Showtime

Writers: David Fury Director : Michael Grossman Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Michelle Trachtenberg as Dawn Summers, James Marsters as Spike, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg. Main guest stars : Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles, Tom Lenk as Andrew, Iyari Limon as Kennedy, Clara Bryant as Molly, Camden Toy as The Ubervamp, Indigo as Rona, Felicia Day as Vi, Amanda Fuller as Eve. Original broadcast date : January 7, 2003

My one-line description: Buffy’s Slayer School. Where you learn everything, even telepathy.

A coach bus stops at Sunnydale station, and a young, unassuming girl steps off. As the bus drives away, she goes to a public phone and searches through the phone book, under the letter “S”. She finds that the page she’s looking for has been ripped out… She looks up to see a Bringer waving a knife at her. As she turns, she notices there are two more Bringers standing between two parked buses. She falls to the ground, paralyzed with terror – but then something grabs the two Bringers and punches them. It’s Buffy. She takes care of the two Bringers, then turns her attention to the first one. He turns and runs, as she calls after him that he should pick on someone her own size. She flings one of the Bringers’ daggers at him, and it lands straight in his back. “Rona, right?” Buffy says to the girl as she goes over to her. Rona, still scared, remarks she was told she’d be safe here. Buffy replies that she’s safe, at least until she gets attacked again. “Again?” Rona says, appalled. “Welcome to the Hellmouth”, Buffy says.

In Willow’s bedroom, the redhead is lying on the floor, trying to get some sleep. Kennedy says she would be more comfortable up in bed with her, but Willow is… reticent, to say the least. Kennedy asks off-handedly how many more girls will be coming, and Willow says that there will be just one more. The young SIT muses that things could get ugly, with all these girls and just one bathroom. Willow wonders whether Kennedy grew up in a large family, but Kennedy says that she only had one half-sister, and her bathroom was in a different wing. “Your house had wings?” says an astounded Willow. Kennedy embarrassedly hints at her family being rich, then quickly changes the topic to Willow’s magic, which she finds “new agey”. Obviously uncomfortable, Willow replies that it’s definitely old-agey, and says they should try to get some sleep. “If I wanted to sleep, I’d be downstairs with the other girls”, Kennedy says teasingly.

Downstairs, Molly is talking an earful to the other SIT’s, eagerly listening to her as she talks about the deceased Annabelle and the Turok Han. From the sofa where he’s trying to sleep, Xander remarks that the SIT’s may be able to go without sleep, but he needs his 90 minutes. Andrew, still tied to a chair, asks that they either keep the chatter down, or speak up so he can hear them – he’s bored. In walks Buffy and Rona, and the Slayer quickly makes the introductions. Giles and Anya (bearing another sleeping bag for Rona) arrive from the kitchen. While Molly and Rona go get something to eat for the new SIT, Buffy announces that Rona had the Bringers waiting for her at the bus station, and says that she needs a way to kill the First – no, to hurt him. Bad. Giles and Anya reports that their research turned up very little. Buffy asks if they found a way to kill the Turok-Han; Andrew interrupts, asking how she’ll get to Spike with the Ubervamp guarding him. Buffy hates to admit it, but he has a point.

Eve, a blonde SIT, wonders why they want to free Spike – isn’t he the vampire who killed a lot of people? Buffy tries to explain, but gives it up, saying it’s complicated. Three SIT’s ask whether there’s some sort of plan, and she says they’re working on it. Giles points out that there’s an oracle they could consult, called Beljox’s Eye. Anya isn’t too keen on the idea, but Buffy pleads with her to do it – Spike’s time is running out.

Still tied to a cave wall, Spike looks like hell, battered and almost unconscious. A Bringer approaches with a knife, and suddenly the vampire swings up his legs, latches on to the fiend’s neck and breaks it. He breaks his bonds and knocks out another Bringer, then makes a break for it. He runs down the cave, then runs into Buffy, who smiles at him – he smiles back, almost insane with joy, and moves forward to greet her… and is pulled back by his leather restraints. It was only a dream. The First/Buffy remarks that he’s been thinking about her again, and says he should give it up – they can’t win. Spike begins muttering to himself, and the First/Buffy moves in closer to hear what he’s saying. “She will come for me”, Spike whispers. “No… I won’t”, the First/Buffy says in a soft voice.

It’s daytime, and Giles and Anya are in an alley confronting a demon called Torg, who is emptying garbage cans from the restaurant he works at. Apparently Torg has some “history” with Anyanka, who rejected him. Anya promises to have sex with him if he gives them the information they came for. Torg is a bit disgusted, what with her being human now. Giles steps in and says that if he cooperates, Buffy won’t kill him or destroy the restaurant. After mulling it over a moment, Torg slashes his hand with a barb sticking out of the other one, and turns his arm towards the alley. He speaks a few words, and a portal appears. “There’s your stinking gateway, Anyanka”, he says. “Don’t let it hit you on the way out.” Giles and Anya step through the portal… and emerge in a dark dimension. Giles wonders where Beljox’s Eye is. “Here”, a voice answers. They come face to face with a kind of huge ball covered in eyes, contained within a kind of cage…

At the Summers house, the phone rings and Willow answers it. Her face lights up when she realizes it’s someone from the Coven, but she grows serious as the person at the other end relays some important information. Sometime later, Xander unties Andrew from his chair as Buffy tells him the ex-villain that they don’t have time to babysit a hostage. However, if he tries to run… “Ever seen the movie Misery?” she asks ominously. After commenting on the movie a moment, Andrew gets her drift. Willow walks in and informs Buffy that another SIT has arrived in town two days ago, and is staying at the Sunspot Motel – they didn’t know about it because her Watcher was killed before he could inform them. Commenting that there are still a few hours of daylight left, Buffy leaves with Xander to fetch the SIT. As they leave, Dawn asks Willow how much help another scared SIT will be.

Meanwhile, the SIT’s are training in the basement. Eve wonders what they’re all doing here – she’s never seen a real vampire, or even slain one. Another SIT speaks up, saying she saw a vampire once –on a photograph, and a blurry one at that. Eve is convinced that none of them is ready to become the Slayer, but Kennedy argues that she feels she is. Nora wants to make sure she understands – a Slayer is activated when the other dies, right? The SIT who saw a vampire in a picture says she heard there was another Slayer out there, but Molly thinks it doesn’t make sense. Eve notes that Buffy can’t live forever and that one of them will be called. The girls talk about how unprepared or too young they might be. Eve points out all they can do is sit around and wait for each other to die.

At the Sunspot motel, Buffy knocks on the door of the room the SIT is staying in. As she gets no answer, Xander peers through the window, and suddenly urges Buffy to break down the door. They enter and find a girl lying face down in a pool of blood. Buffy notes that she’s cold and has been dead for a few days. They turn the body around – it’s Eve.

At Buffy’s place, “Eve” tells the other SIT’s that she doesn’t think the Slayer can protect them from the First…

Andrew is being a pest, asking Dawn why the Slayer is always a girl and saying that Buffy wouldn’t be so tough if there were a male ninja Slayer. He then asks her why they’re trying to save Spike, who’s a killer. Dawn replies that Spike was being controlled by the First, and anyway he has a soul now. Andrew says that he could be of use, since he’s an evil genius. After asking him what he could do to help, Dawn finally loses patience and tells him Buffy said she could kill him if he keeps talking. Andrew looks a bit afraid, but then marvels at the fact that Dawn has “license to kill”, like James Bond. Dawn looks at him as though he’s an extraterrestrial. A frustrated Andrew complains that he feels alone. “Then maybe you shouldn’t have killed your only friend, she replies coldly before leaving.

Buffy enters the house in a whirl, and Dawn, Willow and Andrew, concerned, follow her as she heads for the basement. “Get away from them!” she shouts as she climbs down the stairs. The SIT’s are confused, but she goes straight to Eve, demanding again that she get away from the others. Xander informs the gang that it’s not Eve – Eve is dead. “Eve” smiles and turns to the SIT’s, saying it’s been fun spending the past few nights with them, she’s learned a lot. “Shut up and get out!” Buffy orders. “Eve” warns that she’ll be sending a friend that evening, and then vanishes in a flash of light.

In the other dimension, Giles and Anya listen as the Eye of Beljox tells them that there’s no way to kill the First – it always was and it always be. Giles asks why the First chose to appear now, and the Eye responds that a disruption in the life of the Chosen One has caused it. To Giles’ question as to what has caused the disruption, the Eye answers “The Slayer”.

In the Summers dining room, the SIT’s and the Scoobies are sitting around the table, discussing “Eve”. The SIT’s are frightened and unsure that they’ll be able to fight the First. Buffy says they have to stick together while they wait for Giles and Anya to come back with answers. Xander mentions that the Ubervamp is coming for them, and they need a plan. Buffy acknowledges that the Ubervamp probably doesn’t need an invite to come in, and asks Willow if she can perform magic to erect a barrier. Willow accepts, albeit reluctantly. The SIT’s aren’t convinced, and start second-guessing everything Buffy’s said, until the meeting becomes chaotic. Buffy stares at Willow for a moment, and the two get up and leave for the kitchen. As Willow passes Xander, he seems startled and blurts out “What?”, then joins the two girls in the kitchen. The Scoobies just stand there in silence while the SIT’s argue in the dining room.

In the cavern, “Eve” orders the Ubervamp to take them all, except Buffy. As he leaves, she morphs into Buffy and goes over to Spike, cooing that she loves having him all to herself.

That night, Bringers surround the Summers home while inside, Buffy hands Rona a sword. She wonders what’s the point, to which Kennedy shows her the sword’s tip (har har). Obviously confident, Kennedy chooses a crossbow for herself and loads it. Andrew asks Buffy for a weapon, saying he has to defend himself too – after a beat, she hands him… a bottle of holy water.

In another room, Willow is trying to calm her nerves by floating a candle above her palm and chanting that she will face her fears. Kennedy interrupts, impressed with the show. She notes that she heard Willow once went bad voodoo and adds playfully that she’d like to see it. Willow coldly replies that she wouldn’t – last time she used magic, the First got inside her, and it was really bad. She felt the evil, she could taste it. “What does evil taste like?” Kennedy asks. “Kinda chalky”.

From the window, Dawn reports something is happening. The gang peers outside and sees the Bringers parting as the Ubervamp makes his way to the house.

As Willow chants a spell, the Ubervamp tries to break down the door. Suddenly, he succeeds and barges inside, but is kept at bay by a force field. He punches at it, trying to break it down, and Willow’s eyes go black as she struggles to keep the barrier up. She warns that she can’t hold it up for long, so Buffy orders everybody to run. They take off through the back door. Outside, the Bringers attack them, but Xander and Buffy keep them busy while the SIT’s escape. After Xander is narrowly saved from a Bringer’s knife by Buffy, the two friends also take off, with the Ubervamp in hot pursuit.

Giles and Anya emerge from the portal, looking bedraggled and confused. Anya isn’t sure what the Eye meant, and Giles explains that it’s not because Buffy died that things are bad, but because she lives. Understanding it all, Anya blames herself, Willow, Xander and Tara for bringing Buffy back from the grave.

Meanwhile, the group takes a break from running in the middle of a street. Knowing that the Turok Han isn’t far behind, Buffy orders Xander to take the others to a safe place. Dawn isn’t happy about this, but Buffy says she can lead the Ubervamp away from them. She takes Andrew’s vial of holy water and takes off. She quickly finds the Ubervamp, and drives a hard kick into him. He doesn’t look too impressed – until she throws the bottle of holy water at his face, scarring and burning him. Now angry, he throws her into a car windshield; however, she quickly rallies and runs off, hoping to lead him away from the SITs. But as she looks behind her, she sees… nothing.

Xander leads the gang to a construction site (Public library, opening May 2003). As they enter a large, open area surrounded by scaffoldings, Willow orders everyone to take positions. The SITs aren’t sure of what’s happening, and Rona thinks the Ubervamp may have already killed Buffy. “Or it could just skip that part and come straight here”, Kennedy remarks, as the Ubervamp makes his entry…

The fiend looks around and growls, knowing down some steel pipes to show his strength, as the SITs look on in terror. Suddenly, bright spotlights click on, and the SITs turn around to see Buffy, standing on a ledge, looking tall and powerful. Kennedy quietly raises her crossbow to shoot Ubie, but Willow tells her to just watch – it’s showtime. As they back up and climb the scaffolds to get a better view, Buffy jumps down with a somersault and approaches Ubie, saying that now it’s her turn, and she’s gonna kick his ass – the Slayers are what vampires have nightmares about. “Welcome to the Thunderdome”, she says. “Two men enter, one man leaves”, Andrew mutters from the scaffolds.

As they start fighting, Ubie quickly gets the upper hand, despite Buffy getting in some good hits. Up in the scaffolds, Dawn looks at Willow and realizes all of this was planned. Willow stays silent, neither confirming not denying it.

In the Summers dining room, the SIT’s and the Scoobies are sitting around the table, discussing “Eve”. The SIT’s are frightened and unsure that they’ll be able to fight the First. Buffy says they have to stick together while they wait for Giles and Anya to come back with answers. Xander mentions that the Ubervamp is coming for them, and they need a plan. Buffy acknowledges that the Ubervamp probably doesn’t need an invite to come in, and asks Willow if she can perform magic to erect a barrier. Willow accepts, albeit reluctantly. The SIT’s aren’t convinced, and start second-guessing everything Buffy’s said, until the meeting becomes chaotic. Buffy stares at Willow. “Willow, can you hear me?” she asks telepathically. “Yes”, Willow replies by the same means. Quickly, Buffy mentally explains to her that they’re losing the SITs and she has an idea. She asks Willow to join her in the kitchen and grab Xander on the way. “Xander”, Willow transmits as she passes him. “What?” he says, startled, before going to the kitchen with the two girls. There, Buffy explains she has to kill the ubervamp to get Spike out of the cave, but she needs the girls to see her do it. Willow notes that the house isn’t the best venue for a smackdown, but Xander says he knows just the place…

Back to the battle, where it’s obvious that Buffy is in trouble. Ubie slams her into the scaffold on which Kennedy is standing, causing the SIT to drop her crossbow. Buffy picks it up and shoots at the vampire, who merely ignores the bolt sticking out from his chest. Buffy whacks at him with some steel pipes, but he picks her up and knocks her around, before throwing her up some scaffoldings. As she regroups, Ubie picks her up by the throat. The SITs are panicking and want to do something, but again Willow orders them to watch and wait. Suddenly, Buffy gets an idea – she retrieves the crossbow bolt from Ubie’s chest… and sticks it in his eye. He roars in pain and lets go of her, and she really lets him have it – kick, punch, kick, punch, until Ubie is dazed. Buffy then grabs a wire hanging nearby and starts strangling the fiend with it. Sure enough, it goes through his neck like a blade and he falls to dust.

“See? Dust, just like the rest of them”, Buffy says to the SITs as she wipes the dust from her hands. She tells them she doesn’t know what’s coming, but she knows it’ll be hard and painful, just like this. But in the end, if they do their part, they’ll be the ones left standing. “Here endeth the lesson”, she says. The SITs start climbing down the scaffolds, looking at one another with a renewed sense of confidence. Above them, “Eve” stares, her face unreadable.

In the cavern, Spike, still tied up and still looking quite battered, looks up as Buffy comes up to him, bearing a knife. “A knife, now, is it?” he mutters, saying that she can’t hurt him, she’s just a bloody figment. However, his words trail off as Buffy uses the knife to cut his bonds. “Oh”, he says, as he puts it all together. She looks at him without a word, emotion in her eyes. He puts his arm around her and she helps him move along as they leave the cave. In silence.

Summary by OttsFiveByFive

Special thanks to www.leoffonline.com

Quotes

(B=Buffy, X-Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, D=Dawn, A=Anya, G=Giles, Aw=Andrew)

B: Try picking on someone my own size.

Rona: You’re her! B: Her is me.

B: Next time you’re attacked… Rona: Whoa, whoa…next time? You saying I’m gonna get attacked again? B: Welcome to the hellmouth.

W: I’m OK. I just, I like it down here. It’s firm. Kennedy: Funny, you look a little uncomfortable. Or… is it just me?

Kennedy: Her bedroom was in another wing of the house. W: Wing? Your house had wings? Kennedy: Yeah. Just a couple. A few. Our summer home in the Hamptons didn’t have any at all. Well, one, actually. W: Huh. Well, that’s, that’s … huh.

Kennedy: What’s your story, Willow, I mean, witchcraft? Wow, that sounds new-agey. W: No, it’s safe to say that what I practice is definitely old-agey.

X: Maybe we can save the maybes for a more dayish part of the day, girls. Potential slayers can function without sleep. Me, I’m no good without my usual 90 minutes.

Aw: I’m bored. Episode I bored.

Rona: Um…why is that guy tied to a chair? X: The question you’ll soon be asking is, “Why isn’t he gagged?”

Molly: I’m a bit peckish meself. Rona: Bit what as well? A: That’s English for “hungry.” Rona: Oh, here I thought “hungry” was English for “hungry.”

A: Tried to dig up anything useful from the demon community. X: They’re a community now? What’s next, the Ladies’ Auxiliary?

B: It’s complicated, Chloe. Chloe: I’m Chloe, she’s Eve.

G: Beljoxa’s Eye. X: And exactly what part of town is that avenue in?

B: What is Botox’s eye? G: Beljoxa’s Eye.

G: You’re still friends in the fold. Murderous acquaintances, anyway.

S: She will come for me. She will come for me. She will come for me.

Torg: You broke my heart, Anyanka. A: Don’t be so dramatic, Torg. You don’t even have a heart. Six spleens, two stomachs, half a brain maybe, but no heart.

Torg: I remember, you wore pink. A: Those were entrails.

Torg: Ugh, please, you’re human. The way you look now, I wouldn’t touch you for all the kittens in Korea.

A: You’re rejecting my offer of sexual bribery? What am I, a leper in this town? I can’t even give it away!

Torg: Come back when you are a leper.

A: It’s the hair, right? Not attractive?

Aw: Ow! Watch it! That’s my joystick hand. X: I’m not gonna touch that one.

B: I don’t exactly know what to do with you, except that we don’t have time to babysit a hostage. X: Especially a hostage that’s gotten more than a little ripe.

B: So, I’m here to tell you, if you try anything, try to run…Did you ever see the movie Misery? Aw: Six times. But the book was scarier than the movie ’cause instead of crushing his foot with a sledge hammer, Kathy Bates chops it off with…I’ll be good.

B: The clerk said it’s the only check-in they’ve had in a week. Tourism must be down. X: Right in the middle of apocalypse season.

B: It’s OK. We’re friendly. And we have eyes.

Aw: I think a guy slayer would be badass. Like…like if there was this ninja, a guy slayer would be like, “you may be silent, but this’ll shut you up.” Hiya.

Aw: And also, why’s she so about saving Spike? He’s a worse killer than me by… a way lot.

Aw: I used to be an evil genius. Hello? D: And what was your genius thing? Aw: Well, um, raising demons mostly. OK, so, not for now, but also there was planning. There were, um, blueprints. I can be in this, kicking it righteous.

D: Buffy said if you talked enough, I’m allowed to kill you. Aw: Not even. D: Even.

Aw: License to kill, huh? Pretty cool. You know, Timothy Dalton never got his props ‘cause he came in at the end of an old regime, but he had it goin’ on. He went rogue with the Broccolis. They were just treading water, stylistically. D: Is there a language that you’re speaking?

Aw: Do you wanna play “Kevin Bacon”?

Aw: I need to go wash up again.

Beljoxa’s Eye: It cannot be fought, it cannot be killed. The First Evil has been and always will be. Since before the universe was born, long after there is nothing else, it will go on. G: I refuse to believe that. There must be some way to destroy it. Beljoxa’s Eye: What, am I talking to myself here? There’s no way.

Beljoxa’s Eye: The eye sees not the future, only the truth of the now and before. A: Yes, we’ve all got that…it’s called memory.

Beljoxa’s Eye: The mystical forces surrounding the chosen line have become irrevocably altered, become unstable, vulnerable. A: Something The First did? Beljoxa’s Eye: The First Evil did not cause the disruption, only seized upon it to extinguish the lives of the chosen forever. G: Then what has caused the disruption? What…what is responsible for letting this happen? Beljoxa’s Eye: The slayer.

B: In the mean time, we need to stick together. OK, we’re stronger that way. We cannot afford to fall apart now. Aw: She’s right. Where would the Justice League have been if they hadn’t put their differences aside to stop the Imperium and his shape-shifting alien horde? B: Don’t help me.

W: Facing my fear. I’m facing my fear. Hear that, Fear? I’m facing you.

Kennedy: Oh, right. Heard this voodoo once turned you into the big scary. Big, scary Willow…that’s something I’d almost like to see… W: No, you wouldn’t. Kennedy: I said “almost.”

W: Last time I tried using magic, The First…it turned it around on me. Got inside. I felt it just surging through me, every fiber of my being. Pure, undiluted evil. I could taste it. Kennedy: How’s evil taste? W: A little chalky.

Aw: Um, deflector shields…deflector shields up!

G: It’s not because she died. The Beljoxa’s Eye was quite clear about that in its enigmatic way. It’s because she lives. Again. Buffy’s not responsible for that. A: Oh. Oh. Willow and me and Xander and Tara. We’re the ones who brought Buffy back. We’re…we’re the reason The First is here, the reason those girls were murdered. No, it’s our fault. The world would’ve been better off if Buffy had just stayed dead.

Aw: I’m moving. Climbing’s not my thing. I got a inner ear condition. X: Is falling your thing? ’Cause if you don’t pick up the pace, I’m gonna come up there and drop your ass. Aw: Way to keep up morale in a crisis. No wonder Buffy’s the leader.

W: Just watch. It’s show time.

B: I’m the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now, you and me are gonna show ’em why. It’s time. Welcome to Thunderdome. Aw: Two men enter. One man leaves.

B: See? Dust. Just like the rest of ’em. I don’t know what’s coming next, but I do know it’s gonna be just like this. Hard. Painful. But in the end it’s gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we’ll be the ones left standing. Here endeth the lesson.

Please credit Hellmouth Central with these quotes when using them for any publication.