Buffy vs. Dracula

Writer: Marti Noxon Director: David Solomon

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Marc Blucas as Riley Finn, Emma Caulfield as Anya, James Marsters as Spike, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles. Main guest stars : Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers, Amber Benson as Tara, Rudolph Martin as Dracula, Michelle Trachtenberg as Dawn Summers. Original broadcast date : September 26, 2000 Buffy is tossing and turning in bed beside a soundly sleeping Riley. Deciding she’s not going to sleep, she gets up… and ends up chasing a vampire in the graveyard. Without a word, she savagely dusts the fiend, and goes back home. In her room, a content Buffy goes back to bed and quickly falls asleep. The next day, Buffy and Riley are playing with a football on a sunny beach. Riley comments that Buffy throws like a girl – and almost gets impaled with the football as a result. Watching all this from their beach towels, Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara agree that relaxing shouldn’t involve so much exertion. Soon, Buffy and Riley join them, and Willow magically helps Xander start the charcoal. All seems perfect…. Until it starts pouring and they have to vacate the beach. That night, a truck pulls up to a medieval-looking castle (in Sunnydale?!), and two workers start unloading a big wooden crate. They drop it, and it opens, revealing only dirt – until the real occupant bursts from the crate and kills them both. The next day, Willow helps Giles hook up his new scanner. He explains that he plans on archiving his entire library, and after swearing the redhead to secrecy, he reveals that he’s doing it so the Scoobies can easily access all the information to fight evil… he’s going back to England. He goes on to say to a shocked Willow that Buffy no longer needs him, something he’s proud of even though it saddens him; he plans on telling Buffy soon, and he’s confident she’ll understand. Buffy and Joyce have just finished having dinner together; as the Slayer prepares to go out on patrol, Joyce comments that now that summer is over, she’ll have to get used to living in the house alone again. Buffy suggests they make it a regular dinner date, and leaves for what she describes as being a “total drag” (patrol). The next scene shows Buffy savagely beating on a vampire in the graveyard. “Very impressive hunt”, comments a pale, thin man in a cape, stepping out of the shadows. Buffy declares that it’s not hunting, just a day on the job, and asks him if he’s game for some overtime. He declines, and she asks if he knows what a Slayer is. “Do you?” he answers. Confused, she asks who he is, and he apologizes – he thought she knew; he’s Dracula. “Get out!” she says, awestruck. Buffy is questioning Dracula’s claim, but he assures her that she knows who he is – just as he knows she is Buffy, the renowned killer. She takes offence at that term, but he tells her that her power is rooted in darkness. Having heard enough, she tries to stake him, but he evaporates in a cloud of mist. Xander and Willow show up, just as Dracula rematerializes behind them. Xander takes it lightly, making fun of the vampire’s clothes and comparing the accent to that of the Count on Sesame Street. Dracula promises Buffy they’ll meet again soon, turns into a bat and flies at them, forcing them to duck. At Giles’ place, the Scoobies discuss Dracula – Buffy is flattered that he’d heard of her, Riley is jealous and tries to downplay the Count’s fame, Willow thinks he’s sexy, and Anya agrees – she hung out with Dracula in her demon days. Giles wishes he could have been there, and comments that the key to defeating Dracula will be to separate fact from fiction. As he and Anya walk home that night, Xander gets tired of all her Dracula stories, and finally suggests she hang out at the cemetery showing her neck cleavage until the Count shows up. They go their separate ways, and suddenly Dracula appears in front of Xander. Xander prepares to fight him, but Dracula waves him silent, and makes him his emissary. He promises to make Xander an immortal if he serves him well, and then vanishes. Xander walks away, giggling happily. Riley goes to Spike’s crypt to get information on Dracula. Spike says that he and Drac were old rivals before the Count got famous; he complains that after Drac’s story had become known, everybody knew how to kill vampires. Riley asks where he can find the Count, but Spike warns that the soldier is out of his depth for this one. Riley threatens to kill him, then leaves, as Spike declares that he’ll never find Dracula… not before he finds Buffy. A strong wind blows into Buffy’s bedroom, delivering Dracula in front of her bed. He comments that she’s magnificent, prompting her to say that she bets he says that to all the girls… before he bites them. But he assures her he’s searched the world for someone like her, whose darkness equals his own. Noticing Angel’s bite mark on Buffy’s neck, he realizes she’s been tasted, but dismisses Angel as unworthy of her. He leans in toward her, telling her not to resist and claiming to feel her hunger… and Buffy doesn’t resist. The next morning, Buffy dismisses the whole thing as a dream – until she looks in the mirror and sees the bite marks. She ties a scarf around her neck before going to meet the gang at Giles’ place. There, they compare known facts about Dracula, as a jittery Xander fidgets in the background. Riley tells Buffy that according to what he’s learned from Spike, Dracula likes the high life and won’t be found in a dump. Xander tries to convince them the Count