Never Kill a Boy on the First Date
Written by: Rob Des Hotel & Dean Batali
Directed by: David Semel
Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles. Guest stars : Mark Metcalf as The Master, Andrew J. Ferchland as the Anointed One, Christopher Wiehl as Owen, Paul-Felix Montez as False Anointed One.
Original broadcast date : March 31, 1997
In the cemetery, Giles critics Buffy¹s slaying technique, which leads to some argument. But then he finds a ring left behind by the vampire she just dusted The next day, at the library, they discover that the ring points to The Order of Aurelius. They¹re about to discuss it further, but Owen, a shy student Buffy finds quite cute, comes into the library; uneasy banter ensues.
In the cafeteria, Buffy tries to further her cause by going to sit next to Owen, who’s all by himself. But she has to compete with Cordelia, who ends up knocking Buffy and her tray to the ground, before asking Owen if he¹d like to go to the Bronze. Owen rejects Cordelia and asks out Buffy instead.
However, Giles has other plans an ancient prophecy tells of the Anointed One rising that night and leading the Slayer to Hell. For Buffy, that means a boring and uneventful patrol duty in the cemetery with Giles, waiting for said Anointed One to appear.
When nothing happens, Giles gives Buffy permission to go to the Bronze. There, a bad surprise is waiting - Cordelia is having a slow and close dance session with Owen. Disappointed, Buffy leaves.
Meanwhile, a shuttle bus holding five people including a very annoying prophet character encounters a vampire in the middle of the road, swerves to avoid it and crashes into a tree. The passengers are soon surrounded and killed by the vampires.
The next day, Owen finds Buffy and asks her out. As Buffy is happily preparing to leave for the Bronze, Giles shows up with a newspaper and tells her of the five people who died. He insists that they go patrol, but Buffy adamantly refuses and goes on her date with Owen, saying “If the Apocalypse comes, beep me.” Giles goes to the funeral home by his lonesome and stumbles across some vampires. He wards them off with a cross, runs into the funeral home and barricades himself. Luckily, Willow and Xander are in the neighbourhood and find him as they peer thourgh the window of the room he is barricaded in. He gives them instructions to go get help while he tries to stay alive.
At the Bronze, Angel confronts Buffy, wondering why she’s not with her friends and doing something about the threat of the Anointed. When Owen comes back with drinks and Buffy uneasily introduces everyone, Angel leaves. Xander and Willow then arrive, and subtly tell a slightly miffed Buffy that there is trouble at the Funeral Home. Owen wants to go, but she tells him to stay. Owen follows anyway to the Funeral Home. She puts her friends in charge of babysitting him and hides the three of them in a Observatory, while she goes to find Giles.
After barricading the door shut, Willow, Xander and Owen have the displeasure of meeting the annoying prophet-guy from the bus, who is now a vampire and is bragging that he has been chosen. They promptly break down their barricade and run out. Buffy, who meanwhile has found Giles (hiding on top of a corpse in a refrigerated compartment, tells them to get out, while she take care of the self-Appointed One. She goes back to the storage room where Giles is, looking for a weapon, but finds that the vampire has followed her. Giles, thrown by the vampire at the incinerator, hits the “on” button with his head and sinks to the ground, unconscious.
Buffy is almost caught in a dead end by the vampire, but is saved when Owen comes in and tackles him. The vampire slams Owen’s head against a metal door and lets him fall to the ground. Buffy is furious that the vampire killed her date and fights like mad. She succeeds in throwing the vampire onto a slab and pushing him into the incinerator. Just then, Owen comes to, having missed all the fun. Buffy offers to walk him home, but he refuses and Willow and Xander promise that they¹ll make sure that he gets there safely.
The next day, Owen approaches Buffy wanting to go on another adventure. When she realizes he only wants to date her for the thrill of the fight, she turns him down. After he walks away, Buffy finds Giles and he tries to comfort her, telling her that he¹d never planned on being a Watcher, that he had other plans in life. Both of them say that at least, they got rid of the Anointed One.
In the Master’s lair, the Master welcomes a young boy from the bus…the Anointed.
Summary by OttsFiveByFive.
Episode Ratings
Mac -
“The Buffy/Giles relationship towards what Buffy can and can not do is the most interesting. Everything else doesn’t work for me.”
DJ Angelus -
“I thought it moved the season arc along nicely.”
Quotes
On A First Date
(B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, O=Owen, C=Cordelia)
B: We haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Buffy, and you’re history.
B: Giles, don’t mention it. It was my pleasure to make the world safe for humanity again.
G: It should simply be plunge and move on, plunge and move on…
B: That’s great - I kill ’em, you fence their stuff.
B: Two points for the Slayer, while the Watcher has yet to score.
B: See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things.
G: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.
G: While the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday…
G: I’ll just jump in my time machine, go back to the 12th century, and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
B: Okay, at this point, you’re abusing sarcasm.
B: I won’t wear my button that says, “I’m a Slayer. Ask me how!”
B: He’s not any guy, he’s more… Owen-y.
X: Sure, he’s got a certain Owen-osity.
O: Well, we could invite the chess club, but they drink, they start fights…
O: What, she doesn’t like to dance?
X: …You should probably know that Buffy doesn’t like to be kissed. Actually, she doesn’t like to be touched. As a matter of fact, don’t even look at her.
B: A cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer.
B: Clark Kent has a job. I just want to go on a date.
B: If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
X: He’s like Super Librarian. Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is the ultimate weapon.
C: Hello, salty goodness!
B: Prophecy, anointed one, yadda, yadda, yadda.
B: Bite me!
O: Are we going to see a dead body?
B: Possibly several.
G: It is you - oh, good.
G: They came after me, but I was more than a match for them.
B: Meaning?
G: I hid.
G: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires, and have a social life, I didn’t mean at the same time!
O: I’ve never seen a dead body before. Do they usually move?
O: He tried to bite me. What a sissy!
B: You killed my date!
O: Does anyone have an aspirin… or sixty?
O: I think I’ll just walk home… which way is home?
G: I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer.