Whoomp, there he is. — “Origin” : The Rant

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Warning: Spoilerish to the amount of 10.

DISCLAIMER: This week’s edition contains strong language that may not be suitable for younger viewers.

Welcome hellhounds to another edition of Le Rant! I’m here again with my fellow geek, Eric Hendrix. Let’s get it rollin’, sumbitches.

Eric: Sumbitches. I guess that makes me the Bandit. Otts must be snowman.

Matt: Oh yeah. What? You thought you were Smokey? Everyone knows I get top-billing. I’m Conan, you’re Andy Richter.

Eric: Ok you can have it…If Andy Richter ran the show…ass whipe.

Matt: I’m Cheech…you’re Chong. I’m Carson…you’re McMahon.

Eric: *Pulls out an Orlon Window*

Matt: Uh boy…this can’t be good.

Eric: Yes Matt, remember the deal we made?

Matt: No, that vanished with the memories. I told you you should have let me keep the memory of making the deal.

Eric: You come, run my sites, and I make all your ex-girlfriends forget you….and make you forget you slept with Connor.

Matt: Oh….well…good. Let’s keep it that way.

Eric: Now who gets first billing?

Matt: I still do…this is a bit. Where have you been?

Eric: Fine *smashes box, there is an explosion*

Matt: Shit.

Eric: Do you remember anything?

Matt: EWWWW….memories of gentle cupping flood my mind.

Eric: *Cue evil Tim Curry Laughter*

Matt: You sick bastard.

Eric: Back in my day, you would have been killed for your insolence.

Matt: Back in your day? When was that? 1997?

Eric: Ummmm…that’s not important. Ummmm….I am running out of lines. Let’s see here…Are you a god?

Matt: *pulls out script* Hmmm…I don’t see that here.

Eric: Fine.

Matt: *licks fingers, turns page*

Eric: *annoyed* What did you think of the episode, oh great Matt?

Matt: Well, I was practically orgasmic throughout the whole show, but you probably didn’t want to know that.

Eric: *vomits* No, it’s ok. I know you missed you boy toy….which I have to say it…CONNOR KICKS ASS.

Matt: Connor was like I wanted him to be in Season 3.

Eric: Exactly, well adjusted, and likeable.

Matt: A kid finding out about his powers, and not whining like a little bitch the entire time.

Eric: …And Angel didn’t end up on the bottom of the ocean.

Matt: Right. And the mythology of this episode was brilliant.

Eric: Yes. It was an all around excelent episode.

Matt: And can I say for the 100th time….DREW F’N GODDARD! The dude may be the greatest thing to hit TV since Joss Whedon himself.

Eric: I bet you say that during sex.

Matt: If I don’t yet, I soon will be.

Eric: Ewwwwww…Remind me never to sleep with you.

Matt: You will never be able to resist, so I can not remind you.

Eric: *resists* See? I can too.

Matt: Oh, alright….party pooper.

Eric: What about Illyria in the episode? She was hillarious.

Matt: Awesome. She and Spike…”I want Spike as a pet.”

Eric: “Wes: How are things going?” – “Ill: I hit the half breed and he makes noise.” Classic.

Matt: She was great. Amy is just WAY more talented than I thought. I mean, I knew she was good, but she’s REALLY good with this character.

Eric: And we got a taste of Fred in this episode. I think she is still inside of Illyria.

Matt: Yeah, and I’m not sure why. I mean, if Fred isn’t dead, ok…let’s keep bringing her up. But if she IS dead, let’s back away from it already. I mean, they didn’t mourn this much when Doyle died…when Cordy died….when anyone died.

Eric: You see when Fred came out in the file room with Wes, the voice changed and everything.

Matt: Well, if Fred’s soul is inside Illyria, then ok. It makes sense. But if it isn’t, let’s move on.

Eric: She is in there.

Matt: I loved Fred too, but bringing her up over and over is making everyone sad, and lord knows we’re gonna be sad enough after May 19.

Eric: She just has to fight her way back to controlling her body. I feel like they keep bringing her up because she isn’t gone.

Matt: Well, that would be cool if you’re right.

Eric: They don’t want the people to move on and start to adjust to Illyria.

Matt: How much do we like Marcus Hamilton?

Eric: Oh my God, he so rocks. I like him way better than Eve.

Matt: Everytime Adam Baldwin walks in, I think he’s going to get his pistol out and start talking with a southern draw.

Eric: …but instead he’s all proper lawyer.

Matt: I love Hamilton, and I love the man they call Jayne.

Eric: More like the man WE call Jayne. Anyway, he refuses to sleep with the boss to advance his position.

Matt: I know…shame on him! What’s his problem? Isn’t Angel attractive enough?

Eric: He’s probably a Spike fan.

Matt: Right…right. Good point.

And Gunn…..you know, you gotta feel sorry for the fella.

Eric: Maybe you do, I don’t, and neither does he. When he feels like he has been punished enough, we will move on to the real punishment.

Matt: Yeah….well, he refused to make a deal with W&H again, so he’s trying to atone.

Eric: Screw him. I do want him to come back, only after he hurts a little more.

Matt: Screw him for making a deal? Meanwhile, you and everyone else have no problem caring
about Angel and Spike who did far worse things over the course of 200 years?

Eric: They didn’t hurt Fred.

Matt: They hurt people.

Eric: I didn’t know THOSE people. Plus, he should have known better. They were evil at the time.

Matt: Oh…so we have to be in your inclusive “know Eric club” for you to care?

Eric: You should hear my war opinions.

Matt: No thanks. I don’t have 32 1/2 hours.

Eric: 33 even now.

Matt: Good to know.

Eric: I make fun of Bill Maher in the middle.

Matt: Yeah, I really don’t care.

Eric: Nor do I.

Matt: I wanted to mentioned that I missed Sahjan.

Eric: Why?

Matt: He’s the funniest bad guy ever….with the exception of Skip.

Eric: Yeah. I loved Connor being nice and fair.

Matt: Yeah, and what about the ending?

Eric: Yeah. Connor still well adjusted, with all his memories.

Matt: Connor was Connor, but was he? Yes, he was…or was he? Yes he was…or was he?

Eric: I wanted him to hug Angel though…

Matt: Well, let’s not go TOO far. That’s asking for a lot.

Eric: I can ask for a lot.

Matt: This isn’t an after school special…it’s Angel.

Eric: By the way, I am also asking for the entire cast of Law and Order to be in the last episode, but Joss won’t return my calls.

Matt: Thank God. Let’s hit the all in alls…

Eric: All in all, this episode rocked HARD. I give it a 9.4.

Matt: All in all, this season has NOT let me down, and this episode just continues that
trend. 9.5.

Well, that’s it for this week. We’ll see you next week when we rant about “Time Bomb”! Later!