School Hard

Written by: David Greenwalt & Joss Whedon Directed by: John T. Kretchmer

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles, and David Boreanazas Angel.

Guest stars : Andrew J. Ferchland as the Anointed One, Robia LaMorte as Jenny Calendar, Juliet Landau as Druscilla, James Marsters as Spike, Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers and Armin Shimmerman as Principal Snyder.

Original Broadcast Date: Sept. 29, 1997.

Principal Snyder is in his office, talking to Buffy and a girl called Sheila. He is trying to decide which one of them to expel. On the one hand Sheila stabbed a teacher with a pair of shears, and on the other hand Buffy is ­ well ­ Buffy! He assigns them the job between them of preparing the school for parent/teacher night. Decorations, food, the whole enchilada.

Buffy has some plans for their task, but Sheila clearly couldn¹t care less! She walks off as Willow and Xander arrive. Buffy worries how to fit in slaying now she has all this extra work, and Xander tries to console her. He says she¹ll be okay as long as nothing bad happens between now and the weekend.

That night a new vamp drives in to townŠ

In their lair, the vamps are discussing who will replace the Master. They decide it should be whoever can kill the Slayer. This weekend is the Night of St Vigeous, when their power will be at it¹s peak, but before they can make plans the newcomer interrupts. Introducing himself as Spike, he offers to do the job for them, and brags of having killed two Slayers already. With him is a lady vampire who is clearly insane. Her name is Druscilla, and she seems to be Spike¹s girl. Spike offers to kill Buffy if the Anointed One and his minions leave the pair alone.

In her bedroom, Buffy is talking about parent/teacher night with her Mom. Joyce makes it clear that her daughter has let her down before, and she doesn¹t want to be disappointed in her again. The pressure just keeps on coming!

Next morning at school, Willow and Xander help Buffy make banners as Sheila didn¹t show. Giles calls them to a meeting with Jenny, who has found out about the Night of St Vigeous. St Vig led a vampire crusade in the middle ages, and the vamps must be planning something big as a celebration. Wiilow and Xander offer to help with any preparations, as Buffy has enough to deal with at school!

At the Bronze that night, Wil is helping the slayer with her homework. Xander persuades them to break for a while, and Spike stalks the room, watching them dance. He sends one of the other vamps outside to Œget someone to eat¹, then loudly raises the alarm within earshot of Buffy. She runs outside and dusts the vamp. Behind her, Spike applauds. He tells her that he is going to kill her on Saturday.

In an alley, Sheila is flirting with two men she picked up at the Bronze. Suddenly, they disappear, and Spike is there instead. Believing the others have left her, Sheila walks off with the new guyŠ

Giles, the scoobies and Jenny are discussing Spike back at the library. Angel walks in, and warns them that Spike is very dangerous indeed. If he has threatened to kill Buffy, he probably will succeed!

Back at the vamps¹ lair, Spike tries to persuade Dru to eat as she is very weak. From another room come sounds of chanting ­ the vamps are preparing for the Night of St Vigeous. Dru says Spike should go and be nice to the Anointed One, as he still doesn¹t trust them. He grudgingly agrees on the condition that she eats something, and indicates a bound and gagged Sheila!

It is the night of the parent/teacher evening, and Buffy is busy preparing food while the others whittle stakes! Even Cordelia is helping out. As the time for the parents to arrive approaches, Buffy offers Willow some of her homemade lemonade. She¹s forgotten to use any sugar and it is gross! Wil promises to help keep Mrs Summers away from Snyder, and when Joyce arrives she takes her on a Œtour of the school¹. Two and a half hours later, and Snyder finally catches up with her. Cordy makes a catty comment as the pair retreat to his office, and Willow promptly offers her lemonadeŠ

Giles¹s research into Spike has turned up several disturbing facts. He is nearly 200 years old, and used to be known as William the Bloody. He earned his nickname by torturing people with railroad spikes. Worst of all, Spike has fought two slayers this century, and he managed to kill them both!

Joyce and Snyder reappear in the school hall, and an angry Joyce orders Buffy to the car. At that moment a gang of vampires led by Spike crash through the window. It would seem that William the Bloody couldn¹t wait! Buffy leads the people away, but Willow stops to save Cordy from a vamp. The two then end up locking themselves in a closet. As the slayer barricades herself and the parents in a classroom, Giles, Xander and Jenny are doing the same in the library. The lights go outŠ Giles tries to call Angel, but the phone lines have been cut. He manages to get Xander out of the building, and sends him for help.

Back in the classroom, Snyder convinces the parents that the vamps are a gang on drugs. He suggests that they escape through one of the windows, but Buffy says no. She tells them to wait while she goes to get help, and climbs up through a hole in the ceiling.

Spike is stalking the corridors calling for Buffy. As her nears their utility closet, Willow and Cordy begin to panic. He is close to discovering them when one of the vamps hears a noise, and Spike realizes the Slayer is in the ceiling.

Buffy drops down into the library, scaring the pants off of Giles! He has just decided to come and help her. She asks him instead to lead the adults to safety whilst she takes care of the vamps.

In the classroom, Snyder is tired of waiting. One of the parents helps him to open a window. Allowing him to go first, the principal watches in horror as the man gets eaten. He quickly re-blocks the window, but another vamp is hacking through the door with an axeŠ

In the corridor, Spike rounds up his gang and goes looking for Buffy.

Outside the school, Angel wears his game face, and has Xander by the scruff of the neck.

Buffy jumps down from the ceiling behind the vamp that is wielding the axe. She stakes him, and tells Joyce through the hole in the door to hang on for just one more minute. Sheila joins her and picks up the axe. The two patrol together.

Angel - still holding Xander - meets Spike in the entrance hall. He greets him as an old friend, and jokes about keeping Buffy sweet so she¹ll leave him alone. Xander is furious, and says he knew that Angel couldn¹t be trusted! Angel bares Xander¹s neck and offers Spike a bite, but he declines.

Outside the library, Sheila has vamped out and raises the axe behind Buffy¹s back. Giles sees her through the window in the door, and shouts a warning. Sheila runs away. Buffy returns to let the others out of the classroom, and tells them all to go and she¹ll follow soon. Joyce is unsure, but goes anyway.

Spike and Angel agree to team up and kill Buffy together. In mid-laugh, Spike suddenly punches Angel. He didn¹t buy the story. He calls Angel his Œsire¹, and tells his gang to attack. Angel and Xander run, but Spike senses Buffy behind him and stays to fight her instead. While the two of them fight, Angel and Xander take on the rest of the vamps outside.

Joyce can¹t bring herself to abandon her daughter and follow the others. As the other parents run to safety, she turns backŠ

Spike slams Buffy into the wall, and she falls to the floor. He lifts a wooden beam high, ready to smash her face in, but an axe handle hits him around the head. It is Joyce! “You get the hell away from my daughter.” She warns. Buffy gets up, and Spike flees.

It is all over, and the police chief discusses the events of the evening with Snyder. They decide to stick to the story about a gang on pcp, rather than tell people Œthe truth¹.

Giles exits the building, apologizing to Jenny. He says he¹ll understand if she never wants to see him again, but she smiles and takes his arm.

Joyce tells Buffy that she doesn¹t care what Principal Snyder thinks. She has a daughter who is brave and resourceful, and thinks of others in a crisis. Buffy is pleased.

Cordelia is praying in the utility closet, as she and Willow don¹t yet know that it is safe!

In the vamps¹ lair a small beam of daylight creeps in through a broken window up high. Druscilla watches as Spike kneels before the Anointed One and offers penance. Because of his impatience the St Vigeous plans have been ruined. Humility is not in his nature, however, and he soon gets up and says he enjoyed every minute! Spike grabs a squealing Anointed One and throws him in a cage that is hanging from the ceiling. He hauls it up by the chains until it¹s in the beam of light. A scream and a puff of smoke later, and Spike is the new Big Bad.

Episode Ratings

Mac -

“Introducing Spike and Drusilla. Things will never be the same.”

DJ Angelus -

“PCP Gang. LOL. First apperance of the Biggest Bad of them All.  You all know him. He is the guy you love to hate. William the Blooooooody. aka Spike.”

Quotes

(B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, A=Angel, C=Cordelia, JC=Jenny Calendar, J=Joyce, PS=Principal Snyder, S=Spike, D=Druscilla, A1=Anointed One)

PS: A lot of educators tell students, “Think of your principal as your pal.” I say, think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner.

PS: Your parents - assuming you have any, will meet your teachers - assuming you have any left.

PS: Are we clear? B: I’m clear. Don’t you feel clear? We’re very clear.

X: Sheila’s definitely intense. That guy with her - that’s the one she *can* bring home to mother.

W: She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her. X: You’re bad to the bone. W: I’m a rebel.

B: I’m a Slayer. It requires a certain amount of cutting and fighting. What’s Sheila’s excuse? X: Homework. She won’t do it. And most teachers respect that now. Oh, you might want to keep away any sharp implements when you’re working with her.

X: As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you’ll be fine. B: Are you crazy?! Why did you say that? Now something bad’s going to happen. X: What do you mean? Nothing’s going to happen. W: Not until some dummy says, “As long as nothing bad happens.” B: It’s the ultimate jinx. W: What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all? X: Well, you guys don’t know. Maybe this time it’ll be different.

S: Home, sweet home. S: *You* were there? Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock.

S: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move.

S: So, who do you kill for fun around here?

S: Do you know what I found works real good with Slayers? Killing them.

S: Yeah, I did a couple Slayers in my time. I don’t like to brag. Who am I kidding? I *love* to brag!

D: Look at all the people. Are these nice people? S: We’re getting along.

D: Do you like daisies? I plant them, but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies.

S: Me and Dru, we’re moving in. Now, any of you want to test who’s got the biggest wrinklies around here, step on up.

D: Kill her for Princess? S: I’ll chop her into messes. D: You are my sweet, my little Spike.

B: I spent a good part of my allowance on this new creme rinse, and it’s neither creamy nor rinsey. J: Life is hard, dear. B: Don’t I know it. Is that a split end?

J: So, what do you think your teachers are going to tell me about you? B: Well, I think they’ll all agree that I always bring a pen to class, ready to absorb the knowledge.

B: What can you really tell about a person from a test score? J: Whether or not she’s ever going out with her friends again. B: Oh, that.

J: Wait until you get a job. B: I have a job.

W: Sheila’s a no-show? She goes to this really rank bar, the Fish Tank. Sometimes they have raids and other stuff that could make you tardy.

B: I can study and party and do parent/teacher night and make my mother proud, as long as I don’t have to… G: Buffy! B: …fight vampires.

JC: Rupert, you have got to read something that was published after 1066.

G: This Saturday is the night of St. Vigeous. B: Let me guess - he didn’t make balloon animals.

B: If my slaying doesn’t get me expelled, then I promise my banner-making won’t get me killed, okay?

X: Yeah, I’ll whittle stakes. W: And I can research stuff. X: And while I’m whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune.

G: You are, after all, the slay… JC: *ahem!* G: Slay… uh, slaves. You’re all slaves to the, uh, television. JC: Yes. G: Young people nowadays… Shall we go? JC: Let’s.

PS: You wouldn’t be helping Buffy in Sheila’s place, would you? W: No, we’re hindering.

Vamp: Slayer. B: Slayee.

B: What happens on Saturday? S: I kill you.

G: Spike? That’s what the other vampire called him? It’s a little unorthodox, isn’t it? B: Maybe he’s Reform.

G: Well, he can’t be any worse than any other creature you’ve faced. A: He’s worse. Once he starts something, he doesn’t stop, until everything in his path is dead. X: So he’s thorough, goal-oriented.

B: I was being cool. Come on, you’ve been dating for what, like 200 years, you don’t know what a girl means when she says maybe she’ll show? W: Wow. Two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that’s still, like, 400 dates with 400 different… Why do they call it a mace?

G: We do have slightly more urgent matters to discuss. B: Yeah, like keeping my mom away from Principal Snyder tomorrow night. JC: And not dying Saturday.

X: Okay, that’s it. I’m putting a collar with a little bell on that guy.

D: Miss Edith speaks out of turn, and will have no cakes today.

S: This is the place for us. The Hellmouth will restore you. Put color in your cheeks, metaphorically speaking.

S: God, this town will burn. D: A pretty fire.

X: Does anyone remember when Saturday night meant date night? C: You sure don’t.

C: My fingers are cramping. How long have I been doing this? X: Three minutes.

C: We’re still all rooting for you on Saturday. I’d be there for you myself if I didn’t have a leg wax.

W: What kind of punch did you make? B: Uh, lemonade. I made it fresh and everything. W: How much sugar did you use? B: Sugar?

C: Giles has us locked up in that library working on your weapons. Even slaves get minimum wage.

C: You’re starting to look a little slagged. What, are you just skipping foundation entirely now? B: Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It’s kind of like oil, and water, and a third unmeshable thing. C: Yeah, and I can see the oil. Is that your mom? Now, that is a woman that knows how to moisturize. Did it, like, skip a generation?

C: When they’re done talking… B: What? C: My guess? Tenth high school reunion, you’ll still be grounded. W: Cordelia, have some lemonade.

B: Um, but you haven’t seen the boiler room yet, and you know that’s really interesting, what with the boiler being in the room and all.

X: I’m not going anywhere until I know that Buffy and Willow are all right.

S: Slayer… here, kitty, kitty… I find one of your friends first, I’m gonna suck him dry, and use their bones to bash your head in. Are you getting a word picture here?

PS: Who do you think you are? B: I’m the one that knows how to stop them.

S: Come up against this Slayer yet? A: She’s cute. Not too bright, though. Gave the puppy-dog “I’m all tortured” act. Keeps her off my back when I feed. S: People still fall for that Anne Rice routine? What a world. X: I knew you were lying. Undead… liar guy. A: Want a bite before we kill her, hmmm?

S: This tortured thing is an act, right? You’re not… house-broken?

A: I’ll just feed and run.

S: You were my sire, man! You were my… Yoda. A: Things change. S: Not us! Not demons. Man, I can’t believe this. You Uncle Tom!

S: Fe, fi, fo, fum. I smell the blood of a nice… ripe… girl. B: Do we really need weapons for this? S: I just like them. They make me feel all manly.

S: I’ll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you, I’ll make it quick. It won’t hurt a bit. B: No, Spike, it’s going to hurt a lot.

X: So when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn’t you clock him before he had a chance to clock you? A: I told you, I couldn’t make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not. X: And if he bit me, what then? A: We would have known he bought it.

X: What’s the deal with you being his sire? What’s a sire?

C: And if you get me out of this, I swear I’ll never be mean to anyone ever again. Unless they really deserve it. Or if it’s that time of the month, in which case, I don’t think you or anyone else can hold me responsible… W: Ask for some aspirin. C: And can you please send some asp… hey!

S: A slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn’t in the brochure.

S: How’s the annoying one? D: He doesn’t want to play.

S: From now on, we’re going to have a little less ritual, and a little more fun around here. Let’s see what’s on TV.