Gone

We only have the quotes for this one.

Quotes

(B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, A=Anya, T=Tara, D=Dawn, J=Jonathan, Wn=Warren, Aw=Andrew, Am=Amy, DK: Doris Kroger)

D: Candles? We can’t have candles? B: Dawn, it’s a magic clearance. Everything must go. D: But they’re just candles! B: Well, yeah, you know, to you and me they’re just candles. But to witches, they’re like… bongs.

G: So, no candles, no charms, no– W: Bird. B: Bird?

Wn: It still needs a trial run, but it’s– J: Kinda clunky looking Wn: What? Aw: I pictured something cooler. More ILM, less Ed Wood.

J: You penis! Wn: Oh, cheer up, Frodo.

B: How are you doing? W: Okay. Not ready to head back to classes, face the world okay, but the shakiness is only semi now.

W: Okay, I deserve the wrath of Dawn, but why is she taking it out on you? B: Because I let it happen.

S: Just, uh, took a stroll. Found myself in your neck of the woods. B: Couldn’t find a less flammable time of day to take a stroll?

S: So, um, what should I call you, then? Pet? Sweetheart? My little Goldilocks?

S: Uh-uh, uh-uh – this flapjack’s not ready to be flipped.

X: Good Godfrey Cambridge, Spike. Still trying to mack on Buffy? Wake up already. Never gonna happen. Only a complete loser would ever hook up with you. Unless she’s a simpleton like Harmony, or a nut-sack like Drusilla– B: Hey.

B: Now’s really not a good time. I have company. S: No worries. I’ll wait. B: Spike, this nice woman is from Social Services. S: Oh, right. Hey, Buffy’s a great mom. She takes good care of her little sis. Like, when Dawn was hanging out too much in my crypt, Buffy put a right stop to it. DK: I’m sorry, did you say– B: Crib. Crib! He said crib. You know kids today and their buggin’ street slang.

DK: He sleeps here? B: What? No, no. Oh, the blanket. That’s a security thing, yeah. He has issues.

DK: Oh, so you live with another woman? B: Oh, oh, it’s not a gay thing, you know. I mean, well, she’s gay, but we don’t… gay. Not that there’s anything, oh, wrong with…

B: You know, I know what that looks like, but I swear it’s not what it looks like. It’s magic weed. It’s not mine. DK: I think I’ve seen enough.

S: So long, Goldilocks.

Aw: I’m scared. What if we get caught? J: No way. We’ll be invisible. Plus, their security’s gotten lax.

Wn: Remember – we’re professionals. Aw: Uh, Slayer. Wn: What? Where? Aw: There, headed this way.

J: Give it! Aw: No, I need to be invisible! J: I need it more. Buffy can’t see me! //invisibility ray hits Buffy// Aw: Oopsie.

X: What happened to Buffy? She’s gone. A: She’s right here. Table four. I put her with your family. X: Great. Except we don’t hate Buffy. Put her back at table one. A: Well, where do I put D’Hoffryn? X: We’re not inviting D’Hoffryn. A: I have to. He’s my ex-boss. You’re inviting your work buddies.

X: Where… where are you? B: At table four, apparently. A: Well, that remains to be seen. Like you.

X: Buffy, how did this hap–? Wait a sec. Have you been feeling ignored lately?

X: Can we get back to freaking out about no-show Buffy?

A: Why would anyone make her invisible, anyway? I mean, an invisible Slayer’s got to be way more effective than the standard variety. X: Yeah, I’m less with the why, and more with the how. We get the how, then we got how to make her unseen sight seen again, right? B: ’S’allright.

A: It would help if we had a little bit more to go on. Or… anything to go on.

X: Willow, we need to talk. W: We are talking. Well, I’m talking and you’re looking at me funny.

X: Rhymes with blinvisible? W: What??

X: Buffy was in town, leaving the hair cutting place, when she suddenly just– W: Buffy got her hair cut? X: Yeah. Adorable, apparently. I couldn’t tell since she’s all blinvisible.

W: So I guess it wouldn’t matter if I just jump off the wagon completely, since you already think I’m making pit stops.

Aw: But we had so many plans. Naked women, and all… Well, all the naked women.

Aw: She could be anywhere. Even here. Right now. Watching, listening to every word we say. For all we know, she could be one of us. J: In my book, an invisible Slayer means a whole world of trouble.

B: I am the ghost of fashion victims past. Studded caps - not a good idea! Hey, I’m doing you a favor!

B: Kill, kill, kill… DK: What? Other SW: I didn’t say anything. DK: Not you, the mug.

DK: I didn’t do this. It was the voice. SW: Excuse me? DK: There was a voice before. It made my coffee dance.

X: No jumping. Look - feet firmly planted.

W: Whatever hit this fire hydrant hit it after it was made invisible. And betcha-by-golly-wow, that something was the same something that shot out of that alley.

//on TV// “Oh my god, the blood! Look at all the blood!” S: //rubs belly, gets up for snack of blood from refrigerator//

S: Whatever beastie you are, I know you’re here. And I hurt beasties.

S: A ghost, is it? Well, go and haunt the living, like a good spook.

S: Buffy? B: I told you – stop trying to see me.

A: Oh, I got it. X: What? A: Yeah, we’ll put D’Hoffryn at your parent’s table, and move your Uncle Rory to table five near the bar. X: An, honey, we’re looking for invisibility spells here. A: Well, obviously, I haven’t found anything yet.

A: Ewww. Xander! X: What? A: An unpleasant tactile experience. Like putting my hand in pudding.

X: If we don’t find Buffy, I mean, if we don’t figure out how this was done… A: She’s pudding?

Wn: Eventually, her molecular makeup will start losing its integrity, and then… pfft. Aw: But wouldn’t that kill her? Wn: Well, let me think… yeah. J: Wait a minute. We’re not killing anybody - especially not Buffy. Wn: You guys are so immature. We’re villains! When are you gonna get that through your thick skulls? J: We’re not killers. We’re crime lords. Aw: Yeah, like… like Lex Luthor. He’s always trying to take over Metropolis, but he doesn’t kill Superman. Wn: Because it’s Superman’s book, you moron!

X: …naked in bed? S: A man shouldn’t let immortality be an excuse to let himself go. You gotta keep fit for the killing. X: Yeah-huh.

X: Looks like you had a little trouble upstairs. Mini disaster area. S: So what, you just come here to criticize my housekeeping?

X: I’m looking for Buffy. S: Haven’t seen her. X: Well, you wouldn’t. Fact is, she’s come down with a slight case of invisibility.

S: And if we bump into each other, I’ll clue her that you’re on the lookout. X: After your… exercises. S: Yeah, right. X: You know, kidding aside, Spike, you really should get a girlfriend.

S: This vanishing act’s right liberating for you, isn’t it? Go anywhere you want. Do anything you want. Or anyone. B: What are you talking ab– S: The only reason you’re here is that you’re not here.

B: I’m free. Free of rules and reports, free of this life. S: Free of life. Got another name for that – dead.

S: Get dressed if you can find your clothes, and push off, ’cause if I can’t have all of you, I’d rather… hey, that’s cheating.

B: He threw me out? He threw me! Did I, like, fall into some backward dimension here? Is this bizarro world?

B: I’m invisible. Check this out. Whoo… whoo… unidentified flying pizza, coming in for a landing.

B: Okay, not the most clever ad-lib, but c’mon, points for spontaneity.

B: Xander and Anya are working on it, Muldering out what happened.

X: Buffy, if this isn’t reversed, you’re gonna, well, dissolve… or fade… into nothing. B: Wow.

Wn: Congratulations. You’re our first hostage.

B: Where are the bad guys? Wn: All around you, Slayer, so don’t try anything. W: He’s bluffing, Buffy, there’s just three of them… I think. Wn: More than enough to cause some serious carnage, right guys? Guys? Guys! J: ..at video game.. Kick! Use the kick. Aw: I tried that – he keeps blocking it with his drunken monkey fist. B: Ooh, scary video carnage. Wn: Hey! Slayer’s here. Aw: Sorry - didn’t see her.

B: Okay, play time’s over. Wn: You haven’t won yet, Slayer. B: No, that part comes after I beat the snot out of you. Wn: You’ll just have to find me first. There’s three of us against just one of you. J: Hey, you lied to us. Aw: Fight her yourself.

J: Ow, ow! Watch the chest hair! B: I know that voice. You… you’re Jonathan?! You have chest hair?

B: Who are you? Aw: Andrew. I summoned the flying monkeys that attacked the high school? During the school play, you know? Wn: It’s Tucker’s brother. J: Tucker’s brother. B: Oh.

B: So you three have, what, banded together to be pains in my ass? Wn: We’re your arch-nemesises… nemeses.

Wn: What do you mean it’s locked? You were supposed to check it! J: I forgot. B: I give you my arch-nemesises…ses.

B: So, how did you manage to.. do it, exactly? I mean, to locate it? W: The hard way. The spell-free way. the oh-my-god-my-head’s- gonna-fall-off, my-feet-are-killing-me way.

B: The whole “taking a vacation from me” thing didn’t work out too well. W: Tell me about it. B: I’m not saying that I’m doing back-flips about my life, but… I didn’t… I don’t… want to die. That’s something, right? W: It’s something.

W: So I guess we both made good first steps. B: I guess. W: Yay for us. B: Yay.

Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers