The I in Team

Writer: David Fury Director: James A. Contner

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Marc Blucas as Riley Finn, James Marsters as Spike, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles.

Main guest stars : Amber Benson as Tara, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Lindsay Crouse as Professor Maggie Walsh, Leonard Roberts as Forrest Gates, Bailey Chase as Graham Miller, Jack Stehlin as Doctor Angleman, George Hertzberg as Adam. Original broadcast date : February 8, 2000

My one-line description: Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets the Borg.

Willow, Anya and Xander are playing poker and discussing Xander’s new job – selling nummy Boost bars. Xander brings up Buffy, and Willow says she’s probably out with Riley, her “spanking new boyfriend”. Anya blurts out that she enjoys spanking, and Xander suddenly wonders what the Initiative is up to. What the Initiative is up to is stalking Buffy. When they find her, she promptly beats them up, and Walsh appears, reporting that it took them 42 minutes to find her and it took her 28 seconds to get rid of them. Buffy modestly says she was lucky, and Walsh walks away; Riley and Graham compliment the Slayer, but Forrest doesn’t seem too happy… and neither does Professor Walsh. The next day at lunch, Buffy tells Willow about her performance the previous night, and assures her that she looks forward to seeing the Scoobies that evening at the Bronze – she misses them. Then, seeing Riley pick up a Twinkie for lunch, she promises to mete out punishment – to which Willow laments that everyone is getting spanked but her.

Giles goes to Spike’s new crypt to give the vampire the money he promised. He also tries to tell Spike that he could have a higher purpose in life, but Spike, not wanting anything to do with Buffy and friends anymore, throws him out. Meanwhile, Buffy goes on her first elevator ride to the Initiative. Buffy marvels at the size of the place when Maggie Walsh walks up with a visitor’s pass and some reading material on the Initiative. They tour “The Pit”, the place where research on HST’s is carried out and behaviour modification is done to them. Then they head to the armory, where Buffy picks up a $20,000 communications camera, or ComCan. It allows the Initiative to monitor what’s going on around a person, as well as his or her heart rate. After they’ve visited the HST containment area, Walsh presents Buffy with a pager and a security card. On campus, Tara tries to give Willow a crystal that belonged to her grandmother, but Willow is a bit uncomfortable accepting the gift. She also declines Tara’s invitation to come over that evening, saying she has a night out with some friends Tara might not be comfortable with. A disappointed Tara heads off to class… At the Initiative compound, Maggie Walsh lets herself in room 314, where her colleague Dr. Angleman is already at work. After commenting that Buffy is an “unnecessary risk”, to which Walsh agrees, he reveals that their “baby”, as Wlash calls it, has off-the-charts motor functions and reflexes. Walsh smiles at the creature on the table – a cybernetic being, half-man and half-machinery. “Almost time to wake up, Adam,” she says. “And I know you’re gonna make me proud.” At the Bronze, the Scoobies are anxiously waiting for Buffy, who is late. Finally, she shows up – along with Riley, Forrest and Graham. The Scoobies are obviously uncomfortable, and Anya takes Xander to the dance floor. While the Initiative boys are gone to get drinks, Buffy tells Willow that they were throwing her a party, making it impossible not to invite them. Willow answers that if she’d known, she would have invited someone, too. Buffy asks who, but Willow quickly backpedals. Then Buffy tells her that she’s now in the Initiative, but her friend warns her not to rush headlong without knowing what she’s getting into. Buffy brushes it off – and then her pager rings, and she and the Initiative guys leave. At the Initiative, Walsh and Angleman tell the commandos that they have a Polgara demon on the loose. Angleman warns them not to damage the demon’s arms, from which deadly bone skewers emerge during battle. Buffy asks why they can’t damage the arms, and Angleman responds that they need them for research. Then Buffy asks another question pertaining to the demon’s goals, and as she raises her hand to ask a third question, Walsh cuts it short, ordering Riley to take command. He divides his troops into four squads, reminding them that they are not to kill the demon. Willow goes over to Tara’s room and tells her that her night out abruptly ended. She asks Tara if it’s too late to do something; Tara just smiles and lets her in. Out on patrol, Buffy comments to Riley that Professor Walsh must hate her now, what with all the questions. Riley answers that Walsh just isn’t used to questions, and that it’s no big. Then he asks Buffy to concentrate on the mission at hand. Elsewhere, Forrest is very unhappy that Riley has put him in charge of his own team. He’s used to being Riley’s second-in-command, but now his job has gone to Buffy. As Graham tries to calm him down, they spot Spike (Hostile 17) going back to his crypt with some grocery bags. They send two men after him, but Spike flees; Graham manages to shoot him with a tracer before he disappears. They report this to Riley, but Buffy and her boyfriend are soon confronted with bigger matters – the Polgara demon. As they fight the demon, the scene alternates with shots of the two naked and having sex. After they’ve defeated the demon, Buffy asks Riley what he wants to do now… and the two indeed go make love. The scene is caught on a black-and-white TV screen at Initiative headquarters, and Maggie Walsh looks quite unhappy about what she’s seeing. Giles is sampling one of Xander’s Boost bars when Spike bursts through his front door, covered in a tarp. He reveals that the Initiative has been after him for hours, and that he needs help. Giles agrees to help him – but makes him cough up what’s left of the money he’d given him. Buffy and Riley wake up and start discussing military life and not asking too many questions. Just as she asks him what 314 is, his phone rings – it’s Maggie Walsh. She tells him there’s a situation, and he jumps up and leaves. When he arrives at headquarters, he peers through a window and spots door 314… Walsh shows up and sends him to meet up with the other guys. Then she goes into 314 and reports that Buffy has become a danger – she knows too much and has too much influence over Riley. They decide to move to the “contingency plan”. At Giles’ place, Xander realizes the thing that’s imbedded in Spike’s back is a tracer, and that they probably don’t have much time before the Initiative shows up. Meanwhile, Buffy and Willow arrive back at their dorm room at almost the same time, and chat uneasily about the previous night. Buffy’s pager goes off, and she leaves; then the phone rings – it’s Giles, who wants Willow’s help. At headquarters, Walsh gives Buffy an assignment that she says shouldn’t be too difficult. She does hand the Slayer a ComCan and a taser, just in case. Buffy hesitantly says that there are some things about the Initiative she still doesn’t understand; Walsh offers to talk about it when she gets back. At Giles’ place, the Watcher prepares to operate on a very drunk Spike. Willow does a spell to ionize the air, which should confuse the tracking system. As Willow’s spell starts working, the Scoobies’ hair stands on end… Elsewhere, Forrest reports to Riley that the tracker isn’t working correctly anymore. In an underground tunnel, Bufyf runs into two demons – whom she recognizes as a pair that was being operated on at the Initiative the previous day. She tries to shoot them, but the taser sparks and goes dead. As a gate behind her slams closed, Buffy realizes she’s trapped… Over at headquarters, Maggie Walsh watches as an axe appears in the ComCan’s field, and the heartbeat monitor slows down to become a flat line. Meanwhile, Forrest has found the general direction of the tracer, just when Giles has succeeded in retrieving it from Spike. Xander takes it and runs. Outside, a commando suddenly reports it’s headed right for them – but Spike is nowhere to be seen. Then, to Forrest’s puzzlement, it appeared to have gone right past them… Riley spots a sewer drain, and realizes the tracer was flushed. Meanwhile, Buffy, is still fighting the demons. One of them accidentally kills the other, and Buffy notices that the remaining one is standing in water. She tosses the taser in it, electrocuting the demon. Riley reports back to Maggie Walsh, who breaks the bad news to him – Buffy’s dead. As she puts on the act of feeling sorry for what happened, Riley spots Buffy’s face coming into focus on the monitors behind Walsh. Buffy tells the Professor that she’s well aware of the plan, but that if she thought it was enough to kill her, she really doesn’t know what a Slayer is. Then Buffy breaks the connection, stomping the ComCan to pieces. Walsh turns around to face Riley, who is now glaring coldly at her. He walks away as she calls his name. At Giles’ place, the Watcher is trying to convince Spike that he shouldn’t stay in Sunnydale, that it’s not a safe place for him as long as the Initiative is there. A disillusioned Buffy corrects Giles, saying that it’s not safe for anyone of them. Maggie Walsh is in room 314, talking to herself, saying that she’s worked too hard for some little bitch to upset her plans. She muses that Riley will understand once she’s gone - but right then a skewer goes through her chest. She looks down at it, and then at Adam, standing behind her. He pushes her off, and she falls to the floor. “Mommy”, he says. Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac - “One positive - no more Walsh. One negative - the most boring big bad of all-time.”

DJ Angelus -

“Goodbye Walsh. Hello Adam. 314 revealed. Buffy out of the Initiave.”

Quotes

Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, R=Riley, S=Spike, A=Anya, PW=Professor Walsh, F=Forrest, G=Graham

W: I implore you, Neisa, blessed goddess of chance and fortune, heed my call, send to me the heart I desire. X: You know, magic at the poker table qualifies as cheating. W: That wasn’t magic. I was praying.

A: What a stupid game. All these rules just to win little plastic discs. X: Chips. They’re called chips. They represent money, since none of us has any money to represent money.

X: Want one? W: No, thanks. Those things usually taste kind of tasteless, then leave a bad aftertastelessness.

W: You know how it it with a spanking-new boyfriend. A: Yes, we’ve enjoyed spanking. X: < loses his cards >

X: The thing is, I think Riley’s okay in an oafish kind of way, but am I the only one with a big, floating question-mark over his head about this Initiative thing?

W: They are anti-demon. But probably pro ex-demon. A: Maybe. I choose to feel threatened.

B: How was your night? W: Like a normal person’s. Light on the action-packed.

W: Do you want to let him know you’re here? B: No. Just enjoying a good stare.

B: Tell me about your night. W: Well, spent most of it at Xander’s, teaching Anya to play poker. B: That sounds like fun. W: Yeah. Except the Anya part, and the poker part.

B: A twinkie? That’s his lunch? Oh, he is so gonna be punished. W: Everyone’s getting a spank but me.

S: Wipe your feet when you enter a person’s home. G: Ah, yes, careless of me. Tracking mud all over your, um, mud. S: I’ll admit, it’s a bit of a fixer-upper. Needs a woman’s touch. Care to have a crack at it?

G: Three hundred - count it if you like. S: I’ll do that.

S: And I don’t want you crawling back here knocking on my door, pleading for help the second teen witch’s magic goes all wonky, or little Xander cuts a new tooth.

B: My god. You said it was big. You told me, but you never said it was huge. R: Don’t like to brag.

B: But not that I thought it was some fly-by-night operation. Unless it is. I mean, can you guys fly? At night? With those jet-pack things? Do you have those?

M: I’ve assembled some reading material to bring you up to speed. B: Oh. And I thought I was never going to get homework from you again. M: You can’t take that home. That’s classified material. Highly sensitive. When you’re through reading those pages you’ll have to eat them. R: She’s joking. M: Don’t worry - doesn’t happen very often.

B: Behavior modification? M: We’ve made significant advances in reconditioning the subterrestrials. Bringing them to a point where they no longer pose a threat. B: So I’ve seen. < awkward pause > On the Discovery Channel. With gorillas and sharks. They made them all nice. You haven’t seen it?

M: The more advanced arsenal can be complicated, but I’m certain, in time, you’ll pick that up. Don’t pick that up.

B: What is it? M: About $20,000.

M: Lose either one of them, there’s hell to pay, and down here, we mean that literally.

W: I’ve been trying to find a dolcite crystal my entire life. Well, since June, anyway.

M: Almost time to wake up, Adam, and take your first look at the world. I know you’re going to make me proud.

A: Xander, you haven’t been paying any attention to me tonight. Just peddling those processed food bricks. I don’t know why. X: Well, let me put it in a way you’ll understand. Sell bars, make money, take Anya nice places, buy pretty things. A: That does make sense. All right, I support you. Go sell more.

B: Hi, all. Sorry about the late-itude. X: Late? Really? Huh - hadn’t noticed.

R: Hope you don’t mind us tagging along. W: No, no, of course not. The more, the… more.

B: Anya seems a bit edgy. W: She’s a little antsy around commando-types. Ex-demon issues.

B: You said you wanted to invite someone. W: No, not - no one. I mean, I meant a hypothetical someone, which is to say no one. What are we celebrating?

B: Professor Walsh gave me the grand tour, and we’re talking grand as in canyon. You’d never believe the size of it. W: That’s really… again, I say neat.

B: Plus, boyfriend going to work with me - big extra perk.

W: There’s a bunch of stuff about them we still don’t know. B: I know that. Like what? W: Well, what’s their ultimate agenda? I mean, okay, yeah, they neuter vampires and demons, but then what? Are they gonna reintegrate them into society? Get them jobs as bag-boys at Walmart? B: Does Walmart have bag-boys?

B: Why exactly can’t we damage this polka thing’s arms? Not that I want to. It’s just, in my experience, when fighting for your life, body parts get damaged, and better its bits than mine. Or ours.

B: What do they want? Dr. Angleman: Want? B: Why are they here? Sacrifices, treasure, or are they just getting rampagey?

M: You might want to be suited up for this. B: Oh, you mean the camo and stuff? I thought about it, but on me it’s gonna look all Private Benjamin. Don’t worry. I’ve patrolled in this halter many times.

W: Irony’s kind of ironic that way.

B: What do you mean she liked me before you did? You didn’t like me?

F: I’ve always been Riley’s second-in-command. Instead he picks a girl. G: His girl. F: Whatever. Three guesses on what that boy’s thinking with.

B: So… what do you wanna do now?

G: I don’t know how many more ways I can say, I’m not interested. X: Try one. Check these flavors: Cherry Berry, Maple Walnut, ooh, Almond Licorice. A: Eww. X: Anya, we don’t say “Eww” in front of potential customers. A: Just skip this part and tell him you want money to buy me pretty things. He’ll understand. G: Very well. Maple Walnut. X: An excellent choice. G: < takes bite, grimaces > Please leave my home now.

X: Spike? You may wanna give up these morning jogs.

S: Look, the buggers shot me, in the back. G: Remind me, why should I help you? S: Because you do that. You’re the goody-good guys. You’re the bloody freaking cavalry. G: No, you can come up with a better answer than that. Why should I help you? S: Oh, because I helped you. When you turned into that Fyarl demon, I helped you, didn’t I? G: And that was out of the evilness of your heart? S: Oh, hell no. I made you pay me. < pause > You right bastard.

B: Your robot bird sounds hungry. R: It’s just a reminder to take my vitamins. B: You’re kidding. You’re quite the regimental soldier.

G: It doesn’t appear to be a bullet, and it’s too deeply embedded to be a tranquilizer dart. S: Also not tranquil!

G: Some sort of illumination emanating from it. It’s blinking. S: I don’t care if it’s playing “Rockin’ the Casbah” on the bloody Jew’s Harp, just get it out of me!

X: It’s like a homing beacon. And if commando guys are reading the signal, they’re coming home.

M: We have a reading of a class-three subterrestrial moving through sewer tunnels just on the north side of town. B: Class-three? M: It’s a low-level threat, minimal aggression, meager defenses. They barely show up on a scanner, and occasionally turn out to be raccoons. B: Wow. You’re not crazy about raccoons, huh?

W: Did it work? The atmosphere ionized? G: I’d venture yes.

B: Professor Walsh? That simple little recon you sent me on? Wasn’t a raccoon.

X: Sure. Just explain to the nice scientist guys that you really miss killing and torturing innocent people. S: You think that would work?

M: Adam? Adam: Mommy. Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers