Fool for Love

Writer: Doug Petrie Director: Nick Marck

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Marc Blucas as Riley Finn, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Michelle Trachtenberg as Dawn Summers, James Marsters as Spike, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles. Main guest stars : David Boreanaz as Angelus, Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers, Mercedes McNab as Harmony Kendall, Juliet Landau as Drusilla, Julie Benz as Darla, Kali Rocha as Cecily Adams, Ming Liu as 1900 Slayer, April Wheedon-Washington as 1977 Slayer. Original broadcast date : November 14, 2000 My one-line description: This is where we learn that Spike killed Lucy Liu and then Diana Ross… In the graveyard, Buffy is doing her job, fighting a vampire. She pulls out her stake to finish him off, but wait… what’s this? The vampire turns the stake on her and stabs her in the abdomen with it! A disbelieving Buffy pulls the stake out and lets it fall; the vampire is about to pick it up when Riley shows up and chases him away. Buffy faints in her boyfriend’s arms. In her bedroom, Buffy is being taken care of by Riley. She’s concerned that he’ll think she’s a wimp, and he reassures her – until he learns she was staked by a normal vampire. Dawn arrives, warning them that Joyce is coming this way, and Riley quickly hides the first aid kit until the all-clear. On Dawn’s request, Buffy shows her sister her wound, which Dawn finds quite cool. Since she’ll be off her feet for a little while, Dawn agrees to take over household chores, while Riley offers to take over patrolling. That night, Riley is in full soldier mode, stealthily sneaking into the graveyard as Anya, Willow and Xander, loudly munching on chips, follow him. Riley signals them forward, and Xander yells to him, asking what the hand signalling is all about. “It means yell real loud so the vampires who don’t know we’re coming will have a sporting chance,” Riley impatiently answers. “See, now he’s all mad and sarcastic », Xander says to Willow. The Scoobies follow Riley, admiring the coolness of his being so stealthy. At the Magic Box, Buffy and Giles are searching through the Watcher’s diaries to find out how previous Slayers died. Buffy fears she may have slipped, and wants to know more about her predecessors’ last battles. However, Giles points out previous Watchers didn’t write much about their Slayer’s demise, since it tends to be a painful event for them. Buffy decides to go to the only person who has firsthand experience of a Slayer’s death… Later, she bursts into Spike’s crypt, punches him and demands that he tell her how he killed two Slayers. At the Bronze, Buffy agrees to pay cash – and chicken wings – if Spike tells her how he did it. The vampire figures out that she wants to know because she’s been injured, and Buffy, a bit ticked, asks him if he was always such a pain in the ass. “I’ve always been bad…” Spike begins. London, 1880. At a party, a bespectacled young man composes poetry – in honour of Cecily Adams, a young woman just now coming down the stairs, a young woman whom he’s in love with. A man asks the poet – William – if he’s heard about recent attacks in the neighbourhood, but William replies that he does not concern himself with such things – he prefers creating things of beauty. Suddenly, another man grabs William’s poem and starts reading it aloud, intent on embarrassing him. The group laughs at the horrible rhymes, and we learn that William’s nickname is “The Bloody”, because he writes such bloody awful poetry. Retrieving the piece of paper, the young man retreats to the living room, where Cecily asks him if the poem is about her. He confesses his love to her, and she turns him down; “You’re beneath me”, she says before leaving. In the street, a distraught William tears up his poetry and ends up in an alley, crying. A dark woman approaches, and offers to “unleash his imagination”. He accepts, and she bites him, turning him into a vampire… Back in Sunnydale, the Scoobies have tracked the vampire that hurt Buffy back to a vampire nest. They decide to come back at daybreak to dispose of the nest. At the Bronze, Spike is playing pool with Buffy. Picking up where he left off, he recalls that after he was sired by Drusilla, he decided to live by his own rules. However, he says, he needed a gang… London, the 1880s. In an alley, Angelus is holding William by the throat, threatening him. It seems the gang – Darla and Drusilla included – are angry at him because he’s careless and forces them to run. The guys fight, until Angelus lets William – Spike, William says his name is – go, saying that if he can’t teach him, an angry crowd will… or the Slayer. “What’s a Slayer?” Spike asks. At the Bronze, Spike comments to Buffy that it was the start of his obsession with killing the Slayer. China, 1900. It’s the Boxer Rebellion, and peasants are fleeing their burning village. Inside a small house, Spike is fighting the current Slayer, a young Chinese woman. She seems to be at the top of her art, using very fancy moves. However, Spike gets the best of her, floors her and starts drinking from her. The dying Slayer asks him to tell her mother she’s sorry. Spike apologizes – he doesn’t speak Chinese. Drusilla enters, sees the dead Slayer, and accepts some of her blood from Spike – a powerful aphrodisiac, he claims. As the village burns, they make love near the dead Slayer’s body. Outside, Drusilla announces to Darla and Angel that Spike has killed the Slayer. Angel – who has probably gotten his soul back by now – half-heartedly congratulates him. The four of them leave the village, looking quite mean. At the Bronze, Spike comments that it was the best night of his (after)life. Buffy is outraged, but Spike is surprised she doesn’t get off on killing vampires. He points out that her work is futile – there is only one of here, and hundreds of thousands like him are all looking for the same thing: one good day. Riley goes back to the cemetery even though it’s still night; it seems he wants to go it alone. In the vampire nest, he succeeds in staking the vampire who hurt Buffy, and he chucks a grenade at the rest. Walking outside the Bronze, Spike tells Buffy how he killed his second Slayer… New York, 1977. In an empty subway train, Spike is fighting a young African-American woman. The scene switches back to Sunnydale, where he comments that the question isn’t how he won, but how the Slayer lost. Buffy doesn’t understand, so Spike explains… In the train, Spike, dressed and coiffed a la bleached punk, is still fighting the Slayer. He tells Buffy that all Slayers are haunted by the same question - is this the day they’re going to die; part of them wants to, just to end the fighting. The reason Buffy has lasted so long, he says, is because of her friends and family. But every Slayer has a death wish… In the train, Spike kills the Slayer and takes her long leather duster. Back in Sunnydale, he promises Buffy that when she’s ready to die, he’ll be there to have himself another good day. Spike’s lesson is over, and Buffy orders him out of her sight. However, he taunts her and tries to kiss her. Disgusted and bewildered, she pushes him away. “It would never be you, Spike”, she spits at him. “You’re beneath me.” She throws the money at him and storms off. He picks up the money, crying. Back in his crypt, Spike takes a rifle out of a trunk, promising that Buffy will be “six bloody feet beneath me.” Harmony tries to reason with him, but he stalks out of the crypt, intent on killing her. “Why can’t you kill her?” asks a familiar voice… South America, 1998. Outside a bar, Drusilla and Spike argue. She tells him that whenever she looks at him, all she sees is the Slayer. Buffy comes back home to find her mother packing. Joyce announces that she has to spend the night at the hospital for a CAT scan. She tries to reassure Buffy, saying that if they do find something, it’s still early enough. Shaken to the core, Buffy goes outside, sits on the back porch and starts weeping. Spike chooses this moment to show up with his rifle; she just looks up at him, and seeing the tears, he asks her what’s wrong. She doesn’t want to talk about it, so he just sits down next to her and tries to comfort her… Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac -

“Spike-centric. This is a good episode, but way overrated by the fans in my opinion.”

Quotes

Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, R=Riley, S=Spike, A=Anya, D=Dawn,As=Angelus, H=Harmony, J=Joyce

B: You know, it’s probably none of my business, but I just gotta ask… you smell this bad when you were alive? ’Cause if it’s a postmortem thing, then boy, is my face red. But just so you know, the fast- growing field of personal grooming’s come a long way since you became a vampire.

Vamp: You’re goin’? But you were having so much fun a minute ago.

B: I can’t believe I passed out. Do you think I’m a total wuss now? R: Oh, yeah. I like a girl who can play a few hard sets of tennis with a major stab wound. B: You said it wasn’t that bad. R: I said I’ve seen worse. There’s a difference. B: Well, at least no major organs got kebabed.

B: Accelerated healing powers come with the Slayer package. And the boyfriend who comes complete with combat medical training? That’s just a Buffy Summers bonus.

J: I’m fine, bordering on chipper, and tomorrow planning on being obnoxious.

D: Some nail polish experiments are doomed before they even begin. J: But you keep pushing the envelope, honey.

D: Did I just pull a Slayer-related Mom cover-up thing? Come on. Who’s the man? B: You are. A very short, annoying man.

D: Oh, cool. I mean, gross.

D: Oh sure. I save your butt and you dump all your chores on me.

D: When do I get to patrol? B: Not until you’re never!

X: What’s with the hand wave? You see that? Does that, like, mean something? W: It’s code. I think it breaks down to “choo-choo!” A: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him. W: //whispering// Ask him. X: //yelling// Hey, Riley? What’s the //hand gesture// all about? R: It means yell real loud so the vampires who don’t know we’re coming will have a sporting chance. X: See, now he’s all mad and sarcastic. W: It’s because you were doing all that yelling, Mr. Stealthy-pants.

R: Tell you what. I’ll take the cemeteries – you guys get the Bronze. A: Were we not being covert enough? X: We’re sorry. W: Sorry. X: We’ll be sneakier, promise.

X: You know what he’s like? He’s like a cat. You know, a big jungle cat. How come I’m not like that? It’s just so cool. W: //munching chips// I think you’re cool.

G: What does it say? B: Same as all the others. Slayer called, blah blah, great protector, blah blah, scary battles, blah blah, oops! She’s dead. Where are the details? G: Details? Well, it says this Slayer forged her own weapons. B: Gotta love a gal with an anvil.

B: I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package, but I want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto.

G: The problem is that after a final battle, that, uh, it’s difficult to get any, uh… well, the Slayer’s not… she’s rather, um… B: It’s okay to use the “D” word, Giles. G: Dead. And… hence not very forthcoming. B: Why didn’t the Watcher’s keep fuller accounts of it? The journals just… stop. G: Well, I suppose if they’re anything like me, they just found the whole subject too… B: Unseemly? Damn. Love ya, but you Watchers are such prigs sometimes. G: Painful, I was going to say.

S: Ow! Wait, not “ow.” Are you feeling all right, Slayer? This stuff usually hurts.

S: You know, there are quite a few American beers that are highly underrated. This, unfortunately, is not one of them. B: Update, Spike: We’re not here to discuss the fine choice of hops.

B: Tell the tale, you get the cash. S: Right. You want to learn all about how I bested the Slayers, and you want to learn fast. Right, then. We fought. I won. The end. Pay up.

S: Since I agreed to your little proposition, we can do this my way. Wings. B: What? S: Spicy buffalo wings. Order me up a plate. I’m feeling peckish.

S: As I thought – some nasty thing got a taste of you.

S: Oh, right. Stuck in a dark corner with a creature you loathe, digging up past uglies, ’cause you’re “fine”.

B: Were you born this big a pain in the ass? S: What can I tell you, baby? I’ve always been bad.

William: Luminous. Oh, no, no, no. Irr-irradiant’s better.

William: Quickly, I’m the very spirit of vexation. What’s another word for “gleaming”? it’s a perfectly perfect word, as many words go, but the bother is nothing rhymes, you see.

Guy: “My heart expands, ’tis grown a bulge in it, inspired by your beauty effulgent.” Effulgent?

Girl: Have you heard? They call him “William the Bloody” because of his bloody awful poetry. Guy: It suits him. I’d rather have a railroad spike through my head than listen to that awful stuff!

Dru: And I wonder what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears?

Dru: Oh, I see you. A man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength, his vision, his glory. That, and burning baby fish swimming all around your head.

R: It’s okay. We can kill them just as dead in the morning.

B: So you traded up on the food chain. Then what? S: No, please! Don’t make it sound like something you’d flip past on the Discovery channel.

S: Getting killed made me feel alive for the very first time.

S: Oh, I’m sorry – did I sully our good name? We’re vampires!

Darla: I think our boys are going to fight! Dru: The king of cups expects a picnic… //giggles// but this is not his birthday. Darla: Good point.

S: You know what I prefer to being hunted? Getting caught. As: That’s brilliant strategy, really. Pure cunning.

As: A real kill, a good kill, it takes pure artistry. Without that, we’re just animals. S: Poofter.

S: I mean, if you’re looking for fun, there’s death, there’s glory, and sod-all else, right?

B: So, how’d you kill her? S: Funny you should ask. //grabs Buffy// Lesson the first: A Slayer must always reach for her weapon. I’ve already got mine.

Dru: Look at the wonderful mess you’ve made.

S: You ever hear them saying the blood of a Slayer is a powerful aphrodisiac? Here now… have a taste.

S: What are you lookin’ at? B: You got off on it. S: Well, yeah. I suppose you’re telling me you don’t?

S: But you can kill a hundred, a thousand, a thousand thousand, and the armies of hell besides, and all we need is for one of us, just one, sooner or later to have the thing we’re all hoping for. B: And that would be what? S: //whispering// One… good… day.

Vamp: Killed with her own weapon. They ought to put this in a museum. R: You know what they put in museums? Mostly dead things.

S: Lesson the second: Ask the right questions. You want to know how I beat them? Question isn’t how’d I win. The question is, why’d they lose?

S: I could have danced all night with that one. B: You think we’re dancing? S: That’s all we’ve ever done.

S: Every day you wake up, it’s the same bloody question that haunts you: Is today the day I die?

S: Sooner or later… you’re gonna want it. And the second–the second that happens, you know I’ll be there. I’ll slip in… have myself a real good day. Here endeth the lesson.

S: Did I scare ya? You’re the Slayer. Do something about it. Hit me. Come on. One good swing. You know you want to. B: I mean it. S: So do I. Give it me good, Buffy. Do it!

S: Come on, I can feel it, Slayer. You know you want to dance. B: Say it’s true. Say I do want to… it wouldn’t be you, Spike. It would never be you. You’re beneath me.

S: Beneath me. I’ll show her. Put her six bloody feet beneath me. Hasn’t got a death wish. Bitch won’t need one.

H: Okay, I’m trying to be supportive here, so don’t drive a stake through my heart like last time. But you can’t kill Buffy. She’s the Slayer. She is so gonna kick your ass. S: Got two barrels here that’ll prove you wrong. H: I knew you’d take this personally. You’re so sensitive! How are you gonna kill her? Think! The second you even point that thing at her, you’re gonna be all “Aaagh!” And then you’ll get bitch-slapped up and down Main Street, unless she’s had enough and just stakes you. S: Sure, it’ll hurt like hell for about two hours. But she’ll be dead just a little longer than that.

S: I did it for you. And you keep punishing me. Carrying on with creatures like this. Chaos Demon: Okay, you guys obviously have a thing going on here…

J: You know the nothing that I’ve been dealing with the last couple of weeks? It might not be nothing.

Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers