, it wasn’t exactly anything he said. It was all in his eyes. I mean, there was some nostril work as well, but mostly eyes.

G: How did it go? F: Princess Margaret here had a little trouble keeping up. G: How did it go? WP: Faith, uh, did quite well on the obstacle field. Still a little sloppy, though. G: Do you feel up to taking Buffy out, or shall I? WP: Oh, no, no, no, I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute. And some defibrillators, if it’s not too much trouble. F: You’re gonna love it, B. It’s just like fun, only boring.

F: Are you serious about this place? M: Of course I am. No Slayer of mine is gonna live in a fleabag hotel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liaisons going on there. F: Yeah, plus all the screwing.

M: Oh, hey, hey, hey, shoes, shoes! F: Thanks, sugar-daddy! M: Now, Faith, I don’t find that sort of thing amusing. I’m a family man. Now, let’s kill your little friend. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t ask you to do it. Not this early in the relationship. Besides, I think a vampire attack would look less suspicious, anyway. In the meantime, let’s look at the rest of the apartment, huh? If I’m not mistaken, some lucky girl has herself a PlayStation. F: No way. M: Yes way!

O: There’s something about you that’s causing me to hug you. It’s like I have no will of my own. W: Where were you yesterday? O: We got back late, sort of very. W: We? Who? Where?

W: Maybe I would have liked to go. O: Didn’t figure you for missing school. W: You think I’m boring. O: I’d call that a radical interpretation of the text.

W: I’m eating this now. It’s not lunch time, I don’t even care.

W: Old reliable? Yeah, great. There’s a sexy nickname B: Well, I didn’t mean it as… W: No, it’s fine, I’m Old Reliable. X: She just means, you know, the geyser. You’re like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals. W: That’s Old Faithful. X: Isn’t that the dog that the guy had to shoot…? W: That’s Old Yeller. B: Xander, I beg you not to help me.

W: Maybe I’m not just some doormat person. Homework gal. X: I’m thinking nerve strike. W: Maybe I’ll change my look. Or cut class. You don’t know. And I’m eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned. B: Will, wait. I’m really sorry. W: Buff, I’m storming off. It doesn’t really work if you come with me.

An: Anya. I’m sort of new here. I know Cordelia? W: Oh, fun. An: Yeah, listen. I have this little project I’m working on and I heard you were the person to ask. W: Yeah, that’s me. Reliable dog geyser person. What do you need? An: Oh, it’s nothing big. Just a little spell I’m working on. W: A spell? Oh, I like the black arts. An: I just need a secondary to create a temporal fold. I heard you were a pretty powerful Wicca, so… W: You heard right, mister! I’m always ready to work some dark mojo. So, tell me, is it dangerous? An: Oh, no. W: Well, could we pretend it is?

W: Okay, that’s a little blacker than I like my arts.

An: I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace. W: Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell? An: Look, we’ll just try it again, and… W: No. I think emphatically not.

PW: Hey. Rosenberg? What are you doing, trick-or-treating? You’re supposed to be at home doing my history report. I flunk that class, you’re in big trouble with Snyder. Till we graduate, I own your ass. AW: Bored now. //whap// //thud// I’m having a terrible night. Want to make it better? X: What’s going on? Is there a funny thing?

AW: Xander… X: Will. Changing the look. Not an idle threat with you. AW: You’re alive. X: Will, this is verging on naughty touching, here. Don’t want to fall back on bad habits. Hands! Hands in new places. AW: You’re alive. X: You mentioned that… before.

B: There you are. X: Hey, Buff. B: Aren’t you going to introduce me to your… Holy God, you’re Willow. AW: You. B: You know what? I like the look. It’s um, it’s extreme, but it looks good, you know, it’s a leather thing. And, uh, I said extreme already, didn’t I?

B: Will, I’m sorry about today. You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth.

AW: You made me cranky. Al: I’m not telling you a thing. AW: //breaks finger/ Who do you work for? Al: Wilkins. The Mayor. AW: //breaks another finger// Who do you work for? Al: You.

X: This isn’t real. B: I can’t feel anything. Arms, legs, anything. G: She was truly the finest of all of us. X: Way better than me. B: Much. much better.

W: What’s going on? Geeze, who died? Oh, god, who died?

B: Willow, you’re alive. W: Aren’t I usually?

W: I love you guys, too. Okay, oxygen becoming an issue.

W: It’s really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn’t happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?

X: Will, we saw you at the Bronze. A vampire. W: I’m not a vampire! B: You are. I mean, you were. Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon? G: Well, uh, something… something very strange is happening. X: Can you believe the Watcher’s Council let this guy go?

An: What a day. Give me a beer. Bartender: I.D. An: //glares// Bartender: I.D. An: I’m 1120 years old, just give me a frigging beer! Bartender: I.D. An: //sighs// Give me a Coke.

Devon: Man, we need a roadie. Other bands have roadies. O: Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords. Devon: That’s just, like, fruity jazz bands.

Al: Nobody cause any trouble, or try to leave.. and nobody gets hurt. A: Why don’t I believe him? O: Well, he lacks credibility.

O: I think we need backup. A: I think I’m needed here. O: Ten to one. Could get pointless.

AW: Look, everyone’s all afraid. It’s just like old times.

AW: You don’t have to be afraid… just to please me. If you’re all good boys and girls, we’ll make you young and strong forever and ever. We’ll have fun. If you’re not… //chomp// Questions? Comments?

O: You don’t want to do this. AW: I don’t? But I’m so good at it.

AW: This is a dumb world. In my world there are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies.

B: It was exactly you, Will. Every detail. Except for your not being a dominatrix… as far as we know. W: Oh, right, me and Oz play Mistress of Pain every night. X: …Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place? B: Oh, yeah. G: //raises glasses//

A: Buffy, I… something’s happened that… Willow’s dead. Hey, Willow…Wait a second. X: We’re right there with you, buddy.

B: Should we call Faith? G: No, I don’t want her in combat yet, not around civilians. X: Hear, hear.

AW: Well, look at me, I’m all fuzzy. W: What do I want with you? Uhh… AW: Your little school friend Anya said that you’re the one that brought me here. She said that you could get me back to my world. W: Oh. Ooh. Oops!

AW: We could be quite a team, if you came around to my way of thinking. W: Would that mean we have to snuggle? AW: What do you say? Want to be bad? W: This just can’t get more disturbing. AW: //growls// W: Ack! No more! You’re really starting to freak me out.

AW: You don’t want to play, guess I can’t force you. Oh, wait, I can. W: //shoots tranquilizer dart// AW: Bitch!

G: It’s extraordinary. W: It’s horrible. That’s me as a vampire? I’m so evil, and skanky. And I think I’m kind of gay. B: Willow, just remember, a vampire’s personality has nothing to do with the person it was. A: Well, actually… That’s a good point.

A: Well, even if they’re supposed to wait for her, they may start feeding. Vampires are not notoriously reliable. X: So we charge in, much in the style of John Wayne? G: High casualty risk.

A: They’re still in a holding pattern. That’s good. It means they must really be afraid of you. W: Who wouldn’t be? B: Are you okay in that? W: It’s a little binding. I guess vampires really don’t have to breathe. Gosh, look at those.

X: What is the signal? W: Me screaming.

B: Now, you’re sure you’re up to this? W: Don’t worry. I won’t do anything that could be interpreted as brave.

An: How could you kill her? She was our best shot at getting your world back. W: I don’t like that you dare question me. Maybe I’ll have my minions take you out back and kill you horribly. An: Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth.

AW: Oh, this is like a nightmare.

C: Wait. It occurs to me that we’ve never really had the opportunity to talk. You know, woman to woman. With you locked up. AW: Don’t want to talk. Hungry. C: What could we talk about? Oh, hey! How about the ethics of boyfriend stealing?

W: It would be like shooting fish in a barrel. Where’s the fun? Al: With all due respect, Boss, the fun would be the eating.

W: Okay, let’s get to the killing. Why don’t we start with her? An: Why don’t we start with you? If she’s a vampire, them I’m the Creature From the Black Lagoon.

C: What? Do I have something on my neck? AW: Not yet.

C: I didn’t mean all that stuff I said before. I want you to have Xander. My blessings on you both. AW: I’m so over him.

WP: Back, creature of the night! Leave this place! AW: Don’t wanna. WP: //threatens with holy water// AW: //sighs// Whatever.

An: I’m just so tired of being around human beings and all their baggage. I don’t care if I ever get my powers back. I think he should eat you. W: This girl has a history of mental problems dating back to early childhood. I’m a blood-sucking fiend. Look at my outfit!

W: A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this? Aaaaaahhhhh! An: Sure, yeah. Humans do that. Al: Yeah, I think, yeah.

W: Ow, ow, ow! Happy, but ow.

W: No more snuggles?

W: Nice reflexes. B: Well, I work out.

AW: This world’s no fun. W: You noticed that, too?

X: So, um, in your reality, I’m like this bad-ass vampire, huh? People afraid of me? Oh, yeah. I’m bad.

W: Good luck. Try not to kill people. //hugs// Hands! Hands!

AW: Oh, fu–

B: You wanna go out tonight? W: Strangely, I feel like staying at home… and doing my homework… and flossing… and dying a virgin. B: You know, you can O.D. on virtue. W: Between me and my evil self, I’ve double guilt coupons.

PW: Okay, so I did the outline for the paper of Roosevelt. It turns out there were two President Roosevelt’s, so I didn’t know exactly which one to do, so I did both. I know they’re kind of short, but I can flesh them out. Oh, and here’s the bibliography. Um, and I can retype that if you want. You just let me know what I did wrong, and I’ll get on it. B: //pause// You wanna go out tonight? W: Nine sound good? Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers