News Suck 1.2: Have you seen this boy?
It's another Whedon news suck! Oh, happy day! Get the donuts and coffee out, and eat 'til you blow up, fatty! Let's hit it….
– As Coach Jon reported, the big news this week is that Joss Whedon is no longer involved with Wonder Woman. The two split up after Wonder Woman found out he was having a fling with another girl. Was it Buffy? Was it River? Was it some other chick with skills? You don't want to know, and I don't know.
I do know one thing, if you aren't happy that Joss is off that gig, then you really aren't a Joss Whedon fan.
– Happy Birthday to Seth Green. He could be the oldest living little person. Someone may want to check that.
33? Yeah, that's got to be a record.
– Summer Glau is joining the cast of Fox's "The Sarah Connor Chronicles". It's sci-fi, it's Fox….who wants to start the betting that this will last 12 episodes?
– Joss will be directing a "Sailor Moon" film! This coming from someone who has no credibility, and yet Whedonesque demands on posting it. They call it a bad rumour, and post it anyway.
– Hey you! Yes, you! Browncoat nerd! Want to be even more of a virgin than you already are? Well, here's your chance to party with other virgins on the Browncoat Cruise! That's right, you can live it up on the high seas with a bunch of other pale-faced douchebags. Be a BDH (A big dumb homo) and aim to misbehave today! Reserve your seat in hell.
– Adam Baldwin is doing his 17,542nd pilot! This one is for NBC's "Chuck". Hey, you would think eventually one of these would be a hit. You keep aiming for the ball there, Adam!
Studio Executive: Hey Adam, we have a pilot for you. Now you don't have to take it, but….
Adam: I'll do it.
Studio Executive: We haven't even told you what it's about.
Adam: Will there be cameras in front of my face?
Studio Executive: Uh, yes.
Adam: I'll take it.
– In completely unrelated news, Rachel McAdams might end up being the new Rachel Dawes in the 2nd Batman Begins movie, "The Dark Knight". She would be replacing Katie Holmes. The task of being Rachel Dawes must mean then that McAdams will have to marry a nutty troll, become brainwashed, and have a baby. I am not a troll, nor proficient in mind control, but I can definitely help with the baby making. Call me, Rachel.
This has been THE SUCK.
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