is probably lying low, but they don’t believe him. While no one is looking, Xander sees a spider crawling along; he picks it up and eats it… Buffy decides to go find Dracula herself, and walks out. A concerned Riley follows her and stops her outside. He asks her to take off the scarf, but she refuses, and he accuses her of being under the thrall of the Dark Prince. They argue, and he finally takes the scarf off her, revealing the bite marks for all the Scoobies to see. Buffy confesses that there was this voice telling her to hide the marks, and Riley concludes that she is indeed under the thrall. Giles tells her that it might be a good idea for her to stay out of sight while they go look for Dracula, and Xander volunteers to watch her. Willow and Tara plan on doing a protection spell at Buffy’s house to keep the Count from returning. The two witches wonder how Dracula got into the Summers home, but they get their answer pretty fast – Joyce invited him in for coffee. She argues he seemed nice, just a little pale; then she tells the girls that she did it because it’s hard to date when you get older, and you just feel like give up on men altogether. Giles and Riley are out identifying mansions where Dracula could be, while Xander babysits Buffy in his basement. Anya complains about being stuck with that duty, but Xander just locks her up in a closet and informs Buffy it’s time he took her to his Master. She agrees, and they leave. At Dracula’s castle, the Count orders Xander to leave him and Buffy alone and to make sure they’re not disturbed. After he’s left, Dracula informs Buffy he knew she’d come. Producing a stake, she tells him that if he thinks she’s under his thrall, he should think again. However, he tells her to put down the stake… and she obeys him. A bit worried, she backs away from him. Riley and Giles find Dracula’s castle – which Riley claims never to have noticed in the two years he’s lived in Sunnydale – and enter to investigate. Meanwhile, Dracula tells Buffy that she can’t resist him, because she doesn’t want to. He wants to teach her about her history, her power, and all that her body is capable of. “But first”, he says, “a little taste.” She warns him off, but Dracula didn’t have a taste for himself in mind… Riley is searching the castle when Xander steps in front of him, challenging the soldier to go through him if he wants to harm his Master. Riley just punches him unconscious. Meanwhile, Giles finds a dark room and enters – to tumble a full level below. As he congratulates himself on not being knocked unconscious, he’s surrounded by three beautiful female vampires, who start doing naughty things… Dracula rolls up his sleeve and cuts a slit in his arm, inviting Buffy to drink. She’s afraid she’ll become a vampire, but he assures her he hasn’t drunk enough from her, and that anyway it would only happen if she was near death. She answers that she’s not hungry, but he repeats to her the words from her dream the previous season: “You think you know… what you are… what’s to come… You haven’t even begun.” Impressed, Buffy takes his arm and drinks from it; suddenly, she’s assaulted by visions of herself in battle, and of the First Slayer. “Wow”, she exclaims as she stops drinking…. Then she hits Dracula hard, sending him flying across the room. He comments that she’s resisting, and orders her to come to him, but the thrall is gone. They start fighting. Riley finds the room where Giles fell in; he sees the Three Sisters at, um, work on Giles, and chases them away with a crucifix. He then hauls Giles out of the room, but Giles doesn’t exactly want to go… Still fighting Dracula, Buffy grabs a flaming torch and threatens him, prompting him to poof himself. A cloud of mist floats to the upper level, and Buffy runs there to be just beside him when he rematerializes. She stakes him, asking how he likes her darkness now; he tumbles down the stairs, exploding into dust. Riley and Giles burst into the room, and she reports that she’s Eurothrashed Giles. An angry Xander runs into the room, pissed that Dracula turned him into a “spider-eating manbitch”. Riley tries to comfort him, commenting that at least he wasn’t making time with the Dracubabes like Giles. As they leave, Giles tries to defend his honor, saying that he had everything under control. In the empty room, a cloud of mist starts to coalesce once more into Dracula… who is staked once again by Buffy. “You think I don’t watch your movies? You always come back,” she says. He turns to dust, and she waits a bit. The cloud starts to coalesce again; “I’m standing right here!” she warns. The cloud obediently disperses. Giles has summoned Buffy to his place to tell her something. Actually, she says, she has something to tell him, and he invites her to go first. She starts by pointing out that he hasn’t been her Watcher in a while, and that she hasn’t been training; then she confesses that she’s been going out every night since the enjoining spell… hunting. Saying that Dracula was right in seeing darkness in her powers, she asks Giles to be her Watcher again – she needs to know more about the other Slayers, about where she came from, so she can better control it. She asks Giles what he wanted to tell her… but he has nothing to say. At the Summers house, Buffy announces to Joyce that she’s going out to the movies with Riley. Going up to her room, she sees a young girl there, obviously unpacking. Just as Buffy asks what she’s doing there, Joyce’s voice comes from downstairs: “Buffy? If you’re going out, why don’t you take your sister?” “Mom!!!” both girls unhappily exclaim at the same time.

Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac -

“Very fun episode and the previous foreshadowing begins to make sense.”

Quotes

Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, R=Riley, S=Spike, A=Anya, T=Tara, J=Joyce, D=Dracula

B: Go, Team Me! R: Anyone ever told Team You the quarterback throws like a girl? B: I do?

X: I’m exhausted just looking at those two. All this splashing and jumping and running… shouldn’t relaxing involve less exertion? A: Absolutely. Exertion can lead to sweatiness T: Which can cause the pain and heartbreak of stinkiness. Better to just stay put. W: I think we’ve just put our finger on why we’re the sidekicks.

W: Game over? R: Buffy slayed the football.

X: The fire’s not cooperating. It’s comforting to know that I lack the culinary finesse of the caveman.

W: Ignis incende. B: Willow, check you out. Witch-fu. W: It’s no big. You just have to balance the elements, so when you affect one, you don’t wind up causing… (rain starts) I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it!

W: There you go. All set. G: Thank you, Willow. Obstinate bloody machine simply refused to work for me. W: Just call me the computer whisperer.

G: Start with those. W: Start? Where is finish?

W: Doesn’t winter seem more like archiving season?

W: It’s just, you’ve been Mr. Project all summer. Labeling the amulets and indexing your diaries. I draw the line at making giant rubber-band balls. That’s when you’ll just have to get a life. G: That’s what I’m trying to do, actually, is get a life. W: It might go better if you left the house.

W: Now that I know there’s something to know, I can’t not know, just because I’m afraid somebody will know I know. You know? G: Did that mean yes?

W: You’re Buffy’s Watcher. I mean, in a fired way…

W: But what about the rest of us? We still need to be watched. Personally, I can’t get through a day without a little hairy eyeball.

J: Now? It’s 8:30. B: Well, vamps don’t really care what time it is. You know, dark equals dinner bell.

B: Who are you? D: I apologize, I assumed you knew. I’m Dracula. B: Get out!

W: Xand, what if somebody has a secret, and that somebody promised somebody else that they wouldn’t tell anyone…? X: News flash, Will, everybody knows. W: No, this isn’t about me and Tara. X: Oh, well. Not that I wouldn’t be all ears if you wanted to tell me a secret about you two. Even if it was very, very naughty. W: Sorry, this is the non-naughty variety.

B: So let me get this straight. You’re… Dracula, the guy, the Count? D: I am. B: And you’re sure this isn’t just some fanboy thing? ’Cause I’ve fought more than a couple pimply, overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.

D: You’re known throughout the world. B: Nah. Really? D: Why else would I come here – for the sun?

D: I came to meet the renowned killer. B: Yeah, I prefer the term Slayer. You know, killer just sounds so… D: Naked? B: Like I paint clowns or something.

B: Okay, that’s cheating.

X: Nice! Look who’s got a bad case of Dark Prince envy. D: I have no interest in you. Leave us. X: No, we’re not going to leave you. And where’d you get that accent, Sesame Street? Von, two, three… three victims. Mwah, hahahhaha!

X: And then Buffy’s all “Look out!” And then friggin’ Dracula’s standing right behind us. W: And then he lunges at us, like *whoosh*! X: He totally looked shorter in person. B: I told you he’d heard of me, right? I mean, can you believe that? Count Famous heard of me. R: I couldn’t believe it the first 20 times you told us, but it’s starting to sink in now. B: I’m sorry. Am I repeat-o girl?

B: He of the dark, penetrating eyes and lilty accent. X: I wonder if he knows Frankenstein?

T: You thought Dracula was sexy? W: Oh, no. He, he was… yuch. A: Right, except for the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing… yucko. X: How would you know? A: Oh, we hung out a few times. Back in my demon days. You know, once or twice. He’s pretty cool. You know, from a whole evil-thing perspective. X: Please. He was no big whoop.

B: No killing until we know exactly what we’re dealing with. R: You’re not just saying that because of those dark, penetrating eyes of his, are you? B: No! His eyes were… they were… there was no penetration. Cross my heart.

B: Maybe if you just lie down with me… R: Nothing you’re about to say will lead to rest.

B: See? A little sugar and I’m all yours. Dracula, shmacula.

A: I doubt he’d remember me. I was just a silly young thing. I mean, like 700 or so. But he did say that this guy I cursed was doomed forever, which was really sweet, don’t you think? X: Adorable.

X: You don’t want to come back to my place? A: It’s whites day, remember? The bleach smell makes me nauseous. X: Fine. I suppose Dracula doesn’t use bleach, huh? He’s a darks-only man.

X: Come on, puffy shirt. Pucker on up, ’cause you can kiss your pale ass good– D: Silence. X: Yes, Master.

X: I will serve you, your excellent spookiness. Or Master, I’ll just stick with Master. D: You are strange and off-putting. Go now.

R: What can you tell me about Dracula? S: Dracula? Poncy bugger owes me 11 pounds, for one thing. R: You know him? S: Know him? We’re old rivals. But then he got famous, forgot all about his foes.

D: You are magnificent. B: I bet you say that before you bite all the girls.

B: You think you can just waft in with your music-video wind, and your hypno-eyes…

D: You have been tasted. B: He was– D: Unworthy.

W: Well, I think we have Dracula factoids. X: Like any of that’s enough to fight the Dark Master. < everyone looks at him > X: –bator. W: A lot of it we already knew. Turn-offs: wood, fire, crosses, garlic. Turn-ons: nice duds, minions, long slow bites that last for days.

X: I think you’re drawing a lot of crazy conclusions about the Unholy Prince. < everyone looks at him again > X: –bator.

X: It’s nothing. Just a scratch. W: Two deep, puncture-y scratches.

B: There was just this voice, and it was telling me to cover it. R: And what’d I tell you? That’s thrall.

R: I shouldn’t take this personally. I mean, what with Angel, I mean, it’s understandable that there would be transference. I mean, they’re both broody immortals. B: I am not transfer-y. J: He seemed so nice and normal. A little pale… W: A good Sunnydale rule-of-thumb? Avoid white-skinned men in capes.

A: How come I have to be here Slayer-sitting, while the other guys get to look for Dracula?

X: I’m supposed to deliver you to the Master now. There’s this whole deal where I get to be immortal. You cool with that?

X: Master, I deliver the Slayer. She who you most desire. Sorry – “whom”.

D: Put the stake down. B: Okay. Right. That… was not you. I did that. I did that because… I wanted to. Maybe I should re-think that thrall thing.

R: I’ve lived in Sunnydale a couple of years now. Know what I’ve never noticed before? G: A castle? R: A big, honking castle.

X: Nobody harms my Master. R: Your Master? X: You want him? You come through me. < Riley punches Xander – Xander drops > R: Okey-dokey.

G: Oh, good show, Giles. At least you didn’t get knocked out for a change.

G: That tickles. Ooh, oh, uh… oh, dear god.

B: Wow. That was gross. D: You are resisting. B: Looks like. D: Come here. Come to me. B: You know, I really think the thrall has gone out of our relationship.

G: Oh, my shoe. Silly me. I’ll just pop… R: No, no, no sir. No more chick-pit for you.

B: A guy like you should think about going electric.

B: How do you like my darkness now?

R: Are you okay? B: Yeah. Chock-full of free will. G: And Dracula? B: Euro-trashed.

X: Where is he? Where’s the creep that turned me into a spider-eating man-bitch? B: He’s gone. X: Damn it! You know what? I’m sick of this crap. I’m sick of being the guy who eats insects, and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it’s over. I’m finished being everybody’s butt-monkey. B: Check. No more butt-monkey. R: It could have been worse. At least you weren’t making time with the Dracu-babes like Giles here. G: I was not making time, I was just about to kill those loathsome creatures when Riley interrupted me. R: Really? You were gonna nuzzle ’em to death?

B: You think I don’t watch your movies? You always come back. < Dracula starts to re-form > B: I’m standing right here! < Dracula fades away >

J: Buffy, if you’re going out, why don’t you take your sister? B & Dawn, in unison: Mom! Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers