All the Way

Writer: Steven S. DeKnight Director : David Solomon

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Michelle Trachtenberg as Dawn Summers, James Marsters as Spike, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg.

Main guest stars : Amber Benson as Tara, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles, John O¹Leary as Old Man Kaltenbach, Kavan Reece as Justin, Amber Tamblyn as Janice, Dave Power as Zack.

Original broadcast date : October 30, 2001

My one-line description: Bad, bad Dawnie ­ it¹s Vampire Daters: The Next Generation.

The Magic Box is busy, busy on this Halloween day, as the shop overflows with clients. Xander, costumed as a pirate, takes his role very seriously as he describes a produces to a kid (awrrr!) but the boy isn¹t convinced he¹s a real pirate. Anya, dressed as one of Charlie¹s Angels, albeit on skates, is ecstatic with all the capitalist action, while Giles, dressed as a warlock, busily mans the cash register and packs bags. Further back, Willow is ranting to Dawn about how people portray a stereotyped view of witches on Halloween, but quickly changes her mind when she sees a cute little 4-year old witchŠ While Willow is busy with the toddler, the talisman she was handling disappears in Dawn¹s pocketŠ

The only one not costumed, Buffy acts as gopher, going to the basement to fetch more supplies for clients. There, she encounters Spike, snooping and stealing (because that¹s what he does, he protests). She asks him where she would find the mandrake root, and he picks a glass jar and gives it to her. Then he asks her if she¹s up for patrolling, but she¹s not really interested. As he leaves, a bit miffed, she mutters that he was easier to talk to when he wanted to kill herŠ (har har!)

Elsewhere in town, a strange old man is going back to his house, a big grocery bag in his arms, humming “Pop Goes the Weasel”. Going to his kitchen, he talks to himself, saying that he has a special treat for all the kids this Halloween ­ he takes out a knife and sharpens itŠ

At the Magic Box, the Halloween madness is over and the Scoobies are all sitting on the ground, exhausted ­ all except Anya, who¹s ecstatic at all the money she made. Willow suggests that they use magic to clean up the shop, but Tara and Giles don¹t like the idea at all ­ Giles hands Willow a broom. At the cash register, Dawn joins Anya in the dance of capitalist superiority, and Xander suddenly realizes that it¹s timeŠ Getting up, he announces that he and Anya are engaged. The gang is happy, and Buffy insists that they have to celebrateŠ

At the Summers house, the gang has succeeded in putting together an impromptu party for Xander and Anya. They deplore that they didn¹t have time to put up decorations, but Willow fixes it with a wave of her finger ­ lovely, flowery (and biodegradable) decorations appear around the living room. This doesn¹t please Tara, who takes advantage of some alone time with Willow in the kitchen to admit that she worries about her lover using too much magic. Willow reacts badly, and the argument is broken up, unresolved, by Dawn¹s untimely arrival.

A short time later, Dawn announces that she¹s leaving for a sleepover at her friend Janice¹s. As Buffy expresses surprise at this, Dawn reminds her that it¹s been planned for a while. Dawn promises that she¹ll be careful (Œtis Halloween, of course) and will go straight to Janice¹s house. Of course, she doesn¹tŠ She meets up with Janice in an alley, and the two hook up with a couple of good-looking teenage boys ­ Janice with Zack, and Dawn with Justin.

The teens go out playing pranks, letting the air out of tires and smashing pumpkins. Spotting Old Man Kaltenbach¹s house, they dare each other to go smash his jack o¹lantern, and Dawn says that she¹ll do it. But as she sneaks up to the house, Kaltenbach catches her in the act and invites them all inside. After some small talk about the toys the old man used to build for kids, he goes to the kitchen to get the “special treat”, and Justin goes to help him. But as the old man grabs a knife to cut into a pan of rice crispy nummies, Justin turns into vamp face and drains him.

Justin comes back out of the kitchen, saying he just stole Kaltenbach¹s wallet, and they all run away. In the street, the two boys secretly plan turning Dawn and Janice into vampires. Then Justin gets cozy with Dawn, giving her his jacket to warm her up, while Zack goes to get the car ­ or actually to carjack a woman whose body he leaves behind.

At the Summers house, the party is still going, though not quite strong. Anya is smothering Xander with her future plans, and he eventually goes out on the porch with Buffy for some fresh air. Then, as he bravely goes back in, Buffy decides to take Spike up on his offer to patrol, even if Halloween is the demons¹ night off. After she takes off, Giles gets a call from Janice¹s mother, and figures out that Dawn lied to themŠ The gang, as usual splits up to look for her.

In the park, Zack and Janice leave to play tag, while Dawn makes out with Justin in the car, confessing to him that it¹s her first kiss. They go at it again, and he vamps out while she unsuspectingly kisses him. Meanwhile, Willow and Tara go to the Bronze to try and find Dawn. Willow regales Tara with stories of her nerdy past, and the earlier argument is almost forgotten. However, Willow starts using magic again, planning to shift everyone who¹s not 15 in a parallel universe. Tara finally accuses her of using too much magic, and they fight again. Tara leaves, with Willow going after her, finally a bit scared.

Giles goes to Spike¹s crypt, but doesn¹t find Buffy there. However, he tells Spike that Dawn has disappeared, and while the vampire goes in search of the Slayer, Giles continues to search for Dawn. He ends up in the park, and catches who he thinks is Dawn, backed up against a tree, getting bitten by a vampire. It turns out to be Janice, and Giles fights Zack and impales him on a branch, dusting him.

Having just discovered that Justin is a vampire, Dawn screams, and Giles arrives running, threatening Justin. However, some car lights flash on, revealing to Giles and Dawn that they¹re surrounded by vampiresŠ

Just when the odds seem not too good, Buffy and Spike arrive on the scene. Appalled to see her sister with a vampire, Buffy starts to lecture Dawn and they argue, until one of the vampires politely asks if they can fight now. Buffy, Giles and Spike (who is quite outraged that vampires would hunt on Halloween) oblige, taking out every vampire except Justin. He chases Dawn into the woods, pins her to the ground, and just as he¹s about to bite her, she stakes him with a pencil.

Back home, Dawn sits alone in the dining room, more than a bit embarrassed, while the gang discuss the whole thing in the living room. An angry Tara goes up to bed, and Willow goes after her, alarmed. Buffy discharges on Giles the duty of punishing Dawn, infuriating him to the point where he¹s even harder on Dawn.

Upstairs, Willow tries to appease Tara, but it doesn¹t work, so she secretly works a spell that makes Tara forget the whole thing. When Willow gets into bed, Tara lovingly cuddles up to herŠ

Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac - “Dawn-centric and boring for the most part.”

Quotes

Key: B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, A=Anya, T=Tara, D=Dawn, Z=Zach, J=Justin, Ja=Janice

S: I thought you had it to the brim with customer disservice? B: One-time deal to help out. And I mean straight time – no loop-the-loop, mummy-hand, repeat-o-vision.

S: Feel like a bit of the rough and tumble? B: What? S: Me, you… patrolling? Hello!

S: It’s not like I don’t already have plans. “Great Pumpkin’s” on in 20. B: So much easier to talk to when he wanted to kill me.

B: What happened to Xander? G: He kept poking me with his hook. I sent him over to charmed objects. With any luck, he’ll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternative dimension inhabited by a 50-foot Giles that squishes annoying, teeny pirates.

B: Yeah, what about costumes that take over you personality, or wee, little Irish fear-demony thingies? G: Yes, well, if anything calamitous should happen, history suggests it will happen to one of us.

X: Store go boom. Arrr.

A: That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever experienced. [off Xander’s look] Except for that.

A: Post-holiday clearance. The cornerstone of retail.

G: Brooms all around then. W: Or I could whip up a jaunty self-cleaning incantation. It’ll be like “Fantasia”. G: And we all know how splendidly that turned out for Mickey. W: I think I’m a little more adept than a cartoon mouse. T: And you have more fingers, which is good ’cause then there’s no need to wear those big white gloves to over-compensate.

B: You know, if you had a real peg-leg, you wouldn’t just have a lame costume, you’d actually be lame. Which is completely different than–

D: You do this every night? A: Every time I close out the cash register. The dance of capitalist superiority.

X: I’m gonna marry that girl. B: What? She’s 15 and my sister, so don’t even– oh.

B: Did you know about this? G: No. Unless I blocked it from my memory, much as I will Xander’s vigorous use of his tongue. B: Is that why you’re always cleaning your glasses? So you don’t have to see what we’re doing? G: Tell no one.

D: Can I try it on? A: Oh, absolutely not.

B: Sorry we couldn’t do the big fancy. Kind of caught us with our party down. A: Oh, that’s okay. This is just the first premarital celebration. There’ll be lots more. With gifts.

B: Seems like only yesterday you had to pay a girl to date you. X: Like I’d ever pay… define “date”.

B: How many other things have changed since I’ve been gone? D: I got a tattoo. B: What?! W: Which is why we told her “no.” D: Just a little one? B: Over my dead body. The kind that doesn’t come back.

Z: To infinity and– ow! J: Oops.

Z: Hey baby, what took you so long? Ja: I had to stop for crimes and misdemeanors.

Ja: So? D: He’s okay. Ja: “Ho hum” okay, or like, “Oh my god, I think I’m gonna pee my pants!” okay? D: Pee.

G: Anya’s a wonderful former vengeance demon. I’m sure you’ll spend many years of non-hell dimensional bliss.

Old Man Kaltenbach: Shouldn’t ought to mess with those. Sometimes they bite.

Z: Don’t make me go kung-fu on you, man.

Ja: Okay, I say we get the funk out of here before Satan Claus tries to stuff us up the chimney.

Z: That’d break the old guy’s widdle heart – assuming it’s still beating.

J: Dude, that guy was rank. Z: Bet a spritz of Dawn will wash that right out. So what do you think – lunchables?

A: So, I was thinking maybe a June wedding, but then I remembered that they always had the highest percentage of calls for vengeance. So now I’m leaning towards as soon and damn possible. I mean, mortal life being so short, we gotta cram in as much marital bliss as we can before we wither and die.

X: You got to know what to call ’em before they hit college. G: Rupert is an exceptionally strong name. A: [laughing] Yeah, if we want our progeny to eat paste and have their lunch money stolen.

B: All that matters is that they’re happy. Everything else is thick-gravy goodness.

A: I’m the luckiest ex-demon in the world.

X: Air. Sweet mother oxygen.

X: Deep pools of ooey delight. I’m wallowing, not drowning.

J: And so begins her life of crime. D: You’re a little late. I steal all the time. J: Really? D: Totally. I haven’t paid for lipstick since… forever. J: Oh, be still my heart. Cute *and* bad.

Z: I love it when they run.

D: Shiver me timbers!

D: I’ve been kissed before. I kiss all the time. Not that I’m a kiss slut. Just, you know, with the lips and the pressing together and stuff. Hey, expert here! Okay, okay, it was my first kiss! I know, I know, I suck. My lips are dry and my tongue’s all horrible and sticky and I’m pretty sure I drooled on you.

W: [re: Luke and Leia at the Bronze] Do they know they’re brother and sister?!

W: Hard to believe such a hot mama-yama came from humble, geek-infested roots. T: Infested roots. Trying to turn me on? W: I have to try now?

G: Mist. Cemetery. Halloween. Should end well.

Z: What do you know about it, Grandpa? G: Quite a bit, actually.

Z: Dude, that sucks.

J: It’ll only hurt for a second. G: I bet you say that to all the girls.

G: Now, you have a choice, son. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard– J: What were my choices again?

B: Were you parking? With a vamp? D: I didn’t know he was dead. J: Living dead. D: Shut up! B: How could you not know? D: I just met him. B: Oh, so you went parking in the woods with a boy you just met.

D: Oh, like you’ve never fallen for a vampire? B: That was different.

Vamp: Uh, excuse me. Can we fight now? B: Hey, didn’t anyone come here to just make out? [couple raises their hands] B: Aw, that’s sweet. You run. [to vamp] You scream.

Vamp: Die, Slayer. [stake action] B: Um-hmm.

Vamp: What is your malfunction, man? S: It’s Halloween, you nit. We take the night off. Those are the rules. Vamp: Me and mine don’t follow no stinkin’ rules. We’re rebels. S: No, I’m a rebel. You’re an idiot. Give the lot of us a bad name.

B: Sorry about the party. A: It gave me more time to plan the bridal shower. Where do we order obscenely muscular male strippers? X: Anya! A: Well, I’m kidding. Jeez.

B: How’s your face? G: Oh, still ruggedly handsome. Grandpa, indeed. Ow.

G: Something needs to be done before it spins out of control. B: You’re right. I’m glad you’re here to take care of it. Don’t be too hard on her, okay?

D: This the part where you tell me you’re not angry, just disappointed? G: Pretty much, except for the bit about not being angry.

Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers