Triangle

Writer: Jane Espenson Director: Christopher Hibler

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Michelle Trachtenberg as Dawn Summers, James Marsters as Spike, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles. Main guest stars : Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers, Amber Benson as Tara, Abraham Benrubi as Olaf the Troll. Original broadcast date : January 9, 2001 My one-line description: I want a hammer like that. My friends don’t have a hammer that big. Xander and Anya are chatting in bed, wondering how Buffy is dealing with Riley’s departure. In a convent, Buffy fights and dusts a vampire, then asks a young nun about the religious lifestyle. “You know, um, with the whole abjuring the company of men? You know, how’s that working for you?” she innocently questions. While training with Buffy at the Magic Box, Giles announces to her that he’s headed to England to seek the Watchers’ Council help in getting info about Glory and the Key – although he promises not to mention Dawn. He muses that he might have sought the Initiative’s help, but with Riley gone – then he apologizes for saying the R-word, but Buffy puts up a good act of telling him that she’s fine. Anya is elated that Giles is going to England – she believes she’ll be left in charge of the shop. Giles is a bit worried, since Anya is good with the inventory and the cash, but lacks people skills. Willow offers to help, but that makes Anya angry. Xander, caught in the middle of the fight, dances out of it by asking Buffy about her slaying. She mentions her trip to the convent, worrying him quite a bit. At the Summers home, Joyce has shed her blue bathrobe and dressed in real clothes. Buffy and Dawn marvel at the change, making their mother happy. Then Buffy goes to read in her own bedroom, where Dawn rapidly joins her. The teen notices that all the pictures of Riley have disappeared, and she comments that he was gone so fast… Buffy admits that it hurts, that she’s mad at him and at herself, and that she can think of plenty of ways she could have prevented this. She tells Dawn he may come back, and she’ll get to say all the things she didn’t get to tell him before he left. Spike, using a blonde mannequin he’s scavenged, practices apologizing to Buffy for leading her to the vampire suckers club. But then he imagines her arguing back, and he gets angry. He knocks the mannequin down, then calms himself, straightens the mannequin and tries again. At the Magic Box, Anya makes a scene when Willow and Tara start collecting items for a spell they’re planning. She claims they’re stealing, and Willow tries to mollify her by offering to teach her a few spells. Anya refuses; Xander arrives and both girls try to get him to defend their point of view. Ticked off, he snaps that he’s sick and tired of being in the middle of their arguments, and asks them to settle this themselves. After he storms out, Tara also leaves before they try to put her in the middle, too. Willow starts pouring the ingredients for her spell in a cauldron (she wants to create a ball of sunshine for Buffy), and Anya adds up the bill for the ingredients. Willow asks her to stop distracting her – any non-ritual word can foul up the spell. Of course, Anya can’t stay quiet, and the two girls start fighting again. Willow, now fully distracted, demands that whatever’s bothering Anya, she “let it out”. An explosion occurs, and a large troll appears. It bellows at the two frightened girls before leaving the show. “He’s not a ball of sunshine,” Willow timidly comments. Tara, attending a new class with Buffy, tries to comfort the Slayer and take her mind off Riley. As they leave for lunch, Buffy suggests they get Willow and go for a hamburger. Tara says Willow is at the Magic Box, and she tells Buffy about the fight Willow and Anya had that got Xander to leave in a huff. Buffy panics, thinking – in her fragile emotional state - that Xander and Anya are breaking up. Tara does her best to reassure the suddenly half-hysterical Slayer. Willow and Anya hop into Giles’ red BMW convertible and follow the trail of havoc the troll has left. A comical scene ensues as Willow realizes Anya doesn’t know how to drive – she’s just learned to use the pedals – and this leads the two to argue some more. Anya steps on the gas, and the car goes faster – making Willow lose some of her spell sheets to the wind. Xander is at the Bronze venting his anger when he runs into Spike. The vampire thinks Xander is angry because of the whole Riley-sucked-by-vampires deal, and he tries to know if Buffy is holding a grudge against him. Xander asks him what Buffy has to do with this, and Spike realizes Xander is angry for another reason. Tara and Buffy arrive at the Magic Box and find the place a mess – and of course Willow and Anya are gone. Full of foreboding, they too follow the trail of destruction left by the troll… Spike and Xander are playing pool, while Xander complains about Willow and Anya putting them in the middle of their fights. The conversation is interrupted by the arrival of the troll, who drinks down half a barrel of beer, and then asks for stronger ale and plump, succulent babies to eat. Xander tries to placate him, until Anya and Willow arrive. Willow wishes Buffy was there, and voila – Buffy enters. “I wish I had a million dollars!” Willow exclaims. “Just checking,” she adds. Anya tells Buffy that Willow conjured up the troll, and says that they need to do a reversal spell. Willow begins to perform it, and the troll interrupts her, accusing Anya of spoiling his fun – just like when they were dating. After some surprised exclamations, Anya explains that he wasn’t always a troll – she turned him into one after she caught him cheating on her; then a coven of witches imprisoned him in a crystal ball. The troll prepares to attack the gang, and Willow tries to do the spell – but nothing happens. Buffy charges the troll, but he sends her flying with a knock of his hammer. Then he knocks down the support pillars for the balcony, which comes crashing down over the Slayer’s head… Buffy rises uninjured, but the troll has disappeared. She orders Xander to find the troll, and Willow and Anya to go to the Magic Box and find a spell that will work. Then the Slayer sees Spike tending to one of the wounded bronzegoers, and asks what he’s doing. He replies that he’s not feeding off the victim, and Buffy is appalled and disgusted that he would brag about not feeding off a wounded person. She leaves in a huff. At the Magic Box, Willow and Anya argue (again) while looking for a spell. Willow finally admits her concern that Anya could hurt Xander, and Anya protests that she would never do that – besides, she has no magic powers anymore. She comments that Willow is the one D’Hoffryn offered her old job to, so maybe she’s the one Xander should be afraid of. Willow, in turn, swears that she would never hurt Xander. Thus, the girls ascertain that neither of them will hurt Xander… and they see the troll burst into the shop, intent on hurting them. Xander arrives and tries to defend the girls against the troll, and the monster throws him around like a doll. However, Xander’s willingness to fight has impressed him, so he makes him an offer – only the woman he chooses will die. Xander refuses to choose, of course, and Olaf commends his loyalty – then he breaks his arm. Anya asks Olaf to kill her but spare Xander; then Buffy and Tara bursts in, and once again the Slayer charges the troll. Anya distracts Olaf by some more nagging, while Willow works a spell that sends the troll’s hammer flying from his hands. Buffy points out that Olaf isn’t so strong now… Wrong. Olaf is still pretty strong – and quite annoying, as he comments that Anya and Xander’s love will never last. This sends Buffy into overdrive. “Their love… will last… forever!!!” she shouts as she pummels him unconscious. She then looks around, and bursts into tears. Later, Willow – now reconciled with Anya - performs a spell to send Olaf back to a universe of trolls. Buffy is happy she has Olaf’s nifty hammer, and even happier that Anya and Xander are still together. At the thought, she starts sobbing again. At the Summers home, Buffy, Giles and Joyce are discussing Glory and the Council. Buffy wonders if the Council knows Dawn is the Key. As they keep on talking, Dawn comes downstairs, but stops cold in the stairs, hearing Buffy wonder “what they’ll do if they figure it out” about Dawn. Dawn looks alarmed. Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac -

“Give the nod to Sarah, Aly and Emma in this one. Not to mention a great villian. “

Quotes

Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, R=Riley, S=Spike, A=Anya, D=Dawn, T=Tara, J=Joyce

X: You ever have the feeling where there’s something you know you’re supposed to do, and you forgot what it was? A: Nope.

X: Sometimes I sort of forget that he’s gone. It’s like, “Where’s Riley? Oh, wait, the central republic of Where In the Hell.”

A: Xander, if you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know, big flashing red lights and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there’s a whole bunch of colored wires and I’m not sure which is the right one to cut, but I guess the green one and then at the last second, no, the red one, and then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left, but then you don’t leave. Like that, okay? X: Check. Big bomb clock.

X: Yeah, relationship debris is kind of piling up on the Buffy highway.

A: Humans make the same mistakes over and over. I saw it when I was a vengeance demon. Some guy dumps a girl, she calls me, I exact vengeance, blah, blah, blah. The next year, same girl, different guy. I mean, after you smite a few of ’em, you start going, my goodness, young lady, maybe you’re doing something wrong here too.

B: So, um, about being a nun. You know, um, with the whole abjuring the company of men, you know? How’s that working for you? The abjuring. Nun: Um, good. B: Yeah, do you have to be, like, super-religious? Nun: Well, uh… B: How’s the food?

G: The resources that the Watcher’s Council have at their disposal… I mean, the central library alone is– B: Don’t talk about the books again. You get all… And sometimes there’s drool.

B: It’s just I trust these Watchers about as far as you could throw them. G: Thank you very much.

B: These things happen. People break up and they move on. For a while it feels like the end of the world, you know, but big picture… G: Not so huge. B: Not so huge? I just said it feels like the end of the world. Don’t you listen? //uncomfortable pause// B: I’m teasing. Sort of.

W: We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it’s been pointed out to me that that’s, you know, insane. T: I said “quirky.”

G: Um, Anya, while I completely trust you to take care of the inventory and the money, um, dealing with people requires a certain… finesse. A: I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom! I can completely lie to the health inspector. I can, you know, distract him with coy smiles and bribe him with money and goods. X: See there? She’ll be great.

W: It’ll be ship-shape. Better, it’ll be shop-shape.

X: So, how goes the slaying? B: I killed something in a convent last night. X: In any other room, a frightening declaration. Here, a welcome distraction. Tell us about the killing, Buff. B: Pretty standard. Vampire staking. Oh! But I met a nun and she let me try on her wimple. X: Okay, now we’re back to frightening.

B: No more bathrobe. J: I looked at it today, and there it was, all fuzzy and blue, and I just couldn’t stand it any more. B: I don’t think the rest of us will miss it much, either. D: It was getting a little ripe, Mom. B: Maybe we should burn it. D: It would keep the bugs away.

D: Can I hang out in here? B: Don’t touch anything.

B: It wasn’t like that. I was never angry with him. Okay, that’s a lie.

B: Stop being insightful. It’s creepy.

S: Uh, there’s something I gotta tell you. About showing you Riley in that place. I didn’t mean to… Anyway, I know you’re feeling all betrayed – by him, not me. I was trying to help, you know. Not like I made him be there, after all. Actually trying to help you, best intentions. You know, pretty state you’d be in, thinking things are all right, while he’s toddling halfway around the bend. Oh, I’ll insult him if I want to! I’m the one who’s on your side. Me, doing you a favor. And you being dead petty about it! Me getting nothing but your hatred and your venom and– you ungrateful bitch! Bitch!! Buffy, there’s something I wanted to tell you…

T: Hellebore. One of my favorites. W: It’s powerful stuff. I tried to use it to de-rat Amy and it didn’t work, but I think it might have made her really smart. She keeps giving me these looks like she’s planning something, rubbing her paws together.

W: There Buffy is, middle of the night, and she finds this whole nest of vamps. And then she just goes “Presto!” T: Only it won’t be “Presto”, exactly. W: And voomph! There’s a floating ball of sunlight. Vamps get dusty. T: You don’t want to look right at it, though.

W: It’s so cute. He balances a bunch of stuff, including that fish in the bowl. And– but don’t try it for real when you’re six, because then you’re not allowed to have fish for five years.

W: I’m not stealing. I’m just taking things without paying for them. In what twisted dictionary is that stealing?

W: We could show you how to do some stuff. You could be floating pencils by the end of the day. A: Sometimes I miss having powers… Oh. Oh! I know what this is! This is peer pressure! Any second now you’re gonna make me smoke tobacco and have drugs. W: Look how easy. A: Hey, don’t float the merchandise.

A: Willow’s stealing. She’s a burglar. W: Right. the cunning, broad daylight in front of everyone burglar.

X: Hey, hey, Judge Xander requesting a recess here.

W: Oops. A: The cash register! What did you do with the cash register? Dear god! W: I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it! Recursat! There. All back. Good as new.

A: She endangered the money! W: Of course, that’s what she cares about. “I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services.” A: Xander, she’s pretending to be me!

W: Hey, Anya, whatever really has you mad, why don’t you just say it, like you do every other thought that stomps through your brain.

W: He’s not a ball of sunshine.

B: New semester, new classes, whole new vistas of knowledge to be confused and intimidated by.

B: I really don’t need a daily two-o’clock knife in the heart.

T: Willow says that things always happen for a reason. B: Yeah, but you ever notice people only say that about bad things?

B: Xander left Anya? T: No… Not left her, left her. He just left. It was only a little thing, really. B: Little thing? See, the thing is, little things get bigger. You know? And, and if you don’t catch the little thing, and then boom! You have this whole huge thing! Not them, with the little things. They can’t break up! They have a beautiful love. T: I think they’ll be fine. B: //sobbing// They have a miraculous love!

W: I released him? No, this was definitely a “we” thing. Or, or a “you” thing. It definitely feels like a “you” thing.

A: Well, I don’t know how to put the top up. I only just figured out what the left pedal does. It makes us stop! W: You don’t know how to drive? Why didn’t you say you don’t know how to drive? A: Well, I couldn’t know if I could until I tried, could I?

W: There’s a troll on the loose and you’re gonna crash Giles’ car! A: It’s likely. We’re going very fast.

W: Giles can be an idiot. The smart kind, but still.

X: Are you talking to me hoping that I’ll get so depressed that I’ll impale myself on a fork right in front of you? S: Lovely thought.

S: No need to talk about her, then. I’m sure she’s merrily slaying some pals of mine, having a grand old time.

Olaf: You do well to flee, townspeople. I will pillage your lands and dwellings. I will burn your crops and make merry with your more attractive daughters.

X: Sometimes I’ll say something about Anya, and Willow’ll get this look. This what-the-hell-do-you-see-in-her? look. S: I know that look. A lot of people never really got Dru, you know? X; Well, she was insane.

X: So, uh… think I should run and get Buffy? Olaf: Barmaid, bring me stronger ale, and some plump, succulent babies to eat. X: I’m gonna run and get Buffy.

X: Maybe you could fight him. S: Yeah, I could do that, but I’m paralyzed with not caring very much.

A: You shouldn’t be here. There’s a troll. X: A big guy, hammer? I think I noticed him.

W: I wish Buffy was here. B: I’m here. W: I wish I had a million dollars. //pause// Just checking.

Olaf: You seem determined to put an end to all my fun. Just like you always did when we were dating. A: Uh, um… X: You dated him? B: You dated a troll? W: And we’re, what, surprised by this?

S: I’m not sampling, I’ll have you know. Look at all these lovely, blood-covered people. I could, but not a taste for Spike, not a lick. I knew you wouldn’t like it. B: You want credit for not feeding off bleeding disaster victims? S: Well, yeah.

W: I’m taking everything on relocation spells, suspension spells, and, what the heck, spells to make him really sleepy, because, slightly better.

W: You’re so rude. I mean, sure, at first– ex-demon: doesn’t know the rules. Well, you’ve been here forever. Learn the rules. A: Rules are stupid.

W: You spent, what, a thousand years hurting men? You got your thousand-years-of-hurting-men gold watch.

A: Is this the spell? W: Only if you want him to double in size, and grow extra arms, which… let’s not.

A: I know what broke up him and Cordelia, you know. It was you and your lips. W: No, it was not! Well, yes, it was so.

W: Hello, gay now.

Olaf: I could be out pillaging, devouring babies, making merry with the local virgins! But instead, I had to come all the way back here to kill you.

W: “E conspectu abeat monstrum.” //cash register disappears// Damn.

W: Distract him from Buffy. Piss him off. A: I don’t know how. W: Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off. A: Oh, thanks.

Olaf: My god, woman, it’s been a thousand years, and yet you are as aggravating and emasculating as ever you were.

B: Where did you send him? A: The land of the trolls. He’ll like it there – full of trolls. W: It’s hard to be precise, though. Alternate universes don’t stay put. Trying to send him to a specific place is sort of like, like… trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it. Which is a weird image and you should all just forget it. A: It’s possible that he’s in the land of perpetual Wednesday, or the crazy melty land, or, you know, the world without shrimp. T: There’s a world without shrimp? I’m allergic.

G: I cringe to think what the place would have looked like if I’d been away for longer than three days. B: Well, maybe we would have had time to clean it up. You know, if Willow used some magicks to help. G: Yes, ’cause nothing could possibly go wrong with that.

Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers