Hugs and Fritos. — “A Hole in the World” : The Rant
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Warning: Spoilerish to the amount of 10.
DISCLAIMER: This week’s edition contains language that may not be suitable for everyone.
Welcome ya little bastards to another rant! This week Eric and I discuss “A Hole in the World”!
*Eric hears a shuffling sound out side the door. Eric and Matt dawn the respective Leather Dusters and investigate*
Eric: It’s that bastard who keeps shoving papers through our door.
Matt: Remember Atlanta?
Eric: *grabs Matt’s Hand* I thought you had forgotten.
*Matt unwraps a chicken wire from his sleeve and slides it out. Eric grabs it the other side*
*Matt and Eric decapitate the unsuspecting Mailman*
Eric: Take that, you bill delivering Nancy boy!
Matt: I bet he wishes we just had a dog to chew on his balls.
Eric: Yeah, eventually they are gonna stop delivering our mail.
*Eric snaps his finger and an unnamed flunkie throws the mail man on a larger pile of mail men*
Matt: Done and done.
Eric: I was wrong. Killing a mail man didnt make me feel better.
Matt: Freddie’s dead….the final nightmare!
Eric: *cries* I need a hug.
Matt: Hold me!
*Eric and Matt embrace balling like little girls*
Eric: Why Joss why!
Matt: Ok…ok…calm down. We must wipe away the tears and be professional about this.
Eric: I dont wanna!
Matt: NEITHER DO I! *cries again*
Eric: *joins Matt in the crying* I wanna be selfish, Buffy Style. Couldn’t they have just killed Angel again? Or Spike?
Matt: Or how about anyone except the LONE main-cast chick on the show! I mean, come on….now it’s just “testosterone Wednesday”.
Eric: Um, Matt…
Matt: Yeah?
Eric: Why are you dressed like Evil Fred? It’s disturbing.
Matt: But…but….look at the AWESOME makeup! *prances a bit*
Eric: I know, but Matt…Um, I hate to tell you this but…
LAYTEX CATSUITS LOOK VERY DISTURBING ON MEN!
Matt: But look….skin tight! *snap*
*vomits*
Eric: You buldge in the wrong spots.
Matt: Oh, fine. You’re no fun.
*strips off catsuit and puts on a t-shirt, while leaving the makeup on*
Eric: Umm, Matt…pants….and underwear. *taps his foot impatiently*
Matt: You are such a prude.
….FINE.
*puts on panties and a pain of jeans*
Matt: Good?
Eric: Good enough.
*Eric sits on the couch with tissue, chocolate ice cream and a Hardees thick burger, and tosses Matt his bon-bons.*
Matt: Nummy.
Eric: Time for the comfort food. *cries again*
Matt: I just want to punch Joss in the face like Lorne did to Eve. What a great segway.
Eric: I have to go ahead and say this, last night’s episode was one of the best Angel episodes ever.
Matt: I will have to agree.
Eric: Even though it kept ripping your heart out.
Matt: It went all Gentlemen on me. I think there have been 3 episodes this season that all belong in the 10 of best episodes ever. And this is definitely one of them.
Eric: Yes. Almost every scene in the episode was a powerful scene. Especially where Lorne starts singing ‘you are my sunshine’, and then when Fred starts to sing. Lorne reads her and spins around to catch her.
Matt: Yeah…and the scene with the sword in Angel’s chest.
Eric: Too Funny. Full of ups and downs. You could see at that point that Angel and Spike were bonding again.
Matt: Yeah, I like seeing Spike and Angel getting along. That alone deserves an extra season…just to see them kicking ass together.
Eric: They would be an unstoppable force. They are the dynamic duo without the gay Robin suit.
Matt: And did I or did I not say KNOX=EVIL? I said it at the very start!
Eric: Yes, the evil bastard. I want to beat him with a liquid Nitrogen canister.
Matt: Yeah, what about Gunn killing Knox? Don’t you think there was more motive than just because of Fred dying? I think he did it also, because Gunn was partly responsible for this happening.
Eric: I don’t think Knox is dead.
Matt: Well, if he isn’t dead….he’s pretty fucked up.
Eric: I don’t think he is dead because Wes deserves the kill, Joss wouldn’t take that from him.
Matt: Oh, who knows…Joss is such a bastard, he may take it away from Wes. He killed off Fred for God’s sake!
Eric: No, I’ll steal his panties again if he does…but Fred could come back, dont you think?
Matt: Sure. Why not. It’s not like this is CSI: Miami.
Eroc: Damn right why not. I can’t be without my Fred. Just like Angel said, and I am gonna say it again…Winifred Burkle. Not this Girl, Not this Season.
Matt: Yeah, these scenes are almost too much to take thinking back on them.
Eric: GOD…last night had many powerful lines and scenes….
Matt: Yes, we’ve been through this.
*rewinding*
Eric: Almost every scene in the episode was a powerful scene.
*forwarding*
Matt: See?
Eric: You are an ass.
Matt: I want to see what Evil-Demon-thing-that-looks-like-Fred is gonna be like next week.
Eroc: Probably will make evil Willow look like Season 1 Willow.
Matt: Might be. Might not. Might. All I want to know is….WHY????!!!
*Truman walks in*
Truman: Don’t ask questions!
Eric: DONT YOU EVEN START THAT AGAIN!
Matt: Sorry.
Eric: By the way, Truman, how long has it been since you got laid?
Truman: Eh….Me and Catherine The Great. In other words, awhile.
Eric: That’s right, now shut up and watch your hole.
Truman: I mean…quit asking questions!
Eric: Don’t make me Mailman you.
Truman: Fine, fine…I’m outta here. You people don’t even have Fritos in here.
Eric: *snickers at an inside joke*
*Truman walks out*
Eric: I bet Truman has been eating Fritos a long time. *snickers at his own inside joke*
Matt: Eric, people aren’t gonna get that.
Eric: My brother calls masterbation “eating fritos”.
Matt: *snickers*
*As Truman walks out, a single tear drops from his eye*
Eric: What did you think about the Wes/Fred relationship stuff?
Matt: What do you mean what do I think? “It was great while it lasted”???!
Eric: It was nice seeing them how we all knew they should be. Wes reading to Fred…Oh My God. And him telling her that he loved her before they even met.
Matt: Yeah, cause that makes sense. omething tells me Wes has a little mummy dust in his brain.
Eric: What do you mean?
Matt: “I loved you before I met you.”
Eric: What’s wrong with that?
Matt: What is he, a part of Savage Garden?
Eric: Wes was telling her that they are soulmates.
Matt: Right. Right. If you believe that sort of thing.
Eric: If you are with your soulmate you do. It’s one of those things you have to feel to truely believe in it.
Matt: Yeah, I guess. What if you think your lucky sock is your soulmate?
Eric: It could be, if your lucky sock has a soul.
Matt: …Cause sometimes it feels that way. Sometimes it talks to me.
Eric: Actually Matt, I think that is becaue you left your meds in Atlanta.
Matt: I still think that rat fink Riggins stole ’em.
Eric: Probably. He has been rather normal lately.
Matt: Yeah…that’s not normal that he’s normal. So anyway…yeah, Fred and Wes were awesome together. She’s dead, we’re crying….and Joss is a heart-wrenching asshole.
Eric: That sums it up…All and alls?
Matt: Go for it.
Eric: All and all, this is by far the best episode of the season. Well-written, well directed, and Wes shot someone who was a total dumb ass. I have to give this episode an 11.
Matt: All in all, I agree that this was the best episode of the season. Joss’ dialogue was tremendous, every scene was a knockout….I give it a 10.
That’s it for this week…we’ll see you next week as we rant about “Shells”!
Matt’s Rating: 10.0
Eric’s wonky rating: 11.0
Overall: 10.5?
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