Teacher's Pet

Written by: David Greenwalt
Directed by: Bruce Seth Green

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles, David Boreanaz as Angel.

Guest stars : Ken Lerner as Principal Flutie, Musetta Vander as «Natalie French», Jackson Price as Blaine, Jean Speegle Howard as the real Natalie French, William Monaghan as Dr. Gregory.

At the Bronze, Buffy is irked to once again fall face to face with Angel. He warns her of another demon, a “fork guy”, in town, then gives her his leather coat ­ she¹s cold - and leaves. The next day in biology class, the teacher, Dr. Gregory, endears himself to Buffy by telling her he wants to prove everyone who doubts her ability to succeed in school wrong.

The next day, Dr. Gregory is missing and his substitute, Natalie French, is a gorgeous lady with obvious sex appeal; practically every guy in school, including Xander, has his hormones in an uproar. During class, she asks for volunteers to help her make egg sacks like those of the Praying Mantis. Every male in the class eagerly comes forward, but she selects school jock Blaine to help the first day and Xander the next day.

That night, Buffy goes hunting for ‘fork guy’ in the park. She finds and fights him, but he runs off before she can stake him. As she’s heading home, she spots the vampire moving in to attack Ms. French, who just confidently smiles at him until he runs away, terrified, leaving Buffy quite perplexed. The next day, Ms. French is supervising the students writing an exam, Buffy, late to the class, peers through the window on the door. Ms. French senses her presence and turns her head 180 degrees to look at her.

Freaked out, Buffy runs away.

At the library, Buffy tries unsuccessfully to convince Giles and Willow of what she saw. Buffy then does some research and finds that Ms. French is actually a giant praying mantis. Giles calls a friend he knew in England who encountered the same creature and is told that the only way to kill it is by dismemberment. While Giles records bat sonar sounds, which allegedly makes fun with a praying mantis¹s nervous system, Buffy seeks out Xander to warn him, but he doesn¹t believe her, accusing her of being jealous.

That evening, Xander goes over to Ms. French’s house to work on the egg sacks. She serves him (spiked) champagne, then comes on to him. As the drug takes its effect, she reverts back to her real shape and drags Xander to the basement. When he wakes up, he discovers a terrified Blaine locked up next to him and the she-mantis preparing egg sacks. Blaine tells Xander that he’s seen her take a guy, lay her eggs, mate with him and bite off his head.

The praying mantis comes for Xander; he tries to escape, but she ties him up, looms close and asks that he kiss her.

Meanwhile, Buffy, Willow and Giles have gotten Natalie French¹s address from school records and arrive at her house. But they discover that the real Ms. French is an old woman whose identity the she-mantis stole, which leaves them back at square one. Buffy goes down into the sewers to find the fork vampire and bullies him into leading them to the she-mantis’s house. When they find the right house, she crashes through the window of the basement and saves Xander and Blaine. Giles plays the bat sonar and Buffy chops the mantis to pieces. ThenŠ Willow innocently mentions the fact that the mantis only mates with virgins.

The next day in biology, a new teacher starts the class. Buffy picks up Dr. Gregory’s glasses and puts them away in the closet. The camera then slides down to show a sack of hatching eggs under one of the shelves.

Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac -
“Although the ending was hillarious, the plot drags and is more-so annoying than scary or funny.”

DJ Angelus -
“Episode moved too slowly and I never really got sucked in.”

Quotes

(B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, A=Angel, C=Cordelia, PF=Principal Flutie)

B: Destructo-girl, that’s me.

Blayne: A girl’s really got to have something to go with me.
X: Something like a lobotomy?

X: He’s buff. She never said anything about him being buff.

B: Okay, I’ll give you improved marks for that one. Ripping the throat out - it’s a strong visual, it’s not cryptic.

X: It’s a balmy night, no need to be trading clothing out there.

A: I didn’t pay attention.
B: To someone with a big fork?

B: That’s all Cryptic Guy said: Fork Guy.
G: I think there are too many guys in your life.

B: Bright, sunny, beautiful - how ever can we escape this torment?
G: Really.

X: It’s funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.

X: Those who can do. Those who can’t laugh at those who can do.

X: This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear but… where did they put his head?
W: Good point - I *didn’t* want to hear that.

B: Yes, I lied, I’m a bad person, let’s move on.

G: Yes, she’s lovely… in a common, extremely well-proportioned way.

B: I’m an un-dead monster that can shave with my hand - how many things am *I* afraid of?

PF: Don’t say dead, or decapitated, or decomposing. I’d stay away from D words altogether.

C: One minute you’re in your normal life, and then, ‘who’s in the fridge?’

C: I’m not saying we should kill a teacher every day so I can lose weight.

B: Her fashion sense screams, ‘Predator.’
W: It’s the shoulder pads.

W: He’s got a crush on a giant insect!

G: I don’t care what time it is, unlock his cell, unstrap him, and bring him to the phone!

G: This computer invasion that Willow’s performing on the coroner’s office - one assumes that it is entirely legal?
B&W: Entirely. Of course.
G: Right. Wasn’t here, didn’t see it, couldn’t have stopped you.

X: What kind of a girly name is Angel anyway?

X: Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn’t require ointments the next day.

W: Got it. Coroner’s report, complete with–yuck–color pictures.

G: You were right, all along, about everything…. Well, no, you weren’t right about your mother coming back as a pekinese.

B: In the vid library.There are no books, but it’s dark and musty, you’ll feel right at home.

G: Recording bat sonar is something soothingly akin to having one’s teeth drilled.

B: What do we do now?
G: Abject prayer and supplication would spring to mind.

B: Bat sonar. Makes your whole nervous system go to hell. You can go there with it.

X: Just for the record, you were right, I’m an idiot, and God bless you.