Restless

Writer/Director: Joss Whedon

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Marc Blucas as Riley Finn, James Marsters as Spike, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles.

Main guest stars : Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers, Amber Benson as Tara, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Seth Green as Oz, Armin Shimerman as Principal Snyder, Mercedes McNab as Harmony Kendall, George Hertzberg as Adam, Michael Harney as Mr. Harris, David Wells as The Cheese Guy, Phila Oruche as Olivia, Sharon Ferguson as the First Slayer.

Original broadcast date : May 23, 2000

My one-line description: Can you spell “ominous”, boys and girls?

Buffy and friends gather at the Summers house to celebrate their victory over Adam, and to say goodbye to Riley, who is leaving for his Initiative debriefing. He reassures Buffy, saying that he won’t “disappear” – having Graham and other soldiers testify that they’re alive because of him will get him off the hook.

Xander comes in, announcing that the popcorn is ready, and Riley says goodbye to everyone – Joyce pointedly tells him it was nice to finally meet him. Then Giles, Willow, Buffy and Xander sit down in the living room to watch videos; Joyce decides to go upstairs, claiming she’s tired. As for the Scoobies, they haven’t slept since the enjoining spell, and they don’t think they will for a while. Xander pops a cassette in the machine, and they’re off… to sleep.

The camera goes inside Willow’s dream. She’s in Tara’s room, painting Greek symbols on Tara’s back. Tara worries that her knew kitten hasn’t told them her name yet, but Willow reminds her that the cat isn’t grown yet. Tara comments that Willow doesn’t know everything about her, and Willow wonders if Tara has told her her real name yet. Tara answers that Willow knows it, then warns that “they” will find out about Willow. Willow doesn’t have time to worry about that, but Tara warns that the redhead has never taken drama before, and shouldn’t be late. Willow pulls a curtain and sees a desert; she comments that there’s something out there. She ends up on campus, where she runs into Xander and Oz. Her former boyfriend informs her that drama is a tough class. As she opens her locker, Xander informs Oz that Willow is doing spells with Tara, and Oz says that he’d heard about that. The bell rings, and Willow hurries to class.

She arrives backstage and finds everyone in costume for tonight’s show. Harmony is dressed as a milkmaid, and Buffy, costumed as a flapper from the 20s, tells Willow that the place is packed – even her parents are there. Willow is worried, since this is supposed to be the first class, but Riley – dressed as a cowboy – comments that she would’ve gotten a better part if she’d shown up on time. However, Buffy observes that Willow is already in costume, so no one will know the truth about her. Giles, who apparently directs the play, calls everyone’s attention and tells them that everyone Willow has ever known is in the audience. As he speaks, Harmony, in full vamp face, snaps her fangs at him, annoying him. Then, as the cast leaves, a bald man offers Willow some cheese…

Willow finds Tara in the stage curtains, and wonders if there is something following her. Tara answers that there is, and that everyone is starting to wonder about her. If they discover who she truly is, they’ll punish her. Suddenly, the play begins, and Tara is gone. A blood-stained knife stabs at Willow, who falls screaming as savage hands try to grab her. Buffy pulls her away into an empty classroom. She asks why Willow is still in costume, then orders her to take it off. Willow says that she needs it, but Buffy takes it off her and sits down in the suddenly full classroom. Willow discovers herself dressed exactly as she was in the first season; she’s about to make an oral report, but nobody seems to care – Oz is whispering into Tara’s ear, and she seems to enjoy it. Then the beast that was stalking Willow attacks her, biting her in the neck as her skin starts to shrivel.

Back in the living room, Willow struggles and gasps in her sleep. Next to her, Xander wakes up and asks if he missed anything. Buffy and Giles are eating popcorn and watching the movie; Xander asks what’s wrong with Willow, and Buffy calls her a “big faker”. Xander goes upstairs to the bathroom, and finds Joyce in the doorway of her bedroom, wearing sexy night clothes. He asks her if they’re making too much noise, but she says they left some time ago. She invites him to rest… in her bed. However, Xander chooses to go to the bathroom… which transforms into a big Initiative laboratory, with soldiers and scientists looking at him. He leaves, and finds himself in a basement. Someone is trying to open the door upstairs, and Xander shouts that he didn’t order any vampires. Leaving the basement, he finds himself in a park, where Giles and Spike, both dressed in tweed suits, swing on swings while Buffy plays in the sandbox. Spike informs Xander that Giles is teaching him to be a Watcher, and Giles comments that Spike is like a son to him. Xander answers that he was into that for a while, but now he has other stuff – he looks at himself in the ice cream truck in the parking lot, selling ice cream to kids. He comments he has to keep moving forward; “Like a shark”, Buffy comments. Xander is worried for her safety in the sandbox, but she says it’s not coming for her yet – and suddenly she’s sitting in the middle of a huge desert. He tells her there are other things she can’t protect herself from, but she says she’s way ahead of him, and calls him big brother.

Suddenly, Xander is in the ice cream truck, looking at himself in the park. He gets behind the wheel, and suddenly the truck is moving on a street. Anya, sitting beside him, asks if he knows where she’s going; she then comments that she’s been thinking about going back into vengeance – it’s going to be a big year for vengeance. Xander tries to talk her out of it, but suddenly hears giggling behind him. He turns around and sees Willow and Tara, wearing sexy clothing and heavy makeup. He tells them he’s trying to talk to his demon, and they answer they think he’s interesting. He assures them that he’s really going places, but Willow answers that she’s way ahead of him – she starts kissing Tara, and Anya suggests he join them. But then Tara allows him to go, and Xander emerges from the truck into his basement, where someone is still trying to get in. “These will not protect you”, says the bald man, presenting him a plate of cheese slices. Xander runs out of the basement as someone kicks in the basement door.

Running away from the basement, Xander ends up on campus, where he sees something lurking behind the students. He asks Giles what’s following him, and Giles answers that it’s because of what they did. He tells Xander he’s about to give him some information his life may depend on – and suddenly, he speaks in French. Xander can’t understand a word, and Giles gets upset – still in French. Anya arrives, also speaking French, and both she and Giles drag Xander away, helped by some students and Initiative soldiers. They lead Xander through a jungle into a dark room, where he kneels on the floor in front of… Principal Snyder. Snyder tells him that he saw students being herded in the guidance counsellor’s office, and remembers smelling dead flowers. Then he asks Xander where he’s headed; Xander answers that he’s to meet Willow and Tara, along with Buffy’s mom. Snyder warns him he’s out of time, then calls him a whipping boy, raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone. Xander comments he’s getting a cramp, and he stands up… in Giles’ courtyard, where something is crawling in the stairs. In Giles’ apartment, he, Buffy and Anya are watching Willow, who is still gagging; they comment that it’s more serious than they thought. Xander runs and finds himself in Stevenson Hall, but he doesn’t find Buffy in her room. The monster is growling behind him, and he finds refuge in Willow’s closet. He heads down a passageway, and ends up in his basement once again. Someone is still pounding on the door; it bursts open, revealing Xander’s father, who accuses his son of being ashamed of his family. He then shoves a fist into Xander’s chest, and rips his heart out.

In Buffy’s living room, Xander arches in pain as the camera focuses on Giles. He’s in his apartment, looking at his pocket watch as Buffy sits in a chair. He tells her to stop thinking, to let it wash over her, and then to look into the light. However, Buffy can’t stop giggling.

It’s night, and Buffy is giddily pulling Giles by the hand to the cemetery; she’s eager to get to the carnival. A pregnant Olivia, pushing an empty stroller, asks Giles if Buffy is always this eager to train; he answers that apparently Buffy hasn’t learned patience. Then Buffy stops in front of a game booth and throws balls at a mock vampire; when she finally knocks it down, he tells her he doesn’t have a treat for her – but her prize is cotton candy. Giles warns that she’ll get it all over her face, but Buffy turns to him, her suddenly serious face covered in gray clay. “I know you”, he tells her.

Spike motions Giles, Olivia and Buffy to come inside a crypt, saying they’re going to miss the show. Giles is shoved inside, and sees Spike striking poses as photographers take pictures of him. Apparently Spike has decided to become an attraction, but Giles calls him a “sideshow freak”. He asks Spike what he’s supposed to do with all this, and the vampire answers he needs to make up his mind and stop wasting time. The bald man appears, wearing cheese on his head and shoulders. “I wear the cheese, it does not wear me”, he declares.

Having left the crypt, Giles is now at the Bronze; his furniture has been moved on the stage, and Willow and Xander are going through his books. He joins them and apologizes for being late, saying there’s a lot going on at once. Willow says that she shows, and that they’re at death’s door – she points at a gaping wound in Xander’s chest. She tells Giles this is his fault, that some primal force is after them; she concludes he must have an explanation. As he thinks about it, Giles starts singing that they’ve never faced something like this before. He goes to a microphone, and keeps on singing, accompanied by Four Star Mary. He realizes that the enjoining spell must have released some primal evil, and wants to warn Buffy because she’ll be next. He starts to realize what is behind this, but the microphone starts giving feedback; Giles follows the cord backstage, and is confronted to the primal creature. Giles thinks he can wound it with his thoughts, but the creature starts slicing open his head with a knife, saying that he underestimates it. In Buffy’s living room, Giles goes into convulsions.

In her dorm room, Buffy is awakened by Anya, who’s in Willow’s bed. Buffy tells her that she’s not in charge of these things, and turns her back to Anya to go to sleep again. On the ceiling, the creature growls at Buffy…

She wakes up in her bed at home, and then she’s suddenly standing in her bedroom doorway, looking at the unmade bed. She comments that she and Faith just made that bed; “For who”, asks Tara. Buffy tells her she thought Tara was there to tell her, and Tara only answers that she lost the others. Buffy feels that they need her to find them; then she looks at the alarm clock beside her bed, which shows 7:30. Tara tells her it’s completely wrong, and shows Buffy a deck of Tarot cards. “You think you know… what’s to come… what you are”, Tara declares. “You haven’t even begun…” Buffy notices the bed is made again, and decides to go find the others. Tara warns her to be back before dawn.

Walking through a corridor on campus, Buffy sees her mother living inside a wall. The Slayer exclaims that Joyce shouldn’t be living in there, but Joyce insists she’s fine. Buffy sees Xander running upstairs and goes after him; she ends up in a room, where Riley is sitting at a table with a completely human Adam. Riley greets her, calling her “killer”, and informs her that the debriefing went great, and he’s been appointed Surgeon General. Buffy thinks they could have celebrated together, but Riley is busy planning world domination… using coffeemakers. Adam comments that she’s uncomfortable with certain concepts, and explains to her that aggression is a natural human tendency – both of them just go by it differently. Buffy hotly insists they’re not demons, but Adam doesn’t seem convinced. Suddenly, the lights dim, and a computer voice drones that the demons have escaped and they should run for their lives. Riley suggests they make a fort, and Adam volunteers to get the pillows. They leave, and Buffy is alone with demons advancing on her – and a leather bag at her feet. She calls after Adam and Riley, saying she has weapons – but the bag only contains gray clay. She starts smearing it on her face, and suddenly, Riley comes back. “I thought you were looking for your friends”, he says. “OK, killer,” he adds, “If that’s the way you want it, I guess you’re on your own.”

Buffy walks into a desert, and comments that she doesn’t think she’ll find her friends here. Tara walks toward her, confirming that she won’t – that’s not why she came. Buffy realizes that Tara isn’t in her dream, and Tara explains that she was borrowed, that someone has to speak for “her”; Buffy answers that she wants “her” to speak for herself. Suddenly the creature – a young black woman with gray clay on her face – appears, circling Buffy in a hunting crouch. Through Tara, the creature speaks: “I have no speech. No name. I live in the action of death. The blood cry. The penetrating wound. I am destruction. Absolute. Alone.” She is the First Slayer, Buffy realizes…

Holding the Tarot cards, Buffy sees herself in the living room watching the movies with her friends. She tells the First Slayer that she’s not alone, and wants her friends back. But the First Slayer insists that they are alone, that there is only the kill. Suddenly the bald man is there, holding a slice of cheese in each hand… Buffy has had enough, and decides she’s waking up, but the First Slayer attacks. Both girls fight and tumble down a hill, until Buffy cries “Enough!” She wakes up in her living room, with the others still asleep. Suddenly, the First Slayer falls on her from the ceiling, and starts stabbing her in the belly with a knife. Buffy is unimpressed, and decides to go back to her original place on the sofa. This time, she wakes up for real… and so do the others.

At the dining table, the gang talks about the dreams. Giles thinks that by calling on the power of the Slayer, they affronted the source of that power. Joyce enters, wondering what she missed; Willow explains that the spirit of the First Slayer tried to kill them in their dreams. Joyce comments that it calls for some chocolate, and she recruits a slightly uncomfortable Xander to help her make it.

Buffy heads upstairs to take a shower. Passing in front of her room, she sees the bed made, and hears Tara’s voice again: “You think you know… what’s to come… what you are. You haven’t even begun.”

She steps away from the door.

Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac -
“My absolute favorite Buffy episode of all-time. Joss went Kubrick and it turned out to be the greatest hour he’s ever written.”

DJ Angelus -
“Weird ep. Lots of forshadowing for Season 5 in there somehwere.”

Quotes

(B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, R=Riley, S=Spike, A=Anya, T=Tara, J=Joyce, O=Oz, PS=Principal Snyder, H=Harmony)
—
R: Oh, yeah. Having the inside scoop on the administration’s own bay of mutated pigs is definitely an advantage.
W: It’s like you’re blackmailing the government. In a… patriotic way.

X: Dinner is served. And my very own recipe.
W: Ooh, you pushed the button on the microwave that says “popcorn”?
X: Actually, I pushed “defrost”, but Joyce was there in the clinch.

J: Did you notice how pointedly I said “finally”?
B: No.

X: Let the vidfest begin.

J: I can’t believe you’re not exhausted. Have you even slept since…?
G: Still feel a bit too wired.

X: Well, we got plenty of vid. And I’m putting in a preemptive bid for “Apocalypse Now”, huh?
W: Did you get anything less heart-of-darkness-y?
X: “Apocalypse Now” is a gay romp. It’s the feel-good movie of whatever year it was.

X: Don’t worry. I got plenty of chick-and-British-guy flicks, too.

T: I think it’s strange. I mean, I think I should worry, that we haven’t found her name.
W: Who, Miss Kittie?
T: You’d think she’d let us know her name by now.

T: You’re not worried?
W: I never worry here. I’m safe here.
T: You don’t know everything about me.
W: Have you told me your real name?
T: Oh, you know that.

T: They will find out, you know. About you.

W: It’s so bright. And there’s something out there.

X: So, what you been doing? Doing spells? She does spells with Tara.
O: Yeah, I heard about that.

X: Sometimes I think about two women doing a spell. And then I do a spell by myself.

H: Isn’t this exciting? Our first production! I can’t wait till our scene! I love you! Oh! Don’t step on my cues.

B: The place is packed! Everybody’s here! Your whole family’s in the front row, and they look really angry.
W: There’s a production?
H: Oh, somebody’s got stage fright.

R: Well, you showed up late, or you’d have a better part. I’m cowboy guy.

B: You’re already in character! Oh, I should have done that!

R: I showed up on time, so I got to be cowboy guy.

W: This isn’t “Madame Butterfly”, is it? Because I have a whole problem with opera.

G: Everybody that Willow’s ever met is out in that audience, including all of us. That means we have to be perfect.

G: Acting isn’t about behaving, it’s about hiding. The audience wants to find you, strip you naked, and eat you alive, so hide. Stop that. Now, costumes, sets… um, the things that, you know, um, you hold them, you touch them, use them, um…
H: Props?
G: No.
R: Props?
G: Yes. It’s all about subterfuge. That’s very annoying. Now, go out there, lie like dogs, and have a wonderful time.

Cheese guy: I’ve made a little space for the cheese slices.

T: Things aren’t going very well.
W: No! This drama class is just… I think they’re really just doing things in the proper way, and now I’m in a play, and my whole family’s out there, and why is there a cowboy in “Death of A Salesman”, anyway?

H: Why have you come to our lonely, small town, which has no post office and very few exports?

B: But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no-account hoodlums like you? Hoodlums, yes. I mean you and your friends, your whole sex. Throw ’em in the sea for all I care. Throw ’em in and wait for the bubbles. Men, with your groping and spitting, all groin, no brain. Three billion of ya passing around the same worn-out urge. Men… with your sales.

W: I don’t know why it’s after me.
B: Well, you must have done something.
W: No, I never do anything. I’m very seldom naughty.

B: Why are you still in costume?
W: Okay, still having to explain wherein this is just my outfit.

B: Oh, for god’s sake, just take it off. That’s better. Much more realistic.
H: See, isn’t everybody very clear on this now?
A: Oh my god, it’s like a tragedy.

A: It’s exactly like a Greek tragedy. There should only be Greeks.

W: This summer I read “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.”
X: Oh, who cares!

X: I’m awake. I’m good. Did I miss anything?
G: Nothing much at all, really.
B: A bunch of massacring.

G: I have to say, I really feel “Apocalypse Now” is overrated.
X: No, no… it gets better. I remember that it gets better.

B: Want some corn?
X: Butter flavor?
B: New car smell.
X: Cool.

X: What’s her deal?
B: Big faker.

X: Well, thanks for making me have to pee.
B: You don’t need any help with that, right?
X: I got a system.

X: You know, a man’s always after…
J: Conquest?
X: I’m a conquistador.
J: Are you sure it isn’t comfort?
X: I’m a comfortador also.
J: I do know the difference. I’ve learned about boys.
X: That’s cool about you.
J: It’s very late. Would you like to rest for a while?
X: Um, yeah. I’d like you.

X: Okay, I’m gonna find another bathroom.

X: I didn’t order any vampires.

X: That’s not the way out.

S: Giles here is gonna teach me to be a Watcher. Says I got the stuff.
G: Spike’s like a son to me.

X: You gotta have something. Gotta be with moving forward.
B: Like a shark.
X: Like a shark with feet and… much less fins.
S: And on land.
G: Very good!

G: Come on, put your back into it. A Watcher scoffs at gravity.

A: I think this is going to be a very big year for vengeance.
X: But isn’t vengeance kind of vengeful?
A: You don’t want me to have a hobby.
X: Not a vengeance hobby, no. It’s dangerous. People can’t do anything they want. Society has rules and borders and an end zone.

X: Do you mind? I’m talking to my demon.

A: I’ll be fine. I think I’ve figured out how to steer by gesturing emphatically.

G: Now listen very carefully. Your life may depend on what I’m about to tell you. You need…

PS: Where are you from, Harris?
X: Well, the basement mostly.
PS: Were you born there?
X: Possibly.

PS: I walked by your guidance counselor’s office one time. A bunch of you were sitting there.. waiting to be shepherded. I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation’s future is a bunch of mulch.
X: You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake.

PS: Are you a soldier?
X: I’m a comfortador.
PS: You’re neither. You’re a whipping boy, raised by mongrels, and set on a sacrificial stone.
X: I’m getting a cramp.

G: It appears she’s never heard the fable about patience.
Olivia: Which one is that?
G: Well, the one with the fox and the… less-patient fox.

G: Buffy, you have a sacred birthright to protect mankind. Don’t stick out your elbow.

Play vamp: I am a vampire. Ooh, you staked me.

S: I’ve hired myself out as an attraction.
G: Sideshow freak?
S: Well, at least it’s showbiz.

S: Haven’t you figured it all out yet, with your enormous squishy frontal lobes?
G: I still think Buffy should have killed you.

Cheese man: I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.
G: Honestly, you meet the most appalling sort of people.

W: Only at death’s door over here. Look at Xander.
X: Got the sucking chest wound swingin’. I promised Anya I’d be here for her big night. Now I’ll probably be pushing up daisies, in the sense of being in the ground underneath them and fertilizing the soil with my decomposition.

Man: You suck!
A: Quiet! You’ll miss the humorous conclusion.
G: She’s doing quite well.

W: It’s like some primal… some animal force.
G: That used to be us.
X: Don’t get linear on me now, man.

G: And try not to bleed on my couch, I just had it steam-cleaned.

G: I can defeat you with my intellect. I can cripple you with my thoughts.

B: I think I need to find the others.
T: Be back before dawn.

B: Mom?
J: Oh, hi honey.
B: Why are you living in the walls?

B: It looks dirty.
J: Well, it seems that way to you. I made some lemonade, and I’m learning how to play Mah-Jongg.

B: I think they might be in danger.
J: I’m sorry dear, a mouse is playing with my knees.

R: Hey there, Killer.

B: How did the de-briefing go?
R: I told you not to worry about that. It went great. They made me Surgeon General.

R: We’re drawing up a plan for world domination. The key element? Coffeemakers that think.
B: World domination? Is that a good?
R: Buffy, we’re the government. It’s what we do.

R: Buffy, we’ve got important work here. A lot of filing, giving things names.

Loudspeaker: the demons have escaped. Please run for your lives.
Adam: This could be trouble.
R: We’d better make a fort.
A: I’ll get some pillows.

B: Let her speak for herself. That’s what’s done in polite circles.

T: The Slayer does not walk in this world.
B: I walk, I talk, I shop, I sneeze. I’m gonna be a fireman when the flood rolls back.

B: That’s it. I’m waking up.

B: Are you quite finished. It’s over, okay? I’m going to ignore you, and you’re going to go away. You’re really going to have to get over the whole primal power thing. You’re not the source of me. Also, in terms of hair care, you really want to say, what kind of impression am I making in the workplace? ’Cause…

W: The first Slayer. Wow.
X: Not big with the socialization.
W: Or the floss.

B: You know, you could have brought that up to us before we did it.
G: I did! I said there could be dire consequences.
B: Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast.

J: I’m guessing I missed some fun?
W: The spirit of the first Slayer tried to kill us in our dreams.
J: Oh. You want some hot chocolate?
All: Yeah!
J: Xander?
X: Yes, what, Joyce? Uh, Buffy’s mom?

X: Yeah, from now on, you keep your Slayer friends out of my dreams. Is that clear?
W: She’s not good for the sleepin’.

B: Well, at least you all didn’t dream about that guy with the cheese. I don’t know where the hell that came from.

Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